DetailsThe poem, its numbers, and the conversation.

Affairs

Member since 2004 · Posted 6 Jan 2005 · Edited 6 Jan 2005 · 5 comments

The candles weren't lit the wine sat untouched the embers softly spoken. For love is not the picturesque compassion we think of; uttering the words of complete chaos that ignites unholy thoughts, unveiling inner desires kept dormant in our sleep. Dreaming of worlds where the candles are lit and roses mean something to us. For this is the downfall of man. And the wine glass was lifted.

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5 comments

[6] horus8 6-Jan-05/1:36 PM Reply

Should start every line with 'tis'
And just put this poem entirely out
of it's misery instead of dicking around.

[5] Dovina 6-Jan-05/4:40 PM Reply

"embers softly spoken"???
"Tis love is . . . "???? The rest of this sentence is a lumbering flourish.
The conclusion "Tis the downfall of man." is not supported or led up to.

[n/a] Stacy Stewart › Dovina 6-Jan-05/7:17 PM Reply

"tis" has been edited since it was the wrong word to use i suppose. But embers sofly spoken is correct.....what are embers but burning pieces of wood...what noice do they make...crakling. Instead of saying crackling i used softly spoken.

For the downfall of man, the whole poem leads up to this, for the poem itself is talking about love....and with love that is not "perfect" you have an affair....for that is where the downfall part came in.

Did this clear things up a bit?

[5] Dovina › Stacy Stewart 6-Jan-05/7:26 PM Reply

"embers softly speaking" then.
It was clear what you meant by downfall, just not clearly shown. Is an affair really a downfall? If so, how or why, or what emotions lead to that conclusion?

[n/a] Stacy Stewart › Dovina 6-Jan-05/11:03 PM Reply

what is our world with out love and compassion? So w/ that being said when you find that one somebody and then they betray you we are back at square one again.... This is why I wrote the words downfall to man. As for the emotion leading up to this:
"utteringthe words of complete chaos (I LOVE YOU) that
ignites unholy thoughts (thinking of the other person), unveiling
inner desires kept dormant in
our sleep. Dreaming of worlds
where the candles are lit and
roses mean something to us." ( dreaming of being w/ the other person) for now the love is not drawn towards the partner but drawn towards the other person...