Dovina
replying on Sandia Plain by Dovina
22 Jun 2005, 10:29 AM
The Sandia Plain is a fictitious name for the desert lying west of the Sandia Mountains in New Mexico, east of the Rio Grande.
I disagree. The poem is concerned with separation and the division of two people who have become co-dependent. Your variation destroys this meaning but it would work well as a sacreligious and egotistical defamation of another artists expression. I give it a 2 (fingers up)
Assignment: Read this to whoever it's for. If you get all the way through it without them A) Shooting themselves or B) shooting you, I'll give you a 10.
Not fond of bio-poems. The movies about Fossey and Alfred Kinsey painted far too saintlike portrets of these two legends. Of Fossey is said that she was a most unpleasant, ruthless women who preferred gorilla's over people. Well, can't blame her do we? Nevertheless I wished you had done this less as a Who's who bio.
A bit too detailed, almost reads like a scene from a National Geographic docu.
One 'adobe' too many, look for a synonym
I love the dots.. The dots are so poetic... Especially where there's only two of them.... They resemble nipples.....but arty, arty ones...... My tongue glides over the monitorscreen, licking them, slobbering...... I get poetically so aroused by those introspectic, melancholic, punct-colic dots.......and hey, thanks for the knives cutting into a heart, been searching for an equal brilliant metaphore for years and years........
you think the gorillas think about our inner struggle as higher primates? you think the gorillas see their imminent extinction and wonder about the cause of it?
I disagree with your heart, but I don't dislike your sonnet.
are you talking about the Sandia near the Rio Grande?
What you have written makes me wonder about the author and not about the poem itself. Does that make it art? I don't know. I'm trying to figure out your motivation without knowing you. This is a lot of NOT thinking about the above words.
a scar can not by definition be invisible. Or it isn't a scar. it's unmarred flesh. What makes a scar a scar is the Marring.
all that to wonder out loud; is English your first language?
I do not think rockmage is limiting himself really, on the 12 of June he rated all the poems I had then posted, one recieved a three, the others were all zeros and ones. I think he is probably going through an insecurity problem so I shall not join the dance, it would not help I believe. Nevertheless, if I were the type who dished out zeros this might well be a candidate for one.
No bad, a little work, and the addition of a few small words could make it better.
Why do I feel like I have read it a thousand times before??
This is too long for what it has to say.
Worth a 4. Giving you an 8 to balance out a certain putz who votes 0 for all poems posted by those who aren't among his chronies. Click on "view voting details" and taking whatever action you deem appropriate.
Much better. I wonder why just some of the sentences begin with capitals.
Before you get too upset about someone voting you a "0," look at who it is. This system is subject to a few abuses and it appears that you and I are rockmage's victims. I urge you to join me in returning the favor.
nice, very nice. :)
better go easy on the tears.