Re: Impeccable mess by sk8rs_rule_all	lil_evil_boi 70.68.76.244	15-Jun-05/4:39 PM
Hmm...quite a lengthy poem there. It's like a short stroy. O well...I guess different poets have their unique ways to present their poems. And apparently your one of them. Perhaps try putting this "paragraph-like" poem into individual sentences? Maybe that'll make it more appealing and facinating. Just a suggestion. -6-
Re: Between the Edges by woodstock20000	Bankrupt_Word_Clerk 69.231.20.63	15-Jun-05/2:49 PM
loving/hating -- wonderful/wrenching. I tend to use this type of dissonance too much in what I write about love.
Re: One Moment to the Other (v3) by nentwined	Shuushin 147.154.235.51	15-Jun-05/2:02 PM
Very, very nice. I'd like to see a span of beats, maybe 3 before that last word -
Re: Students by Blue Magpie	woodstock20000 209.40.29.18	15-Jun-05/12:12 PM
Coming from the viewpoint of a teacher's assistant, I found it wonderful. *smile*
Re: quick by <~>	Caducus 172.202.251.107	15-Jun-05/5:03 AM
hey zzinnia long time huh? I think I get this but 'deepening february afternoon'? If I'm right on my interpretation that line don't sit well. The last 3 lines could verge into a senryu - mixed on this one but I'm gaga for an explanation.
Re: A Hallmark Card for You (With Love) by Bluemonkey	Caducus 172.202.251.107	15-Jun-05/4:58 AM
:+)
Re: MTV's The Real World: Poemranker by Bluemonkey	Caducus 172.202.251.107	15-Jun-05/4:56 AM
Apparently my earlier work inspired the 'pimple' Shhhhh. Cutting and true though. (dont faint i commented lol)
Re: Swoon by Dovina	Caducus 172.202.251.107	15-Jun-05/4:54 AM
Playful with some well used images. Line 4 is perfect as it multiplies. You could explore and highlight femininity more - you do it well. The opening 6 or so lines are very good.
Re: Unclean by Dovina	Caducus 172.202.251.107	15-Jun-05/4:50 AM
'injury as a robbers act' is the seminal line. I dont think the viewpoint in this is incendiary but quite considerate and weighted. You could tighten it up a bit and it would hit harder as a result. Overall pfg.
Re: a comment on I want you by nicole081083	zodiac 212.118.19.246	15-Jun-05/4:30 AM
As a matter of course and for obvious reasons, reputable (ie, you'd put them on your resume) poetry contests and journals have shunned online advertising and submissions. Of course, I love poemranker and a few other online poetry places dearly, but I use my paper, 5-pound 2005 Poets' Market for everything involving professional direction. If you don't have one (and if you take poetry anywhere near seriously - which I don't recommend,) get one.
Re: a comment on -750,000 in Rwanda by ALChemy	zodiac 212.118.19.246	15-Jun-05/4:11 AM
You seem to be under the impression that to make a poem affecting, you just need to write about something terrible and affecting. Or, at least, you seem to think that if you read a poem about, oh, the Challenger explosion and aren't moved, it's because you're just insensate to the tragedy of poor Christie McAuliffe thinking she's just getting this free ride into space and then all of a sudden she's a gas drifting slowly down into the open mouth of some giant Atlantic carp. In other words, you're not getting it at all. In other words, the following poem should be the most moving you've ever read: "ON CRUSHING THE HEADS OF KITTENS INTO THE MOUTHS OF STARVING ORPHANS ....Splat! .....Ummmm...." All the rest of your so-called points (not in the poem, you ninny, in your comment immediately above this one) are barely worth discussing. Here's the short version: 1) Nobody's saying they only want to feel sorry for one family or ignore the scope of the tragedy and everything. But also nobody's managing to incorporate their own experiences or do put themselves in the place, or anything else to get a leg up on this poem. And why should they (your customers, as it were,) be required to do all this work anyway? Surely it's worth having people read your poem to put a little bit more effort into it yourself and make it effective on its own? 2) As far as "this poem is written by me for me" goes - well, that's poemranker's commonest lie. Notice you're posting these poems on POEMRANKER and asking (if only by implication) for people to read them and give their opinions. 3) Try to imagine you've never heard of Rwanda or Tutsis or anything else. Actually, I'll make it easier: "Tlatelolco (free verse) by zodiac After they bazooka'ed the residencia we all turned out in the big Plaza of Three Cultures in Mexico City to agitate. The guardia civil was wearing white gloves to identify themselves. Afterwards, we rode trains out to the ocean." Well? Moved? No, because you don't know or remember what happened at Tlatelolco just before the 68(?) Olympic Games there. What if I told you over three thousand were killed and taken in freight cars and helicopters to the ocean, and that parents still alive in Mexico don't know if their children died that night? If you feel something now, it's from the event, not the poem. If you don't feel something, it's because it's simply not a good poem. You see how that works? Don't you think it was my responsibility as writer to make the poem moving or carry the feeling of Tlatelolco even for people who didn't know about (or appreciate) the actual event? No? Then sorry, there's nothing I can do to help you.
Re: a comment on I want you by nicole081083	some deleted user 81.69.23.196	15-Jun-05/4:02 AM
Did you know that almost all Poetry Contests on Internet ban you from participation if you're over 25? In all probability, above poem is taken quite serious.
Re: a comment on -750,000 in Rwanda by ALChemy	zodiac 212.118.19.246	15-Jun-05/3:48 AM
What does that have to do with anything?
Re: a comment on I want you by nicole081083	zodiac 212.118.19.246	15-Jun-05/3:45 AM
A poem which has received fewer (or no) votes will show up more often in the random circulation, which is what you get when you type poemranker.com into your web browser. That accounts for most of this post's hits. Which is rather like taking your date to a bar and vomiting before you even get to any stimulating conversation.
Re: a comment on Unclean by Dovina	zodiac 212.118.19.246	15-Jun-05/3:42 AM
We've already established on another post that this poem is about Arab Muslims.
Re: a comment on Unclean by Dovina	zodiac 212.118.19.246	15-Jun-05/3:40 AM
I'm curious: Why do you think this poem is as intolerant as Jew-hating? Because it presents some Muslims in an unflattering light, with the suggestion it's more than a few isolated Muslims she's talking about? And because that's what Jew-haters try to do with Jews? Let me try to set your mind at ease: If Dovina's poem is a little, um, inaccurate or ignorant in parts, the concern of the raped woman is a real and widespread in the Middle East. Actually, I happen to be sitting in an internet cafe in the Kingdom of Jordan and there's a woman using the computer next to me. Let me ask her. zodiac: If you were raped would you be afraid of some terrible repercussion from your husband, presumably a devout Muslim? Nameless Muslim Woman: Oh yes, definitely. So there you have it. Dovina's just told the semi-truth about a bad aspect of the Arabic world. If she hasn't included a lot of the good stuff about it, so what, and she probably doesn't hear a lot about that part. Neither have you, for that matter. And I notice you're not criticizing a lot of poems that point out America's bad aspects. It seems like you're suggesting any poem that doesn't point out an equal number of good and bad aspects of something is as intolerant as Jew-hating. Is that really what you want to say? PS-About Jew-hating. Jews are, naturally, hated by practically everyone in this country. But then, Jews did simply take an entire, incredibly-useful piece of land that belong to Arabs, displacing its Muslim residents, and, ever since, regularly reneging on promises they've made to Arabic countries, like removing their hundreds of settlements from the sliver of land left to Palestinians - a sliver of land legally owned and occupied by Arabs since antiquity. Or, like the treaty promising Jordan water from Israel's three (and soon to be six) dams on the Jordan River, in exchange for the devastation wrought in Jordan by the River's decreased flow. Anyway, would you say this hatred is, um, intolerant?
Re: a comment on quick by <~>	zodiac 212.118.19.246	15-Jun-05/3:20 AM
You were given an easy list. When I tried, one of my words was "stereo" and the other "abbreviate".
Re: A Hallmark Card for You (With Love) by Bluemonkey	al-naafiysh 204.215.33.8	15-Jun-05/2:59 AM
I would love to send a lot of people a card like that.
Re: a comment on Unclean by Dovina	al-naafiysh 204.215.33.8	15-Jun-05/2:52 AM
Some Black's believe in Mohammed they call themself's Muslim's. White's also and many more races.
Re: a comment on Mr. Campbell's final journey by jroday	al-naafiysh 204.215.33.8	15-Jun-05/2:38 AM
I agree with you on that, he should have waited before he post it.