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I want you (Free verse) by nicole081083 I want you
You want him
I don't know what to do
I'm going crazy within
I want to taste those beautiful lips
To feel them pressed gently upon mine
And the touch of your fingertips
Sends chills up and down my spine
He has your kiss
He's had it from the start
But I'm sure he wouldn't miss
Your qualities that stole my heart
But you belong to him
As we all know
There's no way I can win
So I have to let go
Up the ladder:
........
Down the ladder:
Contemplation
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 4.0
Posted: June 12, 2005 2:24 PM PDT; Last modified: March 25, 2009 6:28 PM PDTWeighted score: 4.9525743 Overall Rank: 8781 Comments:
[n/a]
Blue Magpie @ 212.205.251.69
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12-Jun-05/11:11 PM
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Reply
While you may be feeling this very strongly, there is little in it that a reader can enjoy, as far as poetry is concerned.
Amazing that a poem titled 'I want you' generates 13 hits within six hour. I clearly gave mine the wrong title and failed miserably on 'recognisability' as well..
A poem which has received fewer (or no) votes will show up more often in the random circulation, which is what you get when you type poemranker.com into your web browser. That accounts for most of this post's hits.
Which is rather like taking your date to a bar and vomiting before you even get to any stimulating conversation.
Did you know that almost all Poetry Contests on Internet ban you from participation if you're over 25? In all probability, above poem is taken quite serious.
As a matter of course and for obvious reasons, reputable (ie, you'd put them on your resume) poetry contests and journals have shunned online advertising and submissions. Of course, I love poemranker and a few other online poetry places dearly, but I use my paper, 5-pound 2005 Poets' Market for everything involving professional direction. If you don't have one (and if you take poetry anywhere near seriously - which I don't recommend,) get one.
It's a title that anyone and everyone can identify with, n'est-ce pas?
Write this from the point of view of a Rwandan refugee and you've got something.
it's not so terrible, has a good ring when read aloud. gets mundane in the middle and not as good in the end. the beginning is good. don't listen to those jerks. what may help also, right in a code,images. say the person has blue eyes, you could write
"lovely blue jay you flew away before you even landed you left my branches bare i tried to catch you but you're too cunning emptiness makes my heart tare" just a suggestion helps make the poem reading and writing more fun and interesting.
I fully expect to hear this lyric attached to a Miley Cyrus song soon. I don't mean this as a compliment.
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