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fumes (Free verse) by FreeFormFixation my helpless-
skin cells on duct tape
peeled off in the shape
of lips.
my helpless,
lie down in a distorted
muddle of blahs and moans.
and take me with you.
my helpless-
you stay sick on mattresses
piled in the shape
of a bucket.
move with the pieces
through the bile and stretch
one arm out to
pull me in with you.
as i helplessly
push your hair aside.
Up the ladder:
Bush Fire
Down the ladder:
free
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 4.3333335
Posted: November 3, 2005 2:00 AM PST; Last modified: November 3, 2005 2:00 AM PSTWeighted score: 4.9205313 Overall Rank: 9523 Comments:
[7]
zodiac @ 217.144.7.195
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3-Nov-05/3:29 AM
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Reply
A cross between Nirvana's 'Polly' and Beck's 'Fumes'. Not as good as either.
The three "my helpless"'s don't work very well.
damn, i knew i should have added a fourth and a fifth
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