Re: Middle-Aged White Woman by Dovina	10-Apr-05/9:28 PM
I like the subject matter, but I would re-do the ending, it seems a bit hurried.d
Re: The Little Merman by avery	20-Apr-05/12:14 PM
I really, really like this poem, although I can definitely see that you have too good of a vocabulary to be stuck with things like "Abyss" and the picture-kissed her part.
Re: Hamlet's Horniness by Sashaclese	20-Apr-05/12:16 PM
no
Re: The benefit of being realistic by Jeremi B. Handrinos	30-Apr-05/12:07 PM
what can I say? I'm a fan.
Re: Savor Your Tasteful, Tasteless Morsel by nothingtoanyone	3-May-05/6:18 AM
How is it that you can say something as eloquent as "pain be waiting at the end of my arm bearers knock" and start off with something as clunky and lame as "basically playing at the strings of me heart's true feelings." Do you see the difference? Take a deep breath and strive to be consistent.
Re: Actor by horus8	3-May-05/2:29 PM
By the end, I feel as though we've lost the original point. what is "fuck, a beard and a bow?" Is that the voice of the child, realizing the difficulty of pulling that off? And the story about the man...I guess I din't read that book...
Re: Ignorant Children by Stacy Stewart	3-May-05/2:29 PM
1. I don't understand your choice of link breaks, to me it reads very erratically. 2. You are trying to make a point, which you could do in something that was half as long. 3. Rather than just spout them off. Think about how your individual words sound. Think about making this a POEM. Not bad for a start, with some editing, I think you'd have something.
Re: Waffleman by Stephen Robins	3-May-05/2:29 PM
Again, I absolutely despise your work. And I know you'll take that as a compliment.
regarding some deleted poem...	8-May-05/10:12 AM
Love the use of rhyme with laughin and splashing. I like the latter half, and the beginning. THe middle falls short, I think, of the overall message.
Re: Spirit In a Temple by peaceseeker	10-May-05/9:01 PM
There are way too many intagible elements in here. I want something concrete, something that exists literally, to grab onto. More of the sweat and blood stuff, throughout.
Re: Homecoming by Dovina	12-May-05/8:07 PM
What I don't like about this poem is that it intentionally has me guessing as to what happens. If you don't want to tell us what happens, don't write a poem about it. REVEAL the truth, don't mask it.
Re: The Observer by Jeremi B. Handrinos	12-May-05/8:11 PM
Love "How far down the rabbit hole do I want to go?" that is a great line.
regarding some deleted poem...	14-May-05/5:36 PM
Although I am a little confused as to whose voice this is, I like this poem a lot. Big fan of the "o my god," its funny.