| Re: a comment on Stripping the willow by ecargo |
21-Jan-07/3:21 AM |
Oh, alright. This pome* is bow'ls.
I missed the second part of the Christmas VoD. Was it good?
* not even a poeme. How's that for being slapped with harsh criticism?
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| Re: a comment on Wreck of the Poor Anchor by Dovina |
21-Jan-07/3:19 AM |
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It was a typo; the angel meant to say 'you foil', as in, you foil the deep space radio station's research by covering poemeranker with foil. Time Team 3000 will be tearing their hair out over this.
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| Re: a comment on Wreck of the Poor Anchor by Dovina |
21-Jan-07/3:16 AM |
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*well the road runs down by the butternut grove to old Bill Skinner's stream...*
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| Re: Molecules of Paint by Dovina |
21-Jan-07/3:13 AM |
This is pretty good actually. The images are well-crafted and effective. It needs a more careful second read though. I'll come back later. Metrically, I like it mostly, although some places need reworking ('crimson/Artistes' etc.). rockmage might have a point about there being too many words though, ones like 'while', 'now', 'then' can probably be edited out or replaced.
'spec' = 'speck'?
'resignly' = 'resignedly'?
Love the final stanza :-)
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| Re: a comment on Stripping the willow by ecargo |
18-Jan-07/2:21 PM |
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I might have gotten carried away by the title a little. But still, it's a wonderful line.
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| Re: He's... by holliebollie_19 |
18-Jan-07/9:05 AM |
Couple of typos in here need fixing.
Influences?
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| Re: a comment on Stripping the willow by ecargo |
18-Jan-07/9:02 AM |
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Nothing whatsoever wrong with British spelling, it shows excellent taste ;-)
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| Re: Stripping the willow by ecargo |
18-Jan-07/9:00 AM |
POEME STATS:
Stanzas: 3
Lines: 12
Uses of 'the': 7
Uses of 'a': 4
Not that I'm criticising there, but you might want to borrow one of the mage's chisels?
'along the long' = yikes
'a sough of doubt' = sex on a light blue screen
Stanza two is super, so is the final line. Stanza one feels weaker than the rest, not that I know what to suggest. Maybe it's the brevity of line one. Everyone who says this is a lovely poem is right though.
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| Re: Give it up Max by Stephen Robins |
18-Jan-07/8:51 AM |
Top closing stanza.
I have a David Gower-based poem in production for you.
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| Re: a comment on Wreck of the Poor Anchor by Dovina |
16-Jan-07/2:32 PM |
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This ain't ego-talk. I was just trying to cover up the fact that I had nothing useful to say :(
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| Re: a comment on Bitter by Ranger |
16-Jan-07/2:25 PM |
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'It' being the word or the poem? If you mean the poem, then it's nothing more than it says; the narrator having a really bad day. If it's the word 'degree', I can't remember my precise thinking (at least, not this late and after a long day) but it'll have been along the lines of 'in her own way' or 'in her own manner'. Or something like that. A poetic way of saying 'whatever', really.
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| Re: Wreck of the Poor Anchor by Dovina |
16-Jan-07/2:17 PM |
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I quite liked some of it but then as Stephen will tell you, I'm incapable of disliking anything, and as rockmage will tell you I have no talent, so it's a pretty pointless compliment.
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| Re: a comment on Same old rancour (a yellow stream of consciousness) by ecargo |
16-Jan-07/2:11 PM |
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I'm back in England until the end of the week (working again over the Christmas break) but I should be in Cardiff in April. Lots of friends to visit as well, so I expect to be much more well-travelled by July. Uni's going really well and I finally have some direction career-wise (hurrah!). It just requires the year to finish as it started and for the teachers' union to not bring about armageddon. Let me know when you're about again, we'll chat then :-)
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| Re: a comment on Bitter by Ranger |
16-Jan-07/1:58 PM |
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Thanks, I think you might be right about s4. I didn't spend very long on it though, and revision efforts have been minimal. A couple of months lurking around on allpoetry has murdered my desire to write... :(
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| Re: a comment on Bitter by Ranger |
16-Jan-07/1:55 PM |
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I think so, although sometimes it's not so clear. Haven't bothered with the internet for a while though, been out of communications. I'll give you a shout on your homepage rather than clutter up this nice tidy poetry site.
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| Re: Same old rancour (a yellow stream of consciousness) by ecargo |
16-Jan-07/1:52 PM |
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Hey there ecargo, I wasn't going to sign back to poemeranker but I saw you about and thought I'd say the hellos. Long time no speak, how's the kayaking?
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| Re: a comment on Russian absinthe by AlexandraLeaving |
5-Jan-07/3:35 AM |
It's true. I even like that comment. I was born with a terrible disability that meant I couldn't dislike anything, and have had to go through life wearing a faintly puzzled smile. It's a bit like being Borat, only without the sock visibility.
Did you know that in 2041 we're all going to be wiped out by an enormous asteroid unless NASA can get Bruce Willis out of retirement to open up an Armageddon-style can of whupass on the situation? No more poemranker, no more cancelled flights from Heathrow, no more David Gower. What will the place be like then?
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| Re: Fanatic by Dovina |
2-Jan-07/1:31 AM |
Love the last stanza and like the idea within 'greenly', although I hate the word itself. 'Factuality' really doesn't sit well as a line end, 'fact' would do just as well for me.
Too many uses of 'he'; maybe you're trying to show his idealistic egocentrism, but it sits awkwardly with me. Still effective though.
Happy New Year :-)
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| Re: Russian absinthe by AlexandraLeaving |
2-Jan-07/1:26 AM |
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I quite like this and I don't know why.
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| Re: Happy birthday to myself by Prince of Void |
2-Jan-07/1:17 AM |
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