zodiac
on The Bed I Made by BrandonW
6 Nov 2005, 4:55 AM
A: Divide the total number of times she's walked through the door by the total number of times she could potentially have walked through the door. The second number should be very high.
A: Just make them up. We won't know the difference.
A: Use mnemonics, like
I knew
at precisely two
-or-
She left at four
because she's a whore.
Of course, that doesn't help if you've already forgotten what time precisely you knew. You might try hypnosis, or keeping a daily planner.
A: In the dark, preferably crouching.
Good except the last line.
Regarding the poem: I don't think she redecorates by keeping (or reinstalling) the original fixtures, which I assume is what tourists do in old country places. It needs a different word.
Regarding tourists: Mid-desert, they will unfailingly find the biggest patch of sunlight and stand in it, blinking.
You must mean Billie Holiday singing "gimme a pigsfoot and a bottle of beer" as written by a Jew.
Try Nina Simone:
You know I smoked a lot of grass, Oh Lord, I popped a lot of pills
But I never did touch nothing that my spirit couldn't kill
You know I see a lot of people walkin' round here with tombstones in their eyes
'Cause the pusher don't care, child, if you live or if you die
God damn on the pusher,
I said God damn him
God damn him, pusher man
You have to hear it. When Nina says God damn, you know God's paying attention.
Nice. Tre Cali. It's interesting that you used an ungainly creature to represent settledness. I mean that as a compliment, and see how it works, but I always think pelicans look like they're about to fall over.
I'm sorry, we were talking about racism. Please retract the following: "negroes, the most different race from his [-=Dark_Angel=-'s]... about as different as it gets", so we can continue this conversation normally. It's a very easy thing to do. Here, I'll make it even easier:
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I prefer to call it gay. Firstly, thanks ever so much for pointing out that 'spastics are people too!' It was beside the point, however. I don't care how clever the average spastic is; everyone knows that 'spastic' is a common, amusingly obnoxious term for a generic retard. This is just another classic example of you instantly pouncing on every throwaway, deliberately offensive remark -=Dark_Angel=- makes, and explaining, in the most ernest tones you can muster, exactly why the remark betrayed a dreadful ignorance.
The appalling thing is that even if I *was* trying to say something about spastics in particular, your 'point' would merely constitute a short diversion from the argument, because for every intelligent spastic you can find, I can find a dozen, cosmically stupid mega-disableds, who definitely would fly into the nearest mountain. So my point about genetic inferiority stands, and yours ends up in the nearest spastics home.
As for the main thrust of your response, suppose:
(1) On average, Negroes are inferior to Normals at X, Y, and Z.
(2) On average Normals are inferior to Negroes at A, B, and C.
Then in the field of X, is it not sensible to favour Normals over Negroes given no other information? And is that not a DISCRIMINATION on the basis of RACE?
Very Freudian indeed:
Comes
slides in slowly
cocks a massive beak
settles on a post
sweetly coming/ deeply
Peaks/glisten
lapping/below
I can live with the on/off rhyming.
I just think it needs more info (more stanzas even) to clarify the meaning.
Dear everyone who cares and doesn’t,
Along the coast of LaLa Land, we sometimes watch sunset on Pacific Ocean’s horizon and a little later see coast-range peaks still glistening snow in post-sunset glow. Pelicans post themselves on posts in post-day and post wisdom like Post-It notes with cocked beaks — poor misdesigned birds.
I wrote “calks,” a misspelling of “cocks,” in what Freud would have called “penis envy” which subconsciously prevented my using the loaded “cocks.” His theory supposedly explains the envy many women feel of men's status and career opportunities — as if such feelings required a theory, especially one with such a provocative and misleading name. It makes you think of those few women who want a penis so badly they'd consider surgery to obtain one. But penis envy was never meant that way by silly Freud. Anyway, I’ve changed it to “cocks” and wait patiently for interpretations.
As for the off/on rhyming, well, I’m not as good as I once was. But once, I’m as good as I ever was, once upon a time — Wuntz. Now everybody sing along.
amazing poem
damn, i knew i should have added a fourth and a fifth
The last stanza: Remnants of her remain? Yes, that's what remnants do. (Boooo Hissssss)
Lose the corny end rhyme.
"from beneath the lashes" ...(holds arms straight up, palms inward)
It's a losng shot but I think she's going -calk/heel- meaning -he stows his beak, resting it on his back/under a wing. Lots of birds do this. If you think about how we "heel" our tongues or tell a dog to heel meaning stay close, I think that's what she's going for. Or maybe she's begging for a pet Capybara for Christmas. I can't be sure. The on/off rhyming bugs me. The beat, does not.
Solly Cholly. My mother is not alive. Nor was she Norwegian. The only time I've done chin-ups, was when I kissed pavement with my chin at Concrete Curl skatepark in Aurora Co. Mid, Erm, 70's?
And I haven't had anything to post lately, can I have a shin kick on credit?
Has a nice sound to it but it leaves a lot of questions. What do you mean by "calks"? Why are pelicans there in the winter time? "sadness sweetly coming"? Why 13 birds? What's it about? My guess, getting pregnant.
I wouldn't mind a few more stanzas given it's pleasant meter.
Hey, I'm waiting for him to knock on the door, a date tonight. This is just the frame of mind setter I need. Thanks.
Predictable,in line with the pattern. Thanks for the demonstration.
Look, all I ask is that when we have a discussion, you stick somewhere near the opening topic. You usually pick up on some side issue, and get so stuck to it that you won't even listen to my suggestion that we get back on track. It's so easy to criticize on issues like wording and implications that your comments on them are hardly worthy of rebuttal. Anybody can find a little flaw and magnify it. The harder and more constructive thing is to stay with a topic.
Well, if you're insistant against a chorus, may I suggest a melody like Frederick Chopin’s Nocturne in E-flat major, op 9, no. 2. He wrote it while in love with Camile and after he had asked her father for her hand. Because Chopin had tuberculosis, the father would not consent.
You're probably right about the question mark! This is actually a song I wrote and for the sake of posting, I killed the repeating chorus which is actually the 3rd stanza. I think that the last stanza gives it a sense of finality.
Am C G
e|----0---3---0----|----0-----------|---