Re: a comment on Glitterati by ecargo	ecargo 172.132.83.165	25-Jan-06/7:13 PM
amanda_dcosta! The whole thing's pessimistic.
Re: Unfortunate Lover by elderking	god'swife 71.103.98.44	25-Jan-06/7:01 PM
This is very sweet. And I'd venture to guess a common experience these days. All the woman I know who are married are married to younger men. You portray your feelings so sweetly that I was left feeling- "I know why he loves her". Would your younger self have been able to appreciate this relationship as you do now ? It's wonderful when a poem has a hidden dimension tucked into it. I'm sure it's un-intentional but it's there. the last line in the 2nd stanza- You might consider continuing the metaphor of seasons representing ages, and instead of the adj. 'earlier' try 'spring' or 'summer'etc... The first line of the last stanza- This is a tiny thing but I think saying "won't" instead of "can't" sounds more certain, and that shows the woman in the poem accepting herself and the fact that this man loves her as is. Also in this stanza you mix tenses slightly. The 3rd line would reflect better on the 1st with 'your love will soften'
Re: Glitterati by ecargo	Dovina 17.255.240.138	25-Jan-06/6:43 PM
Dusel is one of those easy-to-be-bored-with party yuppies that spoil most parties with fluff and smirk at poets, and are the reason I seldom go to parties anymore, unless they're about something more. I'm surprised you didn't point out the poets' disruptive potential, unless you're saying they're the complicit kind who are no different from Dusel.
Re: Tree of Life by ALChemy	Dovina 17.255.240.138	25-Jan-06/6:30 PM
Tree of Life could be from Genesis and Eden, or it could be the evolutionary tree of species. I go with the latter, but it's vague.
Re: Tree of Life by ALChemy	amanda_dcosta 203.145.159.44	25-Jan-06/6:10 PM
Does this have to be precicely accurate or correct in matter, i mean about the red/yellow leaves? I wouldn't know the difference. See, you guys are influencing my vote thought now. I might have commented spontaneously but now I keep wondering whether the matter is correct. All the same... its good. Poetic imagery of bright red leaves then it is!
Re: Glitterati by ecargo	amanda_dcosta 203.145.159.44	25-Jan-06/6:02 PM
Not bad! Although I wonder why the 4th verse should have a pesimistic tone to it. It's not usual for people to go to bed wondering if they'll ever get up. I could be wrong. Enlighten me.
Re: A moment, homeward by ecargo	amanda_dcosta 203.145.159.44	25-Jan-06/5:55 PM
It's a good piece. Well written and has some good stuff too. I was taken aback by the 'crows'. I had never pictured 'crows' with snow, as we have hoardes of them here where its pretty hot. The last verse is beautiful. Reminded of the 'solitary reaper' - william wordsworth.
Re: a comment on A Schizophrenic by amanda_dcosta	amanda_dcosta 203.145.159.44	25-Jan-06/5:46 PM
That's a new one. :-)
Re: a comment on A Schizophrenic by amanda_dcosta	amanda_dcosta 203.145.159.44	25-Jan-06/5:44 PM
There are exceptions to every story. Fanatics roam the world. Even then, this is the only place I know and can speak from how I see it. It's not that everyday we hear of religious violence. Moreover I prefer to thank God for small mercies and acknowledge that he is indeed giving me a fair amount of freedom in practicing my religion.
Re: a comment on Tree of Life by ALChemy	ecargo 167.219.0.142	25-Jan-06/1:17 PM
haaa--whatta dope; see what happens when you (i.e., I) just respond all knee-jerk and whatnot? I've been spending a lot of time lately in these eastern woods; I sometimes forget there's a wider world out there. Still not getting it though. Birds (like cardinals--such winter birds too) seems much too literal. Is your title a clue? If not, maybe it should be.
Re: a comment on Tree of Life by ALChemy	ALChemy 24.74.101.159	25-Jan-06/1:05 PM
I'm sorry that probably didn't come out quite right. For all I know, you did figure it out. I'm just sleepy so my comments are coming out all wrong.
Re: a comment on Tree of Life by ALChemy	ALChemy 24.74.101.159	25-Jan-06/12:54 PM
Your thinking The Crimson Birch or the Red Birch right. I checked to make sure they didn't fit the bill. The red is intentional. Read it and think about it. It'll don on you I promise.
Re: a comment on Tree of Life by ALChemy	Alizarin_Crimson 71.131.189.202	25-Jan-06/12:49 PM
Maybe not in California.
Re: Pacifics by zodiac	ALChemy 24.74.101.159	25-Jan-06/12:06 PM
I've been trying to check out your old stuff a little bit at a time just to get more of a feel for your writing. This I think is the closest thing to a 70s pop song you've ever written but I think you were probably feeling like one at the time. It was still a great read. The half rhyme scheme was ace.
Re: Tree of Life by ALChemy	ecargo 167.219.0.143	25-Jan-06/12:03 PM
Ah, but birch leaves turn yellow in fall, not red. And you seldom see one alone (they like their own kind). Pedantic, sure. ;-D How 'bout a nice boxelder? No one ever writes about boxelders (except maybe Stephen Malkmus).
Re: Sinning Sinners and Their Sinful Sins by MacFrantic	zodiac 209.193.14.133	25-Jan-06/11:20 AM
If you define 'sinning' as 'performing a sin', 'sinners' as 'people who sin', 'sinful' as 'full of sin' and 'sins' as 'more than one sin', your title becomes People Who Sin Performing a Sin and Their More Than One Sin Full of Sin
Re: Sinning Sinners and Their Sinful Sins by MacFrantic	Dovina 17.255.240.6	25-Jan-06/11:15 AM
Cute, though wordy, title. But the poem is not cute, but sad, arguing therby with the title.
Re: a comment on A Schizophrenic by amanda_dcosta	zodiac 209.193.14.133	25-Jan-06/11:15 AM
I heard they had a Whale God even before they knew there were whales.
Re: a comment on A Schizophrenic by amanda_dcosta	zodiac 209.193.14.133	25-Jan-06/11:14 AM
"January 13, 2002 - Joseph Cooper, a 67-year-old missionary from Pennsylvania was attacked by Hindu fanatics outside of Trivandrum in Kerala. Cooper was beaten with sticks and cut with a machete as he was returning from a church meeting. Indian pastor Benson Sam and his wife also sustained injuries in the attack. Cooper was taken to a Trivandrum hospital where he is being treated for a deep wound to his right palm and other cuts and bruises. RSS activists are believed to have been responsible." "November 18, 2002 - A local pastor and three Operation Mobilization workers were beaten in Goa after showing the Jesus film in a family home. The men were attacked by a mob of about 30 people as they were sitting down to eat with the family, who had been very receptive to the film. The mob also damaged a vehicle used by the Christian workers. Police eventually dispersed the mob and the Christians were able to file a formal complaint."
Re: a comment on A Schizophrenic by amanda_dcosta	zodiac 209.193.14.133	25-Jan-06/11:11 AM
It's about 30 million, actually, according to the web. Jordan's about 100,000 Christians in a country of 6 million. You definitely feel what it means to be in a non-Christian country. Even though Christians are pretty well tolerated, even the law is totally based on Muslim principles. It's wild.