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I want you (Free verse) by nicole081083

I want you You want him I don't know what to do I'm going crazy within I want to taste those beautiful lips To feel them pressed gently upon mine And the touch of your fingertips Sends chills up and down my spine He has your kiss He's had it from the start But I'm sure he wouldn't miss Your qualities that stole my heart But you belong to him As we all know There's no way I can win So I have to let go

Freethinker1602 1-Apr-09/6:15 AM
it's not so terrible, has a good ring when read aloud. gets mundane in the middle and not as good in the end. the beginning is good. don't listen to those jerks. what may help also, right in a code,images. say the person has blue eyes, you could write
"lovely blue jay
you flew away
before you even landed
you left my branches bare
i tried to catch you
but you're too cunning
emptiness makes my heart tare"

just a suggestion helps make the poem reading and writing more fun and interesting.




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