Re: For being shaken out of Bad Thoughts. by fevriere	6-Jan-05/7:52 AM
A fine comparison if you can know about afterlife (stars). The clockwork nature of sunsets (death) seems and the certainty of night seems stretched. Still a good poem.
regarding some deleted poem...	6-Jan-05/4:34 PM
A hen was picking at a stack of pea-straw when a pea fell on her head, and she thought the sky was falling. Henny Penny was right for all her perception. Bewildered by a falling pea, she cried and cried, despite all their objections, not knowing she was merely bumping a mountain of a vine.
Re: Affairs by Stacy Stewart	6-Jan-05/4:40 PM
"embers softly spoken"??? "Tis love is . . . "???? The rest of this sentence is a lumbering flourish. The conclusion "Tis the downfall of man." is not supported or led up to.
Re: Nightmares Of Yesterday by Zalev	6-Jan-05/5:12 PM
A worthy story, lacking interest because it's too directly told.
Re: Fanboy by Blindpoetry	7-Jan-05/6:44 AM
Comma after Traveling?
Re: Let God Unwrite Itself by daggatolar	7-Jan-05/6:50 AM
A good start, using rite, but at the end where you change to "write" I lost the thing that seemed well staged - that we can rite out God. You seem to introduce the notion that god was written and can be unwritten too near to the end.
Re: Tough Act To Follow by jroday	8-Jan-05/8:30 AM
"Love" means many things in English. I wish we had all the Greek words with their different meanings for what we lump into "love." "Agape" comes close to your poem. Some folks are hard to love by any definition.
Re: The Mighty Brahmaputra by Bhaskaryya	8-Jan-05/9:08 AM
I think you sacrifice too much for the rhymes - grammar, clarity, even interest.
regarding some deleted poem...	8-Jan-05/9:21 AM
Better grammar would help, even where you insert a word for rhythm's sake.
Re: You have 7 hours to live... now here's the bad news by D. $ Fontera	8-Jan-05/9:25 AM
If it's about telemarketing, the title should give some hint. It seems like you're talking about several things at once.
regarding some deleted poem...	11-Jan-05/7:44 AM
Welcome back, though you never answered my question. Is this about Tolstoy's Crosacks? My Russian is rusty if ever lusty, and what is a Joan with a rack?
Re: The Poet's Plight by dougsoderstrom	11-Jan-05/7:49 AM
You've make a pretty good shot at poetic rhythm here. "Hidden, yet for the world to see" is a good line because it's a prospect to keep one going.
regarding some deleted poem...	12-Jan-05/9:58 PM
Let's hope they give rise to more, that these fertilize, and that the time to rest is far away.
Re: Nectar of Infinity by MacFrantic	12-Jan-05/10:05 PM
It flows nicely and contains some awsome images, but altogether, it lacks motive and is too broad. It fails to pinpoint any real life issue.
Re: The Unsung Hero by Bhaskaryya	12-Jan-05/10:13 PM
A good flow and a good point.
regarding some deleted poem...	13-Jan-05/2:24 PM
If you are reading this You have discovered That your choice To put these words Before the masses Has wrought a smiling ear. These words look back within me.
regarding some deleted poem...	13-Jan-05/2:31 PM
A gardener to boot, are you? Magnolia leaves and book leaves works well. But why the huge tree and not the humble tomato or squash?
regarding some deleted poem...	13-Jan-05/2:38 PM
You said recently that you're leaning away from punctuation in favor of humble line ends. My god, sir, has it worked out that badly? Can we have no middle ground? I have to imagine this in your usual style to appreciate its delicacy, which is there, but all splattered like a car driving by La Conchita, California.
Re: Can't Fight No More by jroday	13-Jan-05/2:48 PM
I can't say it any better than: http://poemranker.com/poem-details.jsp?id=118322 If you're reading these words, you know you are appreciated by at least one, and I'll bet a year's longevity the Mrs. jroday would say the same.
regarding some deleted poem...	15-Jan-05/2:09 PM
Line 4 is too boring. Subtlety in foreshadowing.