Re: Heather by andrewjthomas	26-Feb-04/10:02 AM
Many many stereotypes hold this back. Well written.
Re: Lifes work by richa	27-Feb-04/10:10 AM
(original) The dumb squirrel has again tilted the earth the clod-footed geranium's ear bends to bedrock, a boneless body again to be buried up to its neck in soil. Spadework, the skies stay open.
Re: Passion is by fevriere	27-Feb-04/10:14 AM
How adorable to read a poeme about passion from one of poemrankers Christian Youth. (the collapse thing is a bit naff and 'stroke me'?)
regarding some deleted poem...	27-Feb-04/1:05 PM
Tell me something I may not know
Re: Passion is by fevriere	28-Feb-04/3:11 AM
The first few lines show a certain potential. 'Outside I am watching and life goes round/ like prose and just as' The rest is a bit off, but reading the entire submissions of a day. Something like this sticks out.
Re: Looking Outside by etherealmaiden	2-Mar-04/5:27 AM
You are on the inside looking out, you see children playing, chasing a lark, cutting themselves, getting over it. OK anything else?
regarding some deleted poem...	2-Mar-04/5:28 AM
Well written, complete, not much more to say.
Re: The Lincoln Half by MacFrantic	2-Mar-04/5:33 AM
Lines 5,6,7 have no obvious context. Other than that I find this quite cute.
regarding some deleted poem...	2-Mar-04/7:08 AM
are you afraid of the dark?
Re: Early Morning by fevriere	2-Mar-04/9:51 AM
If you are going to use punctuation use it the way through. Needs a comma after insulated in the first verse and why the arbitrariness of capitals. First verse does not make much sense grammatically. Quite like the idea, the wisdom of an angel, how your wisdom is the age of your body but they are bodiless.
regarding some deleted poem...	8-Mar-04/11:13 AM
The haiku argues ad hoc. You are making the argument against gay marriage in the knowledge that gay people can't procreate. What if they could, would you still disagree, of course you would. Also to rockmage, it is mastUrbation.
Re: “I’ll Drop You Off At The Next Corner” by Blindpoetry	9-Mar-04/4:38 AM
The car metaphor or whatever it is is too clumsy and esoteric, and often absurd. You might as well talk about leaving a cake out in the rain and losing the recipe and it taking so long to bake. (MacArthur Park) Read it out loud 'if you want to stop for food don't ride with me'. You can not write in an angry manner and then talk about stopping off for food.
regarding some deleted poem...	9-Mar-04/9:04 AM
Couple of points: 1) Science is easy, matters of the heart I have trouble with is quite common to write about. So try to handle it in a refreshing way. 2) If you must talk of science try and be precise with your word choice. Talking about 'things' may appear like you are blathering. Otherwise well written.
regarding some deleted poem...	9-Mar-04/11:31 AM
OK I'll step in and embarass myself. I don't get it. The first verse is ace, the second verse I get lost, the 'it' does that refer to breath, I can't see anything else. And the picture a bird - is a bird the angler -, an Rorschash test, an axe murderer.
regarding some deleted poem...	10-Mar-04/1:53 PM
There is no marriage like a gay marriage, and a gay marriage is no marriage at all. (For now being)
Re: Brethren by richa	11-Mar-04/2:35 PM
The trick of the dandelion clock: To disperse in the wind, grey seeds to interchange like girls, plain as a sugar's beet, that dance, a#### #p### ##p## ###l## ####e# #####s each hiding a Newton.
Re: Woman in the purple cotton jacket(repaired) by INTRANSIT	13-Mar-04/11:26 AM
I think what this poeme needs is some arbitrary line breaks. If I may:- She talks quietly with the elderly couple, seeming healthy except for her rubberized hands: Small bendable fingers, look alikes, no fancy prosthetics, stainless hooks, or muscle triggers. It took both of her hands to manouevre, the fork just to pick a single beet slice. I paid my bill and walked outside to a father teaching his son how to skip stones across the pond.
Re: My Boyfriend's Afro Pick by horus8	14-Mar-04/4:49 AM
'About how you've worked for your glorified bona' -9-
Re: Your silhouette still drinks at my table by Don-Quixote	14-Mar-04/6:13 AM
Don't know much about ghazals, think there is something about repetition you may have missed though. This is good, I have a small problem with 'didn't need to unlock these chains' which sounds a bit corny and 'vengeance passivity' which sounds babble.
regarding some deleted poem...	16-Mar-04/10:45 AM
Lines should not be so long that the reader forgets what word you are trying to rhyme. Use of the word crimson is a sin!