The Heaven lies

Member since 2002 · Posted 14 Jul 2004 · 3 comments

The Heaven lies The silence wraps my tears The light raps my fears The soul flies The mind tries the ultimate trip in the skies The dream seems The death opens the door The door of dooms The thought conquers The illusion waves And it says... Beyond The void deepens The space spreads Into the creation creates And evolution forms The face of future The horror of wars The sorrow of the despairing child And the heart in the heartless world And the abomination stays Makes emptiness emptier The hopeless eyes stare at the days So fast they passed For only one moment To know the truth The truthâ¦has been darken In the absence of the world

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mean 5.33 weighted 5.04 rank 7157 views 252 View voting details →

3 votes so far. Yours would make 4.3 votes so far

3 comments

[n/a] Prince of Void 14-Jul-04/2:50 AM Reply

The simplicity creates its own beauty

[6] Dovina › Prince of Void 14-Jul-04/10:25 AM Reply

I disagree on both simplicity and beauty. All the "The"s and "And"s detract. "has been darkened" If heaven lies, then the poem should say why or how. Granted it implies some things, but is vague and scattered. Soem good thoughts, just needs organization.

[n/a] ?-Dave_Mysterious-? › Prince of Void 14-Jul-04/4:06 PM Reply

That doesn't even mean anything.