Re: A-looky here. by malpaso	malpaso 70.233.136.151	27-Nov-07/3:27 PM
pov stands for point of view, skamper.
Re: a comment on The Dung Beetles by Pappa	Pappa 81.102.27.47	27-Nov-07/9:58 AM
Not a lot have been written in the English language, but you'll find a few via: http://www.google.com/search?q=english+englyn Thanks for the comments too. There is a problem with the last line, but I'm not too sure how to change it. Pappa
Re: Before Dawn by Christof	INTRANSIT 69.23.157.197	27-Nov-07/9:33 AM
Klaxon. Great word. Could you say- boy or girl in roiling- ? Or is this a specific person. You?
Re: a comment on Missing - You by Skamper	INTRANSIT 69.23.157.197	27-Nov-07/7:40 AM
allow me to continue being nitty. -and- closing of the door? I'm only trying to find ways to improve this- if that is even possible. I think it pretty much does what it's supposed to.
Re: Trapped in a horseshoe by INTRANSIT	Christof 62.121.23.56	27-Nov-07/6:18 AM
No smoothing! I like this with its internal rhymes, the tripping rhythm, the abrupt caesurae. Stops you getting too comfortable, just like the barmaid.
Re: a comment on Missing - You by Skamper	Skamper 58.171.192.232	26-Nov-07/10:37 PM
ah! that's because you would need to look at typo.com no matter how many times you read and re-read to make sure its all OK, sometimes a typo so obvious just fails to be noticed. Must be the mind telling the eye it's wrong...many thanks.
Re: Missing - You by Skamper	INTRANSIT 69.23.157.197	26-Nov-07/6:17 PM
Line 9. sectet? dic.com couldn't find it.
Re: a comment on In the berth by INTRANSIT	Skamper 58.171.134.111	26-Nov-07/6:16 PM
the 'cat' gives a two fold image...you need to keep that in. I like the image... :) Not usually a favourite of mine - the 'sound effects' but you played it well
Re: Trapped in a horseshoe by INTRANSIT	Skamper 58.171.214.114	26-Nov-07/6:10 PM
Nicely portrayed - the one-way relationship, never to be relayed any other way.
Re: Stringed by thetrev	Skamper 58.171.192.205	26-Nov-07/5:49 PM
OH! this is weird, I like what each line and verse is saying but find the overall connection escaping me.
Re: The Dung Beetles by Pappa	Skamper 58.171.149.129	26-Nov-07/5:45 PM
this is too complicated for me - the structure I can't even begin to appreciate, but the lesson in nature could do with something...not sure what that could be but the last line seems text bookish, rather than poetic... can you show me where i might find other Englyn?
Re: Heroes to the End by sliver	Skamper 58.171.184.153	26-Nov-07/5:40 PM
line 4 - vowed to see its' end, and took vows to see its' end, and vowed to see it's end..'it' and 'it's' is a little too much line 5 - drop the red, blood holds the colour you need Very poignant :)
Re: Again with the venting by hobojo	Skamper 58.171.170.196	26-Nov-07/5:28 PM
I do love a good vent/rant...whether at a person or an ideal stage we strive to achieve... and I do like this there are a few places I would tighten up a little, give more oomph to the structure. for instance... I used to think life would make sense - one day all my efforts would pay off and all my terror - end and I'd coast for a little while I thought, if I kept fighting kept holding on I would make it that I would leave it all behind
Re: a comment on AKA Poets by Skamper	Skamper 58.171.224.220	26-Nov-07/5:16 PM
I know - he's a clever bugger... I spent hours and hours reading An Absolutely Ordinary Rainbow. Not heard of Ted Kooser...another one for google...thanks. :)
Re: a comment on A Cyclamatic Word of Advice by Skamper	Skamper 58.171.177.185	26-Nov-07/5:12 PM
lol...stay well clear when the signs present... I think this is a US site, not sure tho
Re: a comment on A Cyclamatic Word of Advice by Skamper	Skamper 58.171.208.36	26-Nov-07/5:10 PM
thanks Paul - I have been toying with writing something like this for a while
Re: a comment on A Cyclamatic Word of Advice by Skamper	Skamper 58.171.191.64	26-Nov-07/5:08 PM
point me in the direction - or repost, would like to read that.
Re: In the berth by INTRANSIT	INTRANSIT 69.23.157.197	25-Nov-07/11:25 AM
In another edit I've condensed the opener into two lines, and the closer into two lines. Also contemplating replacing -cat- with -engine.
Re: a comment on The Dung Beetles by Pappa	Pappa 81.102.27.47	23-Nov-07/2:30 PM
It's complicated, but imagine a haiku with the additional constraints of rhyme (7th, 8th or 9th syllable of the 1st line rhyming with the last syllables of the 2nd and 3rd lines). Plus various types of consonant or vowel harmonies (repeating patterns of consonants, vowels and rhymes) within each line. This second aspect is called cynghanedd, and the poem contains three forms of cynghanedd; cynghanedd sain on line 1, cynghanedd lusg on line 2 and cynghanedd draws on line 3. Aside from the strict technical aspects, the poem is meant as a direct appreciation of nature, intentionally using an unusual subject (dung beetles) which are not normally seen as things of beauty or wonder. Pappa ps. Thanks for the welcome.
Re: Stringed by thetrev	INTRANSIT 69.23.157.197	23-Nov-07/12:58 PM
Bizarrly good.