LilMsLadyPoet
replying on Apollinaire: Mirabeau Bridge by Sasha
27 Aug 2005, 6:59 PM
It is melancholy,like Moonlight Sonata is, in music, this is, in word. Beautiful. Thanks for sharing.
Ah...a new word! Alas, I was feeling lazy and did not look it up! Thank you. Spall, then means crumble....so is it corrct to say, as the poem does> "bricks spall and crumble"? Would seem one and the same word. Like: bricks 'crumble' and crumble? I would think spall>chip away, is more of an action taking place, so that would not work in that context...? "Bricks 'chip away' and crumble" Would it be correct usage to say?: "Bricks spall, becoming rubble beneath the feet of passers-bye." Thanks for the info!
The French poem from which I translated this has no punctuation either
Here are the first 6 lines in French, I've put punctuation marks in parentheses where they would normally be as prescribed by French writing conventions but aren't:
Sous le pont Mirabeau coule la Seine(,)
Et nos amours(,)
Faut-il qu'il m'en souvienne(?)
La joie venait toujours après la peine(.)
Vienne la nuit(,) sonne l'heure(.)
Les jours s'en vont(,) je demeure(.)
Yes, it's lyrical.
Steely Dan / Bush literacy. ACE!!!!! I picked up a book by Cummings flipped it open and thought " my god! this is worse than the O'Hara I'm fumbling with!" and promptly put it back on the shelf. So, the upshot of this conversation is: Generally speaking, better poems have music in them. Thanks guys! 'Preciate your time.
Truly an epiphany.
I looked up spall. Means chip away or crumble.
I've never been the best at punctuation but shouldn't there be commas or something between "over/joy" and "come/bells". Was this a lyrical style poem? Sounds lyrical. It's probably the refrains that do it.
Thanx: my 21 year old son is in Iraq
I was just attempting to explain the summum philosiphy and I believe I admitted it was questionable. Are you saying if the highest number I can think of is we'll say 100 than infinity is 101. Even the mathematical definition isn't that simple. Any where there is nothingness there is potential. You can only add something to nothing. Your definition of infinite nothing is an exceptable definition but obviously we're here in some way so it's not practical.
This is a favorite...*10* :) Bethy
it was both...:) Bethy
Goose bumps...*10* the last two verse are my favs...:) Bethy
I really like this...it sings...it flows...:) Bethy
Days go by me yet I stay...I like this line...This is enchanting...I can see this poem...:) Bethy *9*
Thanks Bobjim...It is true...its why I am a single mom bringing up two little darlins on my own...:) Bethy
Zodiac! a kindred spirit, at least as far as that song goes...my all time ever, forever and ever, favorite! Isn't that the absolutely sexiest freaking song you have ever heard?! The entire song is about her in that dress, for those of you who don't know it...David Bowie's 'Cactus', off the Heathen CD...Is worth a definite listen. Oh...cool poem!
spall? typo? (spill, fall?) made up word? new word I have somehow managed to miss? gap in my vocabulary? What of this wall?...you described it, now I wonder about it...perhaps you could add to this, make it more than just a description. Does this wall match how you feel? How the area feels? Dark and crumbling? Is it decaying while everything else around it is newly built and valued? Is there a contrast you can include, to make this wall interesting? Does is separate you from something, does it line something, does it hold up something of worth, or left to decay as if it is nothing, when it is in fact something? As it stands, it just stands and does not garner much if any attention. I need more than this if I am to take notice of this wall of yours.
I adore: "Her voice weaves sweet,"...awesome line...perhaps change chasses to 'shifts'?...
'She shifts and her hips
send thoughts of romance'...etc.
This is an amazing poem. Hope this isn't based on a true story.
-10- and fave
Mortar and pestle perhaps? I agree chasses has to go. But are we eating cooking or dancing here, um, perhaps it's (eat) that needs to go? Damn close though. Brings me back to Instructions to a sculptor by Christof.