Re: a comment on Memoirs of a miners son by Caducus	INTRANSIT 205.188.116.198	29-Dec-05/2:31 PM
Cldtrucky? cute. Hey, have you submitted anything offline/ by mail anywhere? If so, what was the result. Thanks.
Re: Romans 8:28 by amanda_dcosta	INTRANSIT 205.188.116.69	29-Dec-05/2:28 PM
I agree. Rhyme or don't rhyme, not both. It's fixable. Just read it over and over aloud and work out the bugs.
Re: Romans 8:28 by amanda_dcosta	some deleted user 204.97.18.77	29-Dec-05/2:00 PM
Are the first two stanzas an intro of sorts, with a different rhythm? I can feel the rhythm in the last six stanzas but not in the first two. Also in line 4, stanza 1, is it supposed to read "there's a million" or "millions of?" And in stanza two, line 3, is it supposed to read "thread," as you have it, or "tread." Sorry if I seem nit-picky but an answer to these questions is helpful in getting a true handle on the poem.
Re: Memoirs of a miners son by Caducus	some deleted user 204.97.18.77	29-Dec-05/1:28 PM
This is an excellent poem. You could play around with line breaks for the heck of it to try to add a little extra punch, but other than that I would'nt change a thing. wonderful job.
Re: Night Work by forestchild7	Sisterwolf 207.69.138.138	29-Dec-05/1:08 PM
I do see one thing that might help you - don't use and anymore than you have to. As in line 12, the first and could easily be eliminated - another thing you can do is use commas instead of and, you will convey your meaning and it's much smoother. I really do like this very much.
Re: a comment on It's Time by PoeticXTC	zodiac 69.132.67.140	29-Dec-05/11:30 AM
Christ, this is just awful. Please stop. Please, please stop.
Re: War (edit) by zodiac	amanda_dcosta 203.145.159.37	29-Dec-05/11:18 AM
It's good. I've read it and re-read it, and each time it sounds better.
Re: Romans 8:28 by amanda_dcosta	amanda_dcosta 203.145.159.37	29-Dec-05/11:03 AM
Romans 8:28.... All things work for good to those that love the Lord..............
Re: Runaway by Cairsten	Dan garcia-Black 209.247.222.45	29-Dec-05/10:13 AM
Tastes good...yeah.
Re: a comment on It's Time by PoeticXTC	Dovina 209.247.222.95	29-Dec-05/10:11 AM
I like surprises - Big Surprise - that's good.
Re: For Love of Baseball by Dovina	amanda_dcosta 203.145.159.37	29-Dec-05/10:08 AM
i know nothing about baseball and am very poor at outdoor sport, so i don't think my vote would be fair. nevertheless, it is a nice poem and i think i'll vote when i connect with this properly. till then, please excuse me.
Re: a comment on It's Time by PoeticXTC	Dovina 209.247.222.95	29-Dec-05/10:07 AM
Do you believe that numbers (whole numbers, integers) exist in the absence of intellegent beings? Or are they figments that we have developed to help us organize our world?
Re: a comment on It's Time by PoeticXTC	ALChemy 24.74.101.159	29-Dec-05/9:21 AM
Sure. As long as you can suppress any raicist thoughts you might get.
Re: a comment on It's Time by PoeticXTC	zodiac 69.132.67.140	29-Dec-05/8:50 AM
By every definition of "belief" we've used on poemranker, I don't believe in God. I might have previously said so on poemranker (undoubtedly for some perfectly understandable reason I've since forgotten). Or you're misquoting me. I'm inclined toward the former. Actually, I bet you're thinking of the Pascal's wager comments here: http://www.poemranker.com/poem-details.jsp?id=122114 . I wasn't saying I believe in God. Logically, I refuse to rule out the possibility of God's existence, since there's no evidence that he does or doesn't exist, and (as we define God) such evidence cannot reasonably exist. Of course, I could have a vision, a giant finger could appear in the sky pointing to a sign that says "-=GOD=-", or I could die and go to heaven (or not go to heaven). In any of those events, reason's pretty much going out the window, which is why I feel comfortable saying "reasonably exist". I'd like to think that in any of those events I'm not going to be surprised, while you probably are. That's a lot of conjecture, though, since another name for God is pretty much Big Surprise. I also think God makes a really handy literary device. Maybe that's what you're thinking of.
Re: a comment on It's Time by PoeticXTC	zodiac 69.132.67.140	29-Dec-05/8:37 AM
The fact that I'm not black means I'm more likely to be an impartial judge to characteristics of blacks.
Re: Crowded by INTRANSIT	Caducus 172.213.114.74	29-Dec-05/7:35 AM
wordplay maestro :_)
Re: Memoirs of a miners son by Caducus	Caducus 172.213.114.74	29-Dec-05/7:33 AM
Line 3 should i say: he drew his breaths like a miners pick instead of heroes sword? Its a draft for sure but thanks cldtrucky
Re: a comment on Hoi Polloi by INTRANSIT	INTRANSIT 64.12.116.138	29-Dec-05/6:38 AM
Check Dovinas comments, they may clear it up. I just used my thesu for the title. dint know 'twas greek. :/
Re: My Christmas Gift by celticskatermatt1	INTRANSIT 64.12.116.67	29-Dec-05/6:35 AM
I'll echo the six. Read this aloud to yourself and you'll be able to fix it easily.
Re: Bleeding by Hadasl	INTRANSIT 64.12.116.67	29-Dec-05/6:33 AM
Stanza one is good. Stanza 2 does not carry the maturity of the first. Stanza 3, line 4 needs work. End period please.