regarding some deleted poem... |
9-Oct-02/11:03 AM |
God's wife, no false modesty here. Naive as turnips ? It was simple and emotional-what's wrong with that, I loved it. A lot better than some of the hyperbole herein administered by others who give themselves up to the art and fail miserably-Well done, you have talent, take risks-go for it a bit more this was a great start- 10/10
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Re: Ambiguous Love Poem For A Girl I Once Knew by poetandknowit |
9-Oct-02/11:09 AM |
Why would you want to severely criticise the sun, the giver of life ? You also use a lot of " ands" are you ralted to babitt-he uses them a lot to-dead language pilgrim-get a live. I liked the ending it made me laugh, you may have potential, get over yourself first, you are in denial. 7/10
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Re: Ambiguous Love Poem For A Girl I Once Knew by poetandknowit |
9-Oct-02/11:10 AM |
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regarding some deleted poem... |
9-Oct-02/11:12 AM |
Anne Sexton you aint, goddess of poetry.
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regarding some deleted poem... |
9-Oct-02/11:29 AM |
I want to like this, I like the bitter tone, having left the house and NOW its got laughter-I mean what about me ! Laughing almost strained-are you telling us you our hero did not witness laughter or strained laughter ?-make your mind up , this ambivalent interpretability almost negates your message ? And then you further confound your felony by adding " how it all comes so easy "-answer - it doesn't -its STRAINED. So you tell me what are you saying. Overall it had a good feel to it-probably worth around 6/10 on the Werther benchmark of poets scale-level two.
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regarding some deleted poem... |
9-Oct-02/11:39 AM |
This is better. Would you the undulation of one wave, its trick to me transfer, or breathe one breath of yours upon my verse,
And leave its odor there.
I think you would-8/10
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Re: Sunshine by alexander |
9-Oct-02/11:41 AM |
What is this simple fare trying to appeal to the humour of the proletariat-it made me guffaw which indicates it is not altogether bad-maybe try a re-write at night would be my recommendation-8/10
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Re: Here In The Heart of Amber by Lenore |
9-Oct-02/11:45 AM |
Shades of Wordsworth here, glittering and glinting so close together give me a bit of a problem. Armour-are you American trying to be English or just using the correct spellig ? This deserves to be here-well done -9/10
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Re: To Kiss by Jody Conn |
9-Oct-02/11:48 AM |
I hate to say it , I agree with poet-bloke-thinks-he-knows it all. Tripe !
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regarding some deleted poem... |
9-Oct-02/11:50 AM |
When Kubla Khan.....An epic that merits an epic score-0/10
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regarding some deleted poem... |
9-Oct-02/11:52 AM |
These "ands" are doing my head in, sorry lapsed into the vernacular-unforgivable-lashings of apologies. Which old river ? IS it her subconscious you get off on ?
Does she know you try to write poetry ?
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regarding some deleted poem... |
9-Oct-02/11:57 AM |
I agree with netwined, too many maybe's here-5/10
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Re: Conversations with a Clock II by morffrom |
9-Oct-02/12:02 PM |
Trouble is you are just a tick and tock poet tart. This made me think for the first time today. Is this idiot for real or is he trying to say something a little bit deep. I think I get it-he's lonely and he wants to make a joke of it and make himself feel better-its cathartic-so as I am not an unreasonable bastard-8/10. Try again when you have a life pal.
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Re: Birth by nentwined |
9-Oct-02/12:05 PM |
It would help if it was spelltt proopperrlie -nah-sorry it didn't sdo it for mee-1/10
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Re: Jericho by goldfish |
9-Oct-02/12:12 PM |
Ok Kipling, Blake-somebody bake a cake- its too nice for here -get some street cred and come back when you are a big boy/girl/thing-or whatever stay here if you like it-kind of between lex and 47th-say 5/10
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Re: father Worked Nights by poetandknowit |
9-Oct-02/12:14 PM |
Whilst mother copulated with the stray dogs no doubt, using her grecian urn as a receiver-you can do batter(sic) than this-3/10
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Re: father Worked Nights by poetandknowit |
9-Oct-02/12:15 PM |
no wait its sardonic humour
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Re: Tugboats by poetandknowit |
9-Oct-02/12:17 PM |
Damn, damn, damn , and dmanation-I like this, no-I do, this is good-10/10
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Re: Tugboats by poetandknowit |
9-Oct-02/12:18 PM |
Except whiskey is spelt WHISKY-illiterate american bum
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Re: The last day of an old year by poetandknowit |
28-Feb-03/12:45 AM |
Whatever happened to Babitt(sp?)-I miss his work, it had a nice quality about it. Please re-post it, if not I would love to share West of here with some literary friends of mine.
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