Re: a comment on Conflict Resolution by Dovina	21-Feb-06/4:17 PM
"Like blacksmith blows" Is that what you mean? And you have the audacity to ask for my hankerchief, just because you are a blacksmith about to blow?
Re: a comment on Conflict Resolution by Dovina	21-Feb-06/1:03 PM
Yes, that is useful. But actually, the anvil is a very bad idea, and I hereby renounce the thing. First, nobody pounds on an anvil with a hammer. They pound on something held against an anvil for support. Second, when I say “the anvil” then some specific anvil is implied, and it needs explaining. Third, if I say “like hammer blows on an anvil,” it sounds awful. Your interpretation of the anvil - her hard-shell of unconfidence, a thing that bounces the words back, deflected by her stubbornness – these are the kinds of things I meant. Now it reads: I wanted her to understand, but words only clanked like hammer blows.
Re: The chestnut by richa	20-Feb-06/5:22 PM
It seems like a sad condition - alone under a chestnut tree, drinking, watching an unobtainable girl. I would wager that most people are happier when they drive to work.
Re: a comment on A young Man’s Demise by Dovina	20-Feb-06/5:05 PM
The meaning I intended is the name of the white clothes worn by people who play bowls. “Lily-whites” is not the technical name, but a name (noun) that I chose (invented if you wish) with mild sarcastic intent. “Lily-white” is usually used as an adjective, so I can see how using it as a noun might confuse you; but “lily-whites” could hardly be an adjective. The punctuation, which you have added, does add clarity, but I find the sentence perfectly clear without it, assuming the reader knows what bowls is.
Re: a comment on Conflict Resolution by Dovina	20-Feb-06/3:15 PM
The garage door slamming down is a bit harsh. I’m afraid I slipped out of character for a moment and thought how men’s words sometimes slam down. No, Dovina, you’re a woman, speaking as a man, about a woman.
Re: a comment on Conflict Resolution by Dovina	20-Feb-06/3:09 PM
It’s good to see my subjects falling into line. “Queen Dovina” – Yes, it has a soothing ring.
Re: a comment on Conflict Resolution by Dovina	20-Feb-06/3:04 PM
Could the two of you stop arguing long enough to comment on my revisiion of verse 2 from: I wanted her to understand, but couldn't let her. to: I wanted her to understand, but words only clanked like hammer blows on the anvil.
Re: a comment on A young Man’s Demise by Dovina	20-Feb-06/2:53 PM
Thank you for admitting that you, an Englishman, know nothing about bowls, or lawn-bowling as we call it here, a game having roots in the Old Country where it is played by non-old people, though some of them are, as you say, weird. Of course you chose to mention only one definition of “lily-white,” the one that suits your attack on my parsable sentence. You ignored, “innocent and pure, unsullied - often used sarcastically” which is the meaning I intended.
Re: The Dead Poet's Dream by drnick	20-Feb-06/8:35 AM
Some good thoughts here, a collection of wannas. But I the ski analogy loses me. Misspelled words, but only in pretend - that line breaks an otherwise good flow.
Re: a comment on Conflict Resolution by Dovina	20-Feb-06/8:25 AM
It was good advice. Thanks.
Re: Conflict Resolution by Dovina	20-Feb-06/8:23 AM
My intent was to edit this, but I hit Delete by accident, thus losing all of the comments. It's an unpardonable sin, for which I wish there were recompense. Here are the comments, I think: Drnick: This is good, but I think you could have done better. For instance, lines 6 and 7 could have been worded in a not-so-obvious sort of way (ie "I wanted her to understand, but let mercy be my tounge instead"). The 3rd stanza is awesome, I wouldn't change that at all. The 4th, however, seems as though you rushed through it. The 3rd line in there seems rushed and too vague of an analogy; give us an example of purple night-lights. The 5th line in the 5th stanza should say "bit" not "bite" but I think you could have found a better analogy for that as well. Everything else seems to be in place, you just need to comb out a few of the knots. Ranger: 'She got to be her, and I didn't...' You seem a bit annoyed at the moment! Ecargo: The idea here is good, but some problems with execution, i.e., language/sense ("she bite like a dog," which I'm pretty sure is just a typo; "eyes fell sad, as if every meaning had"); cliches (lilt in voice, bounce in step); and troublesome metaphors (briars scratching at eardrums, etc.). Thank you all for commenting. These comments were useful.
Re: a comment on A young Man’s Demise by Dovina	19-Feb-06/8:19 PM
An ellipsoid is a solid formed by rotating an ellipse around its axis. The earth is an ellipsoid, eggs are not.
Re: a comment on To drnick by amanda_dcosta	19-Feb-06/8:07 PM
“When you pray . . . , what do you think happens?” I think that when I pray, I am addressing someone much wiser than I, much like a two-year-old cries out to her parent. Maybe she wants another cookie or to be picked up and held. The parent listens and sometimes yields to the cry, but a good parent will not always comply, and often says no. Only as I consider my prayers as simple begging to a higher mind do they make any sense. Frankly, I cannot find more changes that follow my prayers than I find from pure probability. But that does not stop me, because I believe God exists, and if the only advantage anyone gets as a result of my prayers is my own edification, then that is enough. And if I don’t gain any points toward going to heaven, that’s okay too.
Re: a comment on A young Man’s Demise by Dovina	19-Feb-06/7:28 PM
As any English gentleman would have immediately recognized, I was speaking of bowls, a game played on a smooth lawn with wooden balls, which are rolled to stop as near as possible to a target ball. The balls are ellipsoids (squashed black eggs), and the players wear white uniforms (lily-whites). An English gentleman would also know that an adjective cannot follow a preposition unless an noun follows the adjective. Furthermore, your extrapolation of an implied circle in my perfectly understandable sentence is absurd.
Re: Gunsong by MacFrantic	18-Feb-06/6:02 PM
I take it as a video game from Verse 3. "Doom" maybe. So much of it is lyrical, but without coherence, that I think it's a dream, or game, or drug trip.
Re: Stealth Assassin (draft) by Mona Lisa	18-Feb-06/5:54 PM
Terrible, in a dreadful way. I hate these codependence-poems of mixed love and abuse. For that reason, a 0. But because it's well-written a 7.
Re: You Sang To Me In A Cathedral Chamber by Ranger	18-Feb-06/5:50 PM
The spider gets a show and a point of view, sharing with us some nice lines. But most of the story is for tired children or drunk adults.
Re: a comment on A young Man’s Demise by Dovina	17-Feb-06/8:05 AM
Metaphorically and physically, I have a tennisball, a racketball, and a golfball. All they have is a squashed black egg which they stand around in lily-whites and tell each other how genteel they are.
Re: a comment on A young Man’s Demise by Dovina	16-Feb-06/7:45 PM
You surely believe that at least one thing is true. What is it?
Re: a comment on A young Man’s Demise by Dovina	16-Feb-06/7:43 PM
You could apply for membership in the gentlemen's Rutherford Club. I applied once and was kindly told that I don't meet the minimums.