Re: a comment on Sacrament by Dovina	15-Jul-04/7:32 PM
I presume you call it sick because it is based on the Scripture of the Last Supper as recorded in the four Gospels. Frankly, I worried that some people would see it as belittling those accounts. I hoped to show the woman’s personal understanding and connection with that event, and through her own suffering, how she came to understand the way He symbolized his to his friends. I was intentionally ambiguous, leaving room for several interpretations. You have seen and reacted to one of them. I hope it will not be the only one as you reread it and try to understand my position.
Re: Someday by moonlightdance	14-Jul-04/10:29 AM
Verses 1 and 2 good. Verse 3 weak. Verse 4 doesn't make sense.
Re: a comment on The Heaven lies by Prince of Void	14-Jul-04/10:25 AM
I disagree on both simplicity and beauty. All the "The"s and "And"s detract. "has been darkened" If heaven lies, then the poem should say why or how. Granted it implies some things, but is vague and scattered. Soem good thoughts, just needs organization.
Re: a comment on Wind by Dovina	13-Jul-04/1:59 PM
Thanks for your comments. I put the 'as's in the last two lines to show comparison rather than cause and effect, either way could work though. The first line switch might work, hmmmm.
Re: Drinking Knowledge by gregsamsa222	13-Jul-04/1:06 PM
Poetry takes vino, vinegar and caster oil.
Re: a comment on Wind by Dovina	13-Jul-04/11:50 AM
Driven against my will, In a lonesome Chevy, Searching, despairing, Tire tracks on the desert Tire tracks on the seashore, Surf beating uninhabited shore, Many voices under the hood, Heavy clouds, Cold as death, Promising as life. I aim to please
Re: a comment on A Girl’s Climax by Dovina	13-Jul-04/11:39 AM
True, but how do you show him who you are if he doesn't notice something first?
Re: a comment on A Girl’s Climax by Dovina	13-Jul-04/10:39 AM
Am I mistaken? Surely not lass?
Re: a comment on A Girl’s Climax by Dovina	13-Jul-04/9:57 AM
Thank you for clearing up the ambiguity people have noticed in this poem and for adding a delightful ending. It explains to anyone who might have been confused by my complex wording why “A Girls’ Climax” is achieved in being noticed by a fat, gay man, and why such a man noticed her.
Re: a comment on Zin/Enough/Things/Squeeze/Flow by gregsamsa222	12-Jul-04/4:58 PM
Good evening, Mr. Ghost of Dan.
Re: a comment on Zin/Enough/Things/Squeeze/Flow by gregsamsa222	12-Jul-04/2:57 PM
What happened to the comment by Dan garcia-Black and your response to it? I thought they were quite good.
Re: a comment on A Girl’s Climax by Dovina	12-Jul-04/12:07 PM
Oh, hurry on, lad, you can make it!
Re: a comment on Vows by QuirkyWonder	12-Jul-04/11:03 AM
I see a delightful comedy of ascending awareness in the three above comments, yours by far the best.
Re: Zin/Enough/Things/Squeeze/Flow by gregsamsa222	12-Jul-04/10:58 AM
The last section "Flow" is absolutely great. I wonder why you placed the three days after death in reverse order. They seem better chronologically. I see the year before death as good at the end though. Why the indented form on just one section? And the long lines in just one section? It seems better to hold the short-line form throughout. You will not receive the attention you deserve on poemranker with poems this long. The last section, in particular, could stand alone. "He clutched it by the throat,"
Re: Vows by QuirkyWonder	12-Jul-04/10:19 AM
The last three lines don't make sense. cliches abound. Try for originality.
Re: Zin/Enough/Things/Squeeze/Flow by gregsamsa222	12-Jul-04/10:17 AM
Too long, couldn't get through it, sorry
Re: a comment on A Girl’s Climax by Dovina	12-Jul-04/10:11 AM
Coupled up or not, letting yourself go is fun and worthwhile sometimes. Depends on what you want at the time and in the long run.
Re: a comment on Searching by dougsoderstrom	11-Jul-04/6:22 PM
In his effort to defend me, he simply wished to point out that I am a dunce of the second class, and that nobody is almighty enough to raise my rank any higher.
Re: a comment on Searching by dougsoderstrom	11-Jul-04/5:04 PM
I enjoy independence from religious sponsorship, and for that perhaps you envy me, perhaps not. It was nice talking. Thanks.
Re: a comment on Searching by dougsoderstrom	11-Jul-04/4:39 PM
To have the RIGHT answer to all of lif's questions is what I want. What I must be satisfied with in most cases is "to search in an absolutely honest (authentic) manner" for those answers. And the reason for my pathetic condition (which I mean honestly and without inentional insult)is that I envy your faith.