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Sacrament (Free verse) by Dovina On the night she was betrayed
She took bread and broke it
And said, this is my body
Broken by you.
And after pouring wine
She said, this is my blood
Spilled for the remission
Of your guilt.
As often as she does this
She does it
In remembrance of him.
Up the ladder:
The Perigenetic Prayer
Down the ladder:
Swoon
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 6.9
Posted: July 15, 2004 11:40 AM PDT; Last modified: July 15, 2004 11:40 AM PDTWeighted score: 5.95 Overall Rank: 1369 Comments:
[0]
electroman1979 @ 198.81.26.16
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15-Jul-04/5:40 PM
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what kind of sick poetry is this?
[n/a]
Dovina @ 24.52.157.176
> electroman1979
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15-Jul-04/7:32 PM
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I presume you call it sick because it is based on the Scripture of the Last Supper as recorded in the four Gospels. Frankly, I worried that some people would see it as belittling those accounts. I hoped to show the womanâs personal understanding and connection with that event, and through her own suffering, how she came to understand the way He symbolized his to his friends. I was intentionally ambiguous, leaving room for several interpretations. You have seen and reacted to one of them. I hope it will not be the only one as you reread it and try to understand my position.
[8]
wilco @ 66.162.22.123
> Dovina
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16-Jul-04/12:39 PM
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In my experience, Electroman1979 is ultra-fundamentalist Christian and therefore has no tolerance for that which he percieves to be blasphemous. He also has no room for other interpretations due to his unwavering devotion to his religion. I'm sure he's not a bad guy...just closed minded.
[n/a]
Dovina @ 24.52.157.176
> wilco
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16-Jul-04/1:16 PM
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Sort of what I thought. Maybe he'll read it again and find something besides blasphemy. Thanks for the info.
[n/a]
zodiac @ 212.118.2.83
> wilco
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17-Jul-04/8:36 AM
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I believe he thinks anything which is not intoned in a soporific semi-circular fashion with an appropriate mixture of silence, "Music provided by Youth Minister Dan", and hot humid air is blasphemous.
[n/a]
Dovina @ 24.52.157.176
> zodiac
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17-Jul-04/8:40 AM
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Not unlike a poem that expresses some real aspect of a person's understanding, but fails utterly in its use of literary references and the accepted poetic devices.
[n/a]
zodiac @ 217.23.37.85
> Dovina
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19-Jul-04/2:56 AM
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Wherever have you gotten the notion that everybody is going to attack a poem that 'fails utterly in its blah blah blah?' Since joining this site, you've gotten everything about poetry totally wrong. Aside from the vast majority of would-be poeticks who attack anything which isn't free-form and abstract to the point of utter meaninglessness, there is a small group of people bright or misguided enough to attack any poem which uses literary references and "accepted poetic devices" (whatever you mean by that) in an extraordinarily dim fashion. I am one of those people. I also often attack poems that make no sense, including almost every poemranker poem I've ever read.
[8]
wilco @ 66.162.22.123
> zodiac
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17-Jul-04/10:34 AM
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I've always wondered if those youth ministers are failed Catholic priests.
[n/a]
zodiac @ 217.23.37.85
> wilco
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19-Jul-04/2:57 AM
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Yes, we are.
Nice. not sure you need the first line of the last stanza. maybe add " always" after "She does it"
Thanks, and that would shorten it and make it more readable. I was holding to the tenor of the Bible text in order to show a relationship of pain and the way she symbolized hers with respect for His.
Seems like you sucked one poet into taking the position you sought-- Open fly hook with a plastic jesus hanging from a fishing line of gold nylon. Reel 'im in, Dovina. Flop him onto the deck and hit him on the head with a bowling pin. Then multiply him with your loaves. Ah men!
When coupled with your 10-vote, this comment is very funny and compassionate, perhaps made by one who might be taking a little bread and wine as we speak.
You just gave me an idea. Broken bread and spilt wine as a metaphor for a woman's deflowering.
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