Re: a comment on Returning by Dovina	Prince of Void 62.220.96.237	10-May-05/9:33 PM
may i have returned for thounsands time may i have knocked the door of ageless heaven for thounsands may i have kissed the princess in the dark gothic castle may i have reached enlightenment for once i have heared the name may i have known you may i have been in othersied and opened the secert of creation all these" mays " will be expreinced soon and return to this time that i cant be sure of those "mays" finaly when will i return to myself ...myself i mean the love this is my ultimate returnig ..returning to the love
Re: a comment on The Instructor by Alizarin_Crimson	Prince of Void 62.220.96.234	10-May-05/9:03 PM
yeah it's really good to read ur poem .. the nice impact of senses into the spirit of colors it made the crimson ocean into the crimson iris of an artist this is a poem seized colors in the frames of words
Re: Spirit In a Temple by peaceseeker	Alizarin_Crimson 24.250.22.18	10-May-05/9:01 PM
There are way too many intagible elements in here. I want something concrete, something that exists literally, to grab onto. More of the sweat and blood stuff, throughout.
Re: Mid Years by Dovina	some deleted user 81.69.23.196	10-May-05/7:01 PM
...and it's coming closer as we say, every day but never believe...
Re: a 9,000.00$ Philippine script treatment by Shardik	DarkThirteens 68.184.162.14	10-May-05/6:58 PM
Is this a poem??
Re: a comment on May Flowers by oneglove	Dovina 69.175.32.185	10-May-05/5:59 PM
I'm sure the person you wrote it to understood it that way.
Re: My Life by sleeping monk	Dovina 69.175.32.185	10-May-05/5:33 PM
I don't think of my life in the comfortable times between being awake.
Re: Zin/Enough/Things/Squeeze/Flow by gregsamsa222	oneglove 67.96.13.98	10-May-05/5:05 PM
this story really drew me in, though like youve said there are parts that could use revision. i understand though, sometimes its more important just to get it all down than to perfect each phrase.
Re: a comment on the victory by oneglove	oneglove 67.96.13.98	10-May-05/3:49 PM
agreed
Re: a comment on Go now if you want it. by Fayt	some deleted user 81.69.23.196	10-May-05/2:32 PM
...me and my big mouth...
Re: a comment on May Flowers by oneglove	oneglove 67.96.13.98	10-May-05/2:31 PM
it's about reflecting in a car during a storm about a relationship. the rain falling on the windshield distorting whats outside parallels feeling confused about the relationship but as the wipers clear the rain there is a moment where things make sense. the poem ends with the realization that though times are hard the end result will be worth it. the title comes from the saying "april showers bring may flowers". the knowledge that after the storms of the relationship something beutiful can emerge.
Re: a comment on Go now if you want it. by Fayt	some deleted user 81.69.23.196	10-May-05/2:31 PM
I have no improvements in mind, it's just that I have learned that when you use a word or a conception, a notion more than once, it's better to look for synonyms. Now here the repetition of 'otherland' is functional, don't change those lines, but in your other poem the many 'darknesses' irred me. An alternative? Hm, er, well, er, 'Blackness'? 'Nothingness'? 'That place where they shot the moon and the stars out of the sky'?...
Re: May Flowers by oneglove	Dovina 69.175.32.185	10-May-05/1:37 PM
Is it about some May flowers visible in the neon lights at night, and worth the drive?
Re: Anniversary by Hallmark	Dovina 69.175.32.185	10-May-05/1:24 PM
This is very funny. It may not sell many cards, but it's good.
Re: Lake Michigan by jessicazee	Dovina 69.175.32.185	10-May-05/1:16 PM
I don't see how the weatherman forces you to trust. It's all about probabilities. Also, Doppler is a short-time-range tool and does little to predict "rain all week." "gladdened cancer tales" is good.
Re: The cry of the Locust by nothingtoanyone	Dovina 69.175.32.185	10-May-05/12:59 PM
Overwritten for what it says. Why introduce the King James English? The last line is good.
Re: Dying breed by INTRANSIT	Dovina 69.175.32.185	10-May-05/12:06 PM
Either everyone is misinterpreting this or I am. We have here, as I see it, a political statement in favor of truck drivers with some poetry added, and pretty good poetry to boot. I think you could lose the last two lines.
Re: Finding Gin and Santa by richa	Dovina 69.175.32.185	10-May-05/11:47 AM
Funny, mocking the séance, but not to some.
Re: The cry of the Locust by nothingtoanyone	Jeremi B. Handrinos 24.130.62.63	10-May-05/11:29 AM
I once struck down upon my vagina with the furry of cotex, staunching the vile bile that creepeth forth. thank god my clitoris was wearing a helmet.
Re: a comment on Old Friend by Dovina	Dovina 69.175.32.185	10-May-05/10:49 AM
It was sad for Bob when his pet, Baby Dumpling, was dying of congestive heart disease. As I watched them together near the end, it seemed that it was not sad for Baby Dumpling. The dog seemed happy for an extra measure of attention.