Bethy
replying on The Big Stupid Dink :) :) by Bethy
24 Aug 2005, 3:35 PM
Thankyou...and smiles are good...:) Bethy
This will be me on Saturday night...yup! I shaved my legs and got me a date...lol...*10* :) Bethy(a fav!)
Who cares what he thinks anyway. I say, Cork Pumps and a pair of daisy dukes should do the trick!
And Christopher Reeves Thought he was superman till a bed-sore took him out.
You hope right, but she looks enviable before that.
My job is done here.
you wanna get hit by a car? gawd I hope not lol.
Yes this makes me happy.
Funny, we each posted a womens-clothing poem at almost the same time, yours with a sadness, mine with a hope.
I like yours a lot, maybe a little jealous of her.
Hold that thought, and try it again, please - revised.
A bunch of no-nos. By that I mean you can just lose the beginning nos', the changes of mind.
"I lept to love you" - good. But some of of it is not stated very well. Example: "make the world accept you." - impossible, isn't it.
Leave out the parts that tell us what we think - "We all have." "you enjoy it." Your idea is good, but look at the grammar, and be a little slyer (is that a word?) in how you say it.
Thankyou...I am glad you liked it...may I ask who NIN is...I am curious to know...:) Bethy
I don't think "rival ivies" has ever been used in a poem before, nor have "pallid jealousy" or "blessed blasphemy," how are they stylized? The grave accent is not as archaic as you might think. Witness:
Yeats: "an agèd man is but a paltry thing"
Alastair Reid (in translating a poem by Borges) "Blessèd are those who do not hunger for justice."
"Unchanging" I agree is redundant as is "graced"
I don't really feel it's superior, just different. It helps broaden one's exposure to poetry. For example Pound's voice was enhanced by exposure to the dreamy, somewhat non-linear world of Chinese poetry. It's true, there are certain things more abundant in the poetry of some languages than others. For example Russian 19th century poetry has a down-to-earth, quiet and unflashy feel to it. Women in the poetry of that era and before are dark-browed, sweet-featured and tender-voiced. But their faces launch no ships, let alone a thousand. Whereas in English a skylark is, all in the same poem, a "blithe spirit," a "Glow-worm golden in a dell of dew," a "poet hidden in the light of thought," a "rose embowered in its own green leaves" and a "cloud of fire." But as the same poem states "Bird thou never wert.."
Made me smile. Thank you much.
Lovely.
Sounds like it could be the chorus of a NIN song. Cool!
re: "each moment, a thing is new and discrete from the thing it was a moment before, so you can leave anything." It didn't come to me that way in the poem. It was more like "one moment ends and another begins." When your narrator says, "It's easy enough to leave a thing. You tell yourself the thing you love is gone," I take it as a simple form of rationalizing that's bound to fail. Your narrator seems almost too simple-minded to be believable.