Poemranker [Poem: The Bed I Made] [by BrandonW] Sun Nov 24 07:17:28 PST 2024

Is there a way to find the odds That you'd walk through that door? Around or near the time Her clothing hit my floor. Is there a way to find the words For what can't be explained? I have not found the strength I cannot speak your name. Everything reminds me of your taste, Your face, and how we'd lay For hours in the same place. Just waste away the day Content with that we'd made. Is there a way to find the time Precisely when I knew? I'd never see your eyes Or be inside of you. Is there a way to hide the guilt Or possibly the shame? I have not found the strength I cannot speak your name. Everything reminds me of that day, The trust that I betrayed Can never be replaced. Now I'm left to lay In the bed I made

[7] Dovina @ 209.247.222.98 | 4-Nov-05/11:19 AM | Reply

Seems the ? should be at the end of Verse 1.
Good as a lyric, but I think a repeating chorus would be good, something like the last verse.

[n/a] BrandonW @ 216.78.55.119 > Dovina | 4-Nov-05/2:16 PM | Reply

You're probably right about the question mark! This is actually a song I wrote and for the sake of posting, I killed the repeating chorus which is actually the 3rd stanza. I think that the last stanza gives it a sense of finality.

Am C G
e|----0---3---0----|----0-----------|----------------------
B|-1---------------|-0------3---1---|-0-----1---0---0------
G|--2---2---2---2--|--0---0---0---0-|--0------0---0---0----
D|---2---2---2---2-|---2---2---2---2|---0h2----2---0---0---
A|-0---0---0---0---|-3---3---3---3--|----------------------
E|-----------------|----------------|-3------3---3---3-----

This is the basic pattern, you only play the G fill to lead to the chorus while singing "Everything reminds me of your.." Then right back to the basic repeated pattern.

[7] Dovina @ 209.247.222.89 > BrandonW | 4-Nov-05/3:06 PM | Reply

Well, if you're insistant against a chorus, may I suggest a melody like Frederick Chopinâs Nocturne in E-flat major, op 9, no. 2. He wrote it while in love with Camile and after he had asked her father for her hand. Because Chopin had tuberculosis, the father would not consent.

[10] zodiac @ 217.144.7.195 | 6-Nov-05/4:55 AM | Reply

A: Divide the total number of times she's walked through the door by the total number of times she could potentially have walked through the door. The second number should be very high.

A: Just make them up. We won't know the difference.

A: Use mnemonics, like
I knew
at precisely two
-or-
She left at four
because she's a whore.

Of course, that doesn't help if you've already forgotten what time precisely you knew. You might try hypnosis, or keeping a daily planner.

A: In the dark, preferably crouching.