on Dashboard Jesus by wilco
19 Mar 2006, 5:48 PM
in the pines, in the pines, where the sun don't ever shine . . .
Nice ditty.
Nice ditty.
Holy mackerel, Ranger! Well, if I remember the proper scoring method when using the Pimple Checklist, I must score 10 or the number of checked boxes, whichever is least. So, er, let's see--that's 10! Which I'd give you anyway--nicely gothic and ghastly and the rhyme scheme is dead on and a credit to Poe worship. Very cool.
on The Peccadillary by -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I.
18 Mar 2006, 10:42 AM
It's all got me feeling quite delirious. "To deliberately pluralise 'sheep' as 'sheeps'" is no mere peccadillo, though--it's an abomination!
I'd love to see your take on an abcedarium.
I'd love to see your take on an abcedarium.
replying on Indiscrete by ecargo
18 Mar 2006, 10:35 AM
You're dead on. Although I had a hotel room in mind with "brocade."
I spelled the title this way deliberately, to imply a lack of separateness, doing things out of a need for connection, connectedness (my ancient Webster's has one meaning as "not separated"). Whether it works is another matter! (I think it does for the first verse; for the second, it's more of a stretch.)
I've no dibs on the word, so feel free! ;)
I spelled the title this way deliberately, to imply a lack of separateness, doing things out of a need for connection, connectedness (my ancient Webster's has one meaning as "not separated"). Whether it works is another matter! (I think it does for the first verse; for the second, it's more of a stretch.)
I've no dibs on the word, so feel free! ;)
replying on Indiscrete by ecargo
17 Mar 2006, 1:57 PM
Actually, I was away for a long time too--we all seemed to split around the same time. Things got a little wacky during the Ornella Muti fiasco and whatnot. But, yeah, I was HH. Not thick at all--no reason you'd know.
And right back atcha! About to end my workday and go find a nice Jameson rocks somewhere, in honor of the occasion. ;) Here's lookin' at ya!
And right back atcha! About to end my workday and go find a nice Jameson rocks somewhere, in honor of the occasion. ;) Here's lookin' at ya!
on The Horror The Horror by Nicholas Jones
17 Mar 2006, 1:30 PM
"Mistah Kurtzâhe dead.
A penny for the Old Guy"
Lots to work with here--many good lines and thoughts. Leans a little to the side of polemic though.
A penny for the Old Guy"
Lots to work with here--many good lines and thoughts. Leans a little to the side of polemic though.
replying on Indiscrete by ecargo
17 Mar 2006, 1:19 PM
Fried eggs! Exactly!
Well, no, I'm kidding. I never thought of eggs, not once. But it's interesting how you got there.
Ah, yes! The King Edward potato! ;) Ummm . . .
A little research yields that "King Edward potatoes have been the true British potato for centuries." http://gardenaction.co.uk/fruit_veg_diar
Maybe he or she is just a true potato patriot.
Well, no, I'm kidding. I never thought of eggs, not once. But it's interesting how you got there.
Ah, yes! The King Edward potato! ;) Ummm . . .
A little research yields that "King Edward potatoes have been the true British potato for centuries." http://gardenaction.co.uk/fruit_veg_diar
Maybe he or she is just a true potato patriot.
replying on Settling in by INTRANSIT
17 Mar 2006, 1:08 PM
Not sure what changed, honestly, but here's a revote.
Just curious--what made you choose tercets?
Just curious--what made you choose tercets?
on Mango Pickle by amanda_dcosta
17 Mar 2006, 5:59 AM
Hey Mandy--the NY Times had an op-ed piece on Indian mangos. It called them "the King of Fruit, Indian masterpieces that are burnished like jewels, oozing sweet, complex flavors acquired after two millenniums of painstaking grafting." Looks like they'll be headed our way as part of the new nuke/trade pact.
http://www.nytimes.com/2006/03/12/opinio
http://www.nytimes.com/2006/03/12/opinio
on Birthday by Dhanesh M Kumar
15 Mar 2006, 8:44 AM
Clearer than some of your others. How is "a" morning dew moribund (on the point of death, but moribund also has the connotation of stagnancy, a lack of vitality, and dew, in contrast, changes to something else). Also that 'moribund' line isn't a complete thought, it just flops around limply.
I think I see what you're saying here, but it seems a rather wordy way to say that age doesn't matter, and, yet, it does.
I think I see what you're saying here, but it seems a rather wordy way to say that age doesn't matter, and, yet, it does.
replying on Endless Battle by rahson_s
15 Mar 2006, 8:35 AM
Yeah, really. Sometimes I wish it were more like Garageband.com--you have to give something to get something.
on Endless Battle by rahson_s
15 Mar 2006, 8:30 AM
Don't want to be the punctuation police, but punctuation would help this, I think--make it more clear and accessible. It's got energy and a good narrative flow to it. Could tighten a few places (" . . . she penetrates my lies/and picks out truth: I lie too much, the damage has been done; I'm losing this battle with my pen." Maybe break there, too, and start a new line or stanza with "she knows me very well." Watch your cliches ("I'm living proof") and pay some attention to breaks, etc., and this could be even better.
replying on Numbers In Heaven by Dovina
15 Mar 2006, 8:24 AM
And then there's Einstein's marvellous take on it all:
âThe fairest thing we can experience is the mysterious. It is the fundamental emotion which stands at the cradle of true art and true science. He who knows it not and can no longer wonder, no longer feel amazement, is as good as dead, a snuffed-out candle. It was the experience of mystery â even if mixed with fear â that engendered religion. A knowledge of the existence of something we cannot penetrate, of the manifestations of the profoundest reason and the most radiant beauty, which are only accessible to our reason in their most elementary forms-it is this knowledge and this emotion that constitute the truly religious attitude; in this sense, and in this alone, I am a deeply religious man. I cannot conceive of a God who rewards and punishes his creatures, or has a will of the type of which we are conscious in ourselves. An individual who should survive his physical death is also beyond my comprehension, nor do I wish it otherwise; such notions are for the fears or absurd egoism of feeble souls. Enough for me the mystery of the eternity of life, and the inkling of the marvellous structure of reality, together with the single-hearted endeavour to comprehend a portion, be it never so tiny, of the reason that manifests itself in nature.â
Works for me.
âThe fairest thing we can experience is the mysterious. It is the fundamental emotion which stands at the cradle of true art and true science. He who knows it not and can no longer wonder, no longer feel amazement, is as good as dead, a snuffed-out candle. It was the experience of mystery â even if mixed with fear â that engendered religion. A knowledge of the existence of something we cannot penetrate, of the manifestations of the profoundest reason and the most radiant beauty, which are only accessible to our reason in their most elementary forms-it is this knowledge and this emotion that constitute the truly religious attitude; in this sense, and in this alone, I am a deeply religious man. I cannot conceive of a God who rewards and punishes his creatures, or has a will of the type of which we are conscious in ourselves. An individual who should survive his physical death is also beyond my comprehension, nor do I wish it otherwise; such notions are for the fears or absurd egoism of feeble souls. Enough for me the mystery of the eternity of life, and the inkling of the marvellous structure of reality, together with the single-hearted endeavour to comprehend a portion, be it never so tiny, of the reason that manifests itself in nature.â
Works for me.
replying on Climbing the Wall by ecargo
14 Mar 2006, 5:52 AM
Excellent, R! Both of 'em seem good "read aloud" poems. Bookends rhyming (and a Horseshoe's cultural cornucopia). Good for you for getting up there, 7 people or 70. I hate the idea of doing readings, always think I'll be shaky voiced on the rare rare occasions I can bring myself to do 'em, but then it's never as bad as I think.
replying on Numbers In Heaven by Dovina
14 Mar 2006, 5:36 AM
All very well and good and obvious and only tangentially related to what was actually said. Ace! You win again.
replying on Settling in by INTRANSIT
14 Mar 2006, 5:33 AM
Hee--you know this one. Oliver! "Consider yourself . . . at home/consider yourself part of (par to?) the furniture . . . ".
Cool poeme, bwonging and all. I agree with Dovina re: adoring floor--it jarred me out of this for whatever reason. Good sounds in this--"whirrs and tinks a sconce."
Cool poeme, bwonging and all. I agree with Dovina re: adoring floor--it jarred me out of this for whatever reason. Good sounds in this--"whirrs and tinks a sconce."
replying on Numbers In Heaven by Dovina
13 Mar 2006, 2:50 PM
Heh--a much more productive use of time.
Though this did make an uneventful Monday fly by.
So much for not getting sucked into the 'ranker comments feature again. Sigh.
Though this did make an uneventful Monday fly by.
So much for not getting sucked into the 'ranker comments feature again. Sigh.
Please. Your off-the-cuff comments are more creative and thoughtful than many poems posted here that draw popular-vote nines and tens on a monotonously regular basis.
To wit (with some liberties):
The unconscious mind? Repressed fantasies, unacceptable
desires and traumas, a receptacle for messes,
the unresolved psychological kind that rules lives.
A refuge for the Divine, with a cosmic order
and creativity of its own, dreams are not
pointless; they tell all you wish weren't true
about yourself, your nature, existence---
those recent strange dreams
you remember.
Write it down, break lines, don't worry so much about it. Here's hoping you find your way back.