Re: a comment on Wreck of the Poor Anchor by Dovina	19-Jan-07/12:23 PM
P.S. No harnesses were required for my relocation. It began with an elaborate system of ropes, pulleys, and two-way mirrors. After a great deal of shouting (and countless soilings), I was placed inside a crate. 3 weeks later I had run out of straw to eat. That was when I pulled back the drapes and shouted USA! USA! USA!
Re: a comment on Wreck of the Poor Anchor by Dovina	19-Jan-07/12:08 PM
Owing to a clerical error, I have been temporarily moved to Nude York. And guess what: it was Indus Valley. I asked the waiter why he had put a monkey egg in the vindaloo, and he said "Don't you know monkeys are mammals?" I said "I know monkeys are animals. And animals lay eggs. That's why they have to live in nests. Humans don't lay eggs because they're not animals. They do produce eggs, though -- it's just that they hatch internally. Either way you fail."
Re: Wreck of the Poor Anchor by Dovina	19-Jan-07/9:35 AM
I went to an Indian restaurant last night on 100th & Broadway, and I swear to God my friend's vindaloo had a monkey egg in it. It was about the size of a ping pong ball, brown, with an outer shell, and some kind of nut inside. It smelt of anise. It wasn't fresh so I'm guessing it was laid in India somewhere and transported to New York in a tupperware container. We discarded it and continued with our meal. -3-
Re: Curry Gives You The Shits by spank me baby yeah	18-Jan-07/3:56 PM
Never dine on ethnic foods. Kipling knew this only too well. I quote: Now, it is not good for the Christian’s health to hustle the Aryan brown, For the Christian riles, and the Aryan smiles, and he weareth the Christian down; And the end of the fight is a tombstone white, with the name of the late deceased, And the epitaph drear: ‘A fool lies here who tried to hustle the East.’
Re: a comment on The dancers by richa	12-Jan-07/8:26 AM
I don't work in IT. We quizzed Hunstman about their penchant for the single button: apparently, you can place a single button at exactly the right place, so when you button up the jacket it is perfectly balanced. With two buttons, you inevitably end up with the top one slightly too high.
Re: a comment on The dancers by richa	12-Jan-07/8:12 AM
Of course it was from the Row. Just got back from there, as it happens. Took an absurdly long lunch break (my colleague was having a fitting done at Hunstman), but was appalled when the waiter informed me: "Chef is not happy with the foie gras today. Would Sir like to select another item from the menu?"
Re: a comment on The dancers by richa	12-Jan-07/1:57 AM
The single vent is an American abumination. I also hate 3 button suits, anyone who has a really fat tie knot, fused canvas, garish two-tone linings, and shirts with massive cuffs and massive collars. I've only bought a Gieves & Hawkes personal tailored suit, which is still under construction (grey with very subtle pin stripe, 2 button, slightly angled pockets, no belt-loops, Cambridge Blue lining). Once my excellent tastes have reached some sort of equilibrium, it's time for fully bespoke. My weekend wear looks something like this: http://www.moviemaze.de/media/wallpaper/2033/goldfinger.html
Re: Better Sex by Dovina	11-Jan-07/5:15 PM
You didn't have 'Better Sex'. You didn't even have sex. You just talked for two boring hours on the phone. Talk about gutted.
Re: a comment on The dancers by richa	11-Jan-07/9:23 AM
Only Gieves & Hawkes will do for me. A man should change his tailor less often than he changes his wife. That said, Hunstman are a solid breed, as are Kilgour (if a little too contemporary for my excellent tastes). Where do you shoppe?
Re: a comment on The dancers by richa	11-Jan-07/8:01 AM
Alexander Horsfall_Turner. Left column, 8th picture down. Sadly the years have not been kind to his cheeks; they've lost much of their former lustre.
Re: a comment on The dancers by richa	11-Jan-07/7:52 AM
Don't know him.
Re: The dancers by richa	10-Jan-07/4:02 PM
A good try!
Re: Take that thing off your head by lukehanney	7-Jan-07/7:23 AM
Of course they banned veils in French schools. A silly law if you ask me, and one that betrays their fundamental misunderstanding of what separation of Church and State really means. I'm told they also banned the teaching of Religious Education. Again, a pitiful decision. They probably don't understand that Religious Education doesn't have to promote any particular religion, or even present arguments for or against religion. It merely instructs people on the belief sets of the major religions: valuable information for anyone wanting to avoid giving unnecessary offence. I hold a half-GCSE in Religious Education (grade B), and it has prevented many a faux pas in my time. The British RE half-GCSE can basically be summed up in three lines: Hindus believe in Hindu. Islams believe in Muslim. Christians are normal.
Re: stains by calliope	5-Jan-07/6:04 AM
Title reminds me of a classic verse from Kipling's "The Lesson": It was my fault, and my very great fault-- and now I must turn it to use. I have forty million reasons for failure, but not a single excuse. So the more I wipe and the less I stain the cleaner the pants I shall get-- I've had a lavatorial lesson; I may take off my diaper yet!
Re: a comment on Journey To The Centre Of The Loom by -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I.	28-Nov-06/2:42 AM
Twenty Thousand Looms Under the Sea
Re: a comment on Instruction by Dovina	26-Nov-06/5:16 PM
This isn't ConversationRanker. Get rid of it.
Re: Preserves for the basement (Poe Poetry) by Bachus	27-Aug-06/2:55 PM
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=8765027362024464164&;q=chris+morris
Re: a comment on A Poem For George Bush by Edna Sweetlove	24-Aug-06/2:52 PM
Clearly not content with mere plagiarism (having reproduced my comment without permission), you have taken it upon yourself to deliberately misrepresent my position by posting my remarks out of context. I have nothing to apologise for, least of all to you.
Re: a comment on A Poem For George Bush by Edna Sweetlove	14-Aug-06/4:56 PM
She isn't 'black' -- she's African American. You're just getting yourself into even more trouble by not offering a full retraction. We've had problems with racism on poemeranker before. Fortunately, after realising that they've been racist, previous offenders have apologised and revised their remarks accordingly. It would be helpful, not to say courteous, if you'd do the same. Thank you.
Re: a comment on Suicide Dream by Ranger	11-Aug-06/5:10 PM
Yeah poetry is all about thoughts, feelings, and emotions. Don't listen to Ranger -- he just doesn't realise that true poetry comes from the heart, and that there are no rules. Apart from the rule that it must rhyme, of course. I've always just gone on instinct over actual thought when it comes to writing. I guess I've always been something of a loose cannon. My friends call me Maverick because I work alone, and because my poetry makes them think of things to do with Mavericks. What do you write about?