Re: Call me Floyed by FreeFormFixation	INTRANSIT 64.12.116.6	12-Mar-06/7:12 AM
as in the bob and tom show? They're funny, man. I swear to god they are.
Re: a comment on The jessiness of Jess by Bobjim	Bobjim 84.9.160.206	12-Mar-06/6:16 AM
The whole poem is merely words. It's written simply for the sake of being written.
Re: The jessiness of Jess by Bobjim	Blue Magpie 212.205.251.68	11-Mar-06/11:59 PM
What is 'the jessiness of Jess' in not understanding this the whole poem becomes merely words.
Re: Sour Apple by ecargo	INTRANSIT 64.12.116.6	11-Mar-06/9:05 PM
This screamed NYC at me. I hope that helps.
Re: a comment on Crowded by INTRANSIT	Ranger 62.252.32.15	11-Mar-06/4:59 PM
Heh, yes - it's going to take at least one more edit before I even think of putting it on the ranker, but if it's done right...well, as with every villanelle I've ever seen, if it's right it is a beauty! Take yours along - knowing how good you are with words I'm prepared to bet it works well. Anyway, gotta get some sleep, footballing tomorrow - catch you later!
Re: a comment on Crowded by INTRANSIT	INTRANSIT 152.163.100.10	11-Mar-06/4:53 PM
I hear ya! Villanelles are a bitch. But so worth it! I'm hoping I can get mine dialed in someday. Maybe I should take it to read aloud at the bookstore tomorrow night. HAHAHAHAHA! Who am I kidding. my balls aint that big. the arcs/dark isn't a bad idea.
Re: a comment on Crowded by INTRANSIT	Ranger 62.252.32.15	11-Mar-06/4:44 PM
Well I like the rhymes - when I read it I didn't actually notice them at first as I was focusing on the images; so to me they work well as a rhythmic device. It's just line 4 that brought it to my attention, it was sort of a 'why's he said that...oh right' moment. I tend to find that it's easy to tell when a poem's been based around the rhymes, in contrast to the rhymes just being a tool. And they're definitely a tool here (which is preferable in my opinion), so there's probably no need for downtoning. How about changing the whole rhyme. Maybe 'their minute arcs/sleepless in the dark' instead? I'm not sure, it might or might not work. I spent hours yesterday trying my hand at a villanelle so I'm kind of rhymed out at the moment.
Re: Windflower by matt door	Ranger 62.252.32.15	11-Mar-06/4:34 PM
I thought this was going to be a collection of haikus when I first saw it. I'd have to agree with ecargo and Niphredil, the rest of it is very pretty. The final stanza in particular brought a smile to my face.
Re: a comment on Crowded by INTRANSIT	INTRANSIT 152.163.100.10	11-Mar-06/4:33 PM
Thanks big R. And kudos for exposing that Imposter! I owe ya. If I could pull this away from the end rhyme or atleast tone them down , it might be better . think so?
Re: Navy Pier by matt door	Ranger 62.252.32.15	11-Mar-06/4:28 PM
'In such peculiar concert/with your silly laugh' did it for me. A simple poem which manages to end up greater than the sum of its lines.
Re: Mango Pickle by amanda_dcosta	Ranger 62.252.32.15	11-Mar-06/4:25 PM
This is nice, in a 'Hi ho, hi ho it's off to work we go!' kind of way - it's the sort of poem that needs communal speech. I like the semi-rhyme in stanza 2, it's subtle enough to not override the rest of the poem, while still helping the rhythm along.
Re: Crowded by INTRANSIT	Ranger 62.252.32.15	11-Mar-06/4:22 PM
Good to see you back, my long-distance amigo! I like this, very catchy and ever so slightly surreal; personifying the gauges works very nicely. Line 4 feels a little...awkward though. 'Leaving naught to keep' felt much more archaic than the rest - but then again, I can't think of anything you might replace it with.
Re: Windflower by matt door	Niphredil 192.117.117.50	11-Mar-06/12:39 PM
I'm afraid my heavy breath come dawn isn't that sweet... that aside, I enjoyed the composition and flow of your poem.
Re: mundane routine by justarandomtuesday	Niphredil 192.117.117.50	11-Mar-06/11:26 AM
wow, action packed poem! A bit too long for my taste; I feel that it would pack a harder punch if you were to shorten it. You have some really good imagery, though, and it makes for an interesting read.
Re: Spoken word (draft) by Adriaan	Niphredil 192.117.117.50	11-Mar-06/11:14 AM
I'm afraid this poem doesn't read as a whole at all. You don't seem to be saying anything meaningful; you start out with Words and end up with Sex. So? The title isn't really relevant to what you're saying, either. I'd like to see this finished, with a beginning and an end. Perhaps then I can relate to what you're trying to say. As it is, it's a fragment, and I won't vote on it.
Re: a comment on I’m unsaid and dead by Prince of Void	Prince of Void 213.207.231.8	11-Mar-06/10:41 AM
that's true...it must go on
Re: a comment on Breakfast by Dhanesh M Kumar	zodiac 206.174.124.170	11-Mar-06/10:07 AM
Wow, this is the best cynicism-related comment on poemranker ever. I should mention, I gave my wife the Two Prisoners problem yesterday and she solved it in 5 minutes, math and all. Sometimes she simply astonishes me. She said it's because she knew, with you guys, the problem was going to end sitting in a cell, flipping a coin by yourself.
Re: Navy Pier by matt door	zodiac 206.174.124.170	11-Mar-06/10:03 AM
Stop posting this same poem. Are you ready to be Mature now, Doug?
Re: a comment on Breakfast by Dhanesh M Kumar	Dhanesh M Kumar 220.226.41.187	11-Mar-06/7:32 AM
The war started with the question of "weapons of mass destruction". Have they found anything that was a threat to U.S or U.K? I am of the opinion that they could have eliminated or atleast silenced Sadam without a war. In that case the oil wells could not have been controlled.It's here that question of oil arises.
Re: a comment on Breakfast by Dhanesh M Kumar	-=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. 86.135.203.170	11-Mar-06/6:02 AM
"who's to say it would have been as bloody and messy as what we've precipitated?" It's a judgement call. But think carefully about the environment in a failed rogue state. Is it the sort of place in which ordinary people can pull down their pants and form a representative government? Or does power inevitably end up in the hands of the most ruthless militant in the region? To what extent is the insurgency fuelled (as opposed to hampered) by the coalition's presence? I would simply say judge the insurgency by what the insurgency does. Its victims have been overwhelmingly Iraqi. Its tactics have consisted in finding imaginative new ways to target civilians. It has absolutely no political voice, other than a discordant braying for a return to god-knows-what brand of medievalism. It is beyond reason, and beyond motive. In my opinion, without the backing of a coalition to rebuild Iraq, the whole country would look like Fallujah. "Mostly, though, I'm practical and endlessly cynical about politics" The presumption is that the government is in a perpetual process of aggrandising its power, and that the citizens should be wary of that. But that presumption, taken to a point, blinds YOU, if you end up believing only what you want to believe, and simply refuse to listen to what people in power are saying because it's a priori a pack of lies. Cynicism becomes a mantra. I'm not saying you're like that; I'm just saying you're an extremely naughty little girl who should be more like me: so cynical you're cynical about cynicism.