Re: a comment on No More Autumn Poems (Edit) by Sasha	Sasha 68.49.8.49	26-Aug-05/6:55 AM
*Jumps out window at the rediculousness of the embedding of these comments* True, but as I said before, there are some parts of cummings where not one word is complete or legible, which leaves one somewhere between a Steely Dan Lyric and President Bush's literacy. Also formal poetry has an appeal to me simply because I like the way it sounds. The disadvantage of nonformal poetry is that you can break with the form to make a point or acheive an effect whereas the best you can do in a nonformal poem is jump into rhyme, which is a lot harder to do tastefully. I know of only one poet (Dana Gioia) who can do so successfully.
Re: a comment on Quietus Proprietus by INTRANSIT	INTRANSIT 205.188.116.198	26-Aug-05/6:48 AM
Rephrase? Delete? Why? , of course. Thank you.
Re: a comment on Apollinaire: Mirabeau Bridge by Sasha	zodiac 212.118.19.227	26-Aug-05/6:48 AM
Maybe we're both riffing on the same standard.
Re: Quietus Proprietus by INTRANSIT	zodiac 212.118.19.227	26-Aug-05/6:45 AM
No, you shouldn't. It's bordering on overcleverness now (you know the kind: the turn-of-phrase or hidden rhyme won't fit in the poem but you just can't stop yourself from including it.) I like all of this except "she was in the perfect autumn ensemble"
Re: a comment on Apollinaire: Mirabeau Bridge by Sasha	Sasha 68.49.8.49	26-Aug-05/6:44 AM
It does have repeating endlines especially at the end, so you'd be correct I suppose
Re: Apollinaire: Mirabeau Bridge by Sasha	INTRANSIT 205.188.116.69	26-Aug-05/6:16 AM
I just went back and read Zodiacs- Come away with me Carly- and it seemed to echo the sound/rhythm of a villanelle. So does this, to me. Am I right? Or do I need therapy? :/
Re: a comment on With You at an Ancient Temple by Sasha	INTRANSIT 205.188.116.198	26-Aug-05/6:10 AM
Do you think i should strengthen the echoing sounds in -Quietus?
Re: a comment on Dear Lord, by INTRANSIT	zodiac 212.118.19.227	26-Aug-05/5:16 AM
I think the rhythm's fine as is. If anything, you need a syllable before "unto" in the line before, but I wouldn't even work too hard on that. Modernish, this way.
Re: Wrapping a Gift by Dovina	zodiac 212.118.19.227	26-Aug-05/5:12 AM
I happen to be listening right now to a song with one of the sexiest lines I know: - So go outside in the desert heat, get your dress all wet and send it to me. My suggestion: White cotton panties and nothing else.
Re: a comment on Wrapping a Gift by Dovina	zodiac 212.118.19.227	26-Aug-05/5:10 AM
A matter of T & A, rather.
Re: a comment on The Stone Man by Bethy	zodiac 212.118.19.227	26-Aug-05/5:07 AM
Oh my, you're young.
Re: a comment on With You at an Ancient Temple by Sasha	zodiac 212.118.19.227	26-Aug-05/5:07 AM
Weak answer: I dunno, just kind of strike me as stylized. You'll have to give me a day or so for the not-weak answer. As far as accents, I look to Frost, whose more-or-less straight-up rhythmical verse is full of extra and dropped syllables (cf. Two roads diverged in a yellow wood.) I've never had trouble reading Frost's intended rhythm, and I wouldn't stumble on "blessed blashphemy" in a pentameter poem. At best, the grave's unnecessary for modern readers, I think.
Re: a comment on How Angels Sleep by Dovina	zodiac 212.118.19.227	26-Aug-05/5:00 AM
Oh. I thought you were talking about angels, not people dressed as angels. My bad.
Re: a comment on Leaving the Woods House by zodiac	zodiac 212.118.19.227	26-Aug-05/4:59 AM
Have you read some of the comments on poemranker lately? Nothing, I'd say, is too simpleminded to be believable. That said, since posting the poem, I'm kind of taken with the idea of something being a discrete thing every instant of its existence (ergo you have no emotional connection to the thing it is this instant now, now, now, only a series of emotional connections to the different things it was in previous instants.) Call me simpleminded, but my wife just went back to live in America for my last year of Peace Corps service, so it kind of helps to think so. Incidentally, I read my idea the same as your "one moment ends and another begins" reading. What am I missing?
Re: a comment on The Servant and The Messenger by ALChemy	zodiac 212.118.19.227	26-Aug-05/4:53 AM
Yeah, actually I understand that, but it's kind of self-serving, isn't it? I mean, in order to make God exist then, you've got to make infinite potential exist, but that's just as hard to invent as God is, and it's just as arbitrary, just as much an act of imagination, an invention. For example, with the amount of mental effort it takes for you to believe in the existence of infinite potential, I can: - believe in the non-existence of infinite potential, - believe in the non-existence of nothingness, - believe that the existence of infinite potential means an infinite potential that God DOESN'T exist, - make a cheese sandwich. They're all just as easy, see? As far as nothingness on an infinite scale existing in a realm of infinite possibility, I disagree. Imagine for a moment there are only two possibilities concerning my existence (I know that's impossible, but imagine for a moment): 1) Either nothingness can exist on an infinite scale, or it can't. 2) Either I'm wearing pants right now, or I'm not. As far as the hypothetical reality above goes, is there an infinite possibility? No, there are only two possibilities. Can nothingness exist on an infinte scale? Yes. To make infinite nothingness exist, you only need one potential thing: the potential for infinite nothingness. See what I mean? If you don't, we need to get -=Dark_Angel=-,P.I. back from vacation in Leeds to tear us both to pieces on this. On a side note, some ancient thinker (Augustine?) said that since human consciousness can't fathom the concept of infinity, he can't have invented it by himself, therefore: God. This is kind of balls. Anyone will tell you infinity is just the highest number you can think of plus one, a concept which even the dullest among us can fathom.
Re: a comment on No More Autumn Poems (Edit) by Sasha	zodiac 212.118.19.227	26-Aug-05/4:29 AM
The point I was trying to make is, as far as modern poetry is concerned it is musical. That is, all good modern poetry has a concern with musicality, even if it isn't driven by music. Hardly any of it's in iambic pentameter or end-rhymed, but you can bet most good modern poets are reading their poems over and over and editing for flow, euphony, etc. I spent a very, very long time writing poems in strict rhythm, high formal wording, and exact rhyme trying to get music (actually, the first poems I posted here are the first I ever wrote without precise rhythm, and that was after like eight years of writing.) I think a STRENGTH of modern poetry is that it goes for more subtle music than olden-type poems do. Yeah, it's so subtle you don't see it sometimes, but I think it's there. And if it weren't, you'd notice. Like in most poemranker poems.
Re: Lessons(revised) by bellafuego	7!3 218.208.211.250	26-Aug-05/4:06 AM
nice :)
Re: Tarragon by D. $ Fontera	impert&ent 80.195.201.212	26-Aug-05/12:24 AM
Nice evocations of cooking throughout - but for the line about hips. So I'm thinking of a substitute for chassés that involves a stirring, a rolling, a grinding.
Re: orange crumble by impert&ent	impert&ent 80.195.201.212	25-Aug-05/11:59 PM
after tanks(4) http://www.poemranker.com/poem-details.jsp?id=129826
Re: a comment on The Big Stupid Dink :) :) by Bethy	Bethy 24.222.32.200	25-Aug-05/3:01 PM
Thank you soooo much Zodiac...I see exactly what you mean...hence the new poem...your advice open something up inside me...stick to the topic and feel it...good words of wisdom...:) Bethy