Re: Exodus of Babylon by SupremeDreamer	4-Feb-06/9:53 AM
I like this--the bitter energy of it, the random rhymes/near rhymes (ash, flesh), the cohesiveness of it. Some good lines too--euphoric pilgrimage. Watch the cliches (ravaged soul, piece of my heart, all-embracing). Nits: one's, not ones. The 'n's for "ands" don't seem to serve any purpose; more distracting than anything. Cool.
Re: a comment on Even the elephants by ecargo	4-Feb-06/9:49 AM
Ha--yeah, that crazy sky and its lampshade. The trees hide the sky and the trees hide the elephants, that's all I meant, but yeah, good point. The em-dash stands in for "for." Me and my ems. Too close to this--if/when I rewrite, I'll definitely consider your suggestions. Thanks for the thoughtful comments and for spending the time, lady.
Re: a comment on A Walk in the Park by Dovina	4-Feb-06/9:42 AM
"Pseudepigrapha, from Greek pseudos = "false", "epigrapha" = "inscriptions"— see Epigraphy— are falsely attributed works, texts whose claimed authorship is unfounded. For instance, few Hebrew scholars would insist that the Song of Solomon was actually written by the king of Israel or ascribe the Book of Enoch to the prophet Enoch, and few Christian scholars would insist today that the Second Epistle of John was written by John the Evangelist. Nevertheless, in some cases, especially for books belonging to a religious canon, the question of whether a text is pseudepigraphical elicits sensations of loyalty and can become a matter of heavy dispute. The authenticity or value of the work itself, which is a separate question for experienced readers, often becomes sentimentally entangled in the association. Though the inherent value of the text may not be called into question, the weight of a revered or even apostolic author lends authority to a text. This is the essential motivation for pseudepigraphy in the first place." Many of the writings attributed (by name or implication) to Solomon are now considered psuedepigraphical, because of anomolies with regard to dates, language, etc. It doesn't mean that the works are any less beautiful, inspiring, valuable, etc., just means that they weren't necessarily written by Solomon (or any other kings of Jerusalem).
Re: a comment on A Walk in the Park by Dovina	3-Feb-06/3:22 PM
Solomon never "claimed" to be Ecclesiastes, that claim was made about Solomon by others. Certain modern scholars are now moving away from that belief, in part because the Hebrew used in Ecclesiastes would not have been in common use in Solomon's time. Your interpretation of the meaning of Ecclesiastes is simplistic.
Re: a comment on Coney Island Fall by ecargo	3-Feb-06/3:17 PM
How right you are! That's why it's Coney Island Fall (a pun). That's also why it contains the line: "this autumn day." Last day to ride is usually 10/31; first day to ride is the first Saturday in April (sometimes the last Saturday in March). It was cool to go in winter and take pics of the coasters in the snow, especially before they tore down the old Thunderbolt (under which Woody Allen's character, Alvy, grew up in the movie Annie Hall).
Re: a comment on Even the elephants by ecargo	3-Feb-06/2:48 PM
Some might think this could use an amnesiac super-assassin. I do mean windborne. Thanks.
Re: Whales in Gastineau Channel by zodiac	3-Feb-06/2:46 PM
This doesn't seem to hit its stride until the third stanza. The first almost seems like screenplay style scene-setting (I think I read a comment that you were working on a screenplay. A little genre-bending here maybe?) Nikons and anoraks works well (for me) as a flash image of the crowd. FWIW, "yen" is still pretty common parlance in my part of the country (so's hankering). Borne is spelled correctly. ;)
Re: a comment on Les Imagistes by Nicholas Jones	1-Feb-06/11:19 AM
No, I'm more of a pinch potter. But I did write a terribly tedious paper as an undergrad on Vorticism, an offshoot of Imagism, discussing Pound and Brzeska and the parallels between the two artists (and art forms). I was "dancing" at the time to make tuition (Yale is so expensive!) and titled my paper "Stripping, the Metaphor." I got a B- (he took points off for the "misplaced" comma).
Re: a comment on Penny Loafer Blues by ALChemy	1-Feb-06/7:15 AM
dingdingding! Yeah, I missed that--guess I'm a bit of an Imagist in wanting my images connected, focused, but you're right--here, the flash of unconnected images against closed lids is a sort of falling-asleep sequence, freeflowing and disordered, like dreams. Cool.
Re: Les Imagistes by Nicholas Jones	1-Feb-06/7:10 AM
Imagism is considered more of a parallel to sculpture than to painting. So the idea of "purging" or paring seems very apt--rather than layering images they focus on the core, the clean lines. This is clever because you practice what you preach--the seemingly extraneous imagery--the 7-inch, the opening stanzas. Thoughtful and thought-provoking.
Re: Giving in to a boring suggestion by Joe-joe	1-Feb-06/6:55 AM
Ha--cute. Want to take on my upstairs neighbors who walk on hard wood floors in high heels?
Re: a comment on The Book of Images by Dovina	1-Feb-06/6:39 AM
How well you know me, on the basis of so short an acquaintance! How perceptive! How perspicacious! If the imagery is common, why do we need a poem to point it out? We know already--it's "common." They're idiomatic for a reason--"someone thought it was a good way of communicating," and apparently we agreed. Doesn't seem like you're saying much of anything at all.
Re: a comment on The Book of Images by Dovina	31-Jan-06/3:01 PM
Lots to be appreciative of. I think AlChemy nailed it--if you made it more personal to you, it'd be more personal to us.
Re: a comment on The Book of Images by Dovina	31-Jan-06/2:31 PM
"Weighed in the balance . . . " by the Book of Daniel, maybe. Modern scholarship, based on archeology, treats him with a great deal more reverence: a king among kings. So I see.
Re: a comment on The Book of Images by Dovina	31-Jan-06/1:59 PM
Just curious--what was your intent here? Putting a picture into a frame doesn't make you the creator of that picture--so what's the point of this? To signal appreciation? Something else? Ever read "On First Looking into Chapman's Homer" by Keats? A good example of being inspired by beauty to make something equally (or more) beautiful.
Re: a comment on Glitterati by ecargo	31-Jan-06/6:47 AM
Oh I'm a notorious blue-peter comment deleter. And then--THEN--some goddamn hippies tracked mud all over the Aubussons.
Re: The Book of Images by Dovina	31-Jan-06/6:45 AM
I'd suggest cutting the first two verses--too much exposition. Or maybe just rework the lead in to make it more succinct.
Re: a comment on Time, Indeterminate by ecargo	30-Jan-06/10:23 AM
Someone "gave" me a whale named Zeppelin for Christmas, and it worked its way in here. I think I just liked the concept of something floating free, another level of freedom embodied by the whale. Or maybe it was because my certificate of whale sponsorship was right before my eyes on my cork board while I was writing this. Thanks for the comment. No plans to write a sequel, but you never know.
Re: Generation Next, Fuck you(The Fake Out) by thepinkbunnyofdoom	30-Jan-06/10:20 AM
Okay--think I get it. Do the swimmers think they're swimming someplace else; is that it? Lake of fire = stomach acids (as opposed to more welcoming ground)? Must be the month for blowjob poems, huh? ;-D
Re: a comment on Us Sinners by BrandonW	29-Jan-06/6:04 PM
What's with you and the atheists? I have no intention of "just" dying. I plan to stick around terrorizing hypocritical, "judgy" Christ cultists (starting with nutflakes like Pat Robertson and any number of Republican politicians) until the flesh melts off my bones and my bones fall to dust and I'm reabsorbed into the earth, thus becoming immortal. Oh, the weight that this little haiku had to bear. Funny, really.