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The Heaven lies (Free verse) by Prince of Void The Heaven lies
The silence wraps my tears
The light raps my fears
The soul flies
The mind tries the ultimate trip in the skies
The dream seems
The death opens the door
The door of dooms
The thought conquers
The illusion waves
And it says... Beyond
The void deepens
The space spreads
Into the creation creates
And evolution forms
The face of future
The horror of wars
The sorrow of the despairing child
And the heart in the heartless world
And the abomination stays
Makes emptiness emptier
The hopeless eyes stare at the days
So fast they passed
For only one moment
To know the truth
The truthâ¦has been darken
In the absence of the world
Up the ladder:
A Fine Thread
Down the ladder:
elegy
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 5.3333335
Posted: July 14, 2004 2:48 AM PDT; Last modified: July 14, 2004 2:48 AM PDTWeighted score: 5.0397344 Overall Rank: 7162 Comments:
[n/a]
Prince of Void @ 217.66.199.251
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14-Jul-04/2:50 AM
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Reply
The simplicity creates its own beauty
[6]
Dovina @ 17.255.240.138
> Prince of Void
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14-Jul-04/10:25 AM
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Reply
I disagree on both simplicity and beauty. All the "The"s and "And"s detract. "has been darkened" If heaven lies, then the poem should say why or how. Granted it implies some things, but is vague and scattered. Soem good thoughts, just needs organization.
[n/a]
?-Dave_Mysterious-? @ 80.42.123.196
> Prince of Void
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14-Jul-04/4:06 PM
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Reply
That doesn't even mean anything.
252 view(s)
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