Re: Intense Irrational Realities by Venus	22-Aug-02/2:02 AM
This is erotic as hell. You're a sly one, Venus. I like it.
Re: Jericho by goldfish	22-Aug-02/2:08 AM
This is a very traditional poem on a very traditional subject. That said, the rhyming is really good - totally unforced, especially in the stanza discussing the marble and the rose - and the metre is flawlessy adhered to. I'm not so sure about the syntactical inversion ''Tis fair to in a brothel hide' though.It's 1798 all over again....
Re: Dear Ms. Sexton by <{Baba^Yaga}>	22-Aug-02/2:27 AM
So it is song lyrics? Well funny. I read that, I hear the rhythms, I hear the 'crash,boom,bam', the carnivals and lemonades and Doctors and it all sounds in my head like Tom Waits. It would be interesting to hear you actually sing it to pick up on the Buckley and Cohen slant.
Re: would i be considered crazy by silvertongueddevil	22-Aug-02/2:32 AM
Sorry guys, i don't know why my computer sent that four times....
Re: The Precious Thing by -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I.	22-Aug-02/2:46 AM
Bizarrely, I find this quite moving as well as funny.
regarding some deleted poem...	22-Aug-02/2:58 AM
Oh yes, a witty joke. Except were the fingers rotten as soon as they were severed by the lathe, or rotten beforehand? And how fragile is the earth round your way that it can be broken by a couple of falling digits? Details matter in the haiku form.
Re: Sunshine by alexander	22-Aug-02/3:28 AM
That's a very sanguine/innocent response to having your roof blown off - I like it.
regarding some deleted poem...	22-Aug-02/3:43 AM
Well, exactly....Life is so conditional
regarding some deleted poem...	22-Aug-02/3:53 AM
This stream of consciousness really works here - full of freaks indeed. This works beyond rationality. Spook.
regarding some deleted poem...	22-Aug-02/4:03 AM
I like this, again your rhythms really give pace to your images and ideas, but I agree about the 'river called emotion' - I don't think you need to spell it out
Re: Sleepy Geek by razorgrin	22-Aug-02/4:06 AM
This is very funny. I know exactly how you feel. We obviously have the same neighbours.
regarding some deleted poem...	22-Aug-02/4:18 AM
Never mind God - his wife obviously has things sewn up. I like the idea of the birth/death cycle that runs through these - there must be room for Gaia as well?
regarding some deleted poem...	22-Aug-02/5:28 AM
Now I understand, this makes sense. Need to brush up on my Latin! Still does nothing for me though, sorry.
Re: Tennesee Waterfall by razorgrin	22-Aug-02/6:30 AM
You are the mistress of the humorous haiku.
Re: Untitled by unknown	22-Aug-02/6:34 AM
All your poems are on the same subject, using the same imagery and following the same present-tense progressionless structure. Try something different!
regarding some deleted poem...	22-Aug-02/6:38 AM
Stark and bleak and simple - very pwerful indeed. Perhaps lose the first two lines? Because lines 3-4 have a human power your more abstract first two lines lack.
Re: Tennesee Waterfall by razorgrin	22-Aug-02/7:10 AM
Hey, you've got me to thank for getting you on the 15 best poems list!
Re: Salt by <~>	22-Aug-02/7:52 AM
Remind me not to get on your bad side. This is great and full of venom.
Re: drum circle by <~>	22-Aug-02/7:55 AM
I also wonder if this is a bit ragged around the edges, but the concrete section in the middle is beuatifully handled.
regarding some deleted poem...	22-Aug-02/7:57 AM
The rhythms of this are very uncertain. 'Warry' = 'weary'? And coworkers just doesn't work, I'm afraid.