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the victory (Free verse) by oneglove
this knotted tree once flowered and green now cut down and cut up then whitled into boards lashed together and raised up high a pillar of anguish a monument of pain but this instrument of death has brought me life and its crimson stains wash white as snow though mourners wail and don black veils i weep with joy for my Christ has conquered the grave a tree delivered me over to hades now a tree has released me from my bondage

Up the ladder: Unfinished
Down the ladder: elegy

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Arithmetic Mean: 5.3333335
Weighted score: 5.0397344
Overall Rank: 7135
Posted: October 19, 2004 4:54 PM PDT; Last modified: October 19, 2004 4:54 PM PDT
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Comments:
[8] Dovina @ 24.52.156.155 | 19-Oct-04/5:19 PM | Reply
I wonder why you break rhythm in the last three lines.

I weep with joy
for Christ has conquered

As a tree delivered
Him to hades
now a tree releases
me from bondage

Just a thought.
[8] tadpole @ 24.55.116.186 | 23-Mar-05/7:00 PM | Reply
love the topic but I've seen your other poems and I bet you could make it flow a lot better
[n/a] oneglove @ 67.96.13.98 > tadpole | 10-May-05/3:49 PM | Reply
agreed
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