Re: The Day After Next by cyan9	drnick 141.218.35.109	5-Apr-06/10:23 AM
I really like this. I'm not sure that many people know what black and white camera film melting is like, so perhaps you would consider a different analogy. I like the "jerked from frame to frame" and "like children crying and the screeching of worn brakes." Very good imagry.
Re: a comment on These Past Sixteen Months by amanda_dcosta	amanda_dcosta 203.145.159.44	5-Apr-06/10:18 AM
Ha ha ha... no probs drnick.:-). I'm honoured that you still read my poems inspite of my choice of topics and and persitence. Thanks for your vote.
Re: These Past Sixteen Months by amanda_dcosta	drnick 141.218.35.109	5-Apr-06/10:06 AM
I liked this up until the second-to-last stanza, and I don't think I need to explain why. I like the fourth stanza the best, very nice.
Re: Shy, quiet by Ranger	drnick 141.218.35.109	5-Apr-06/10:01 AM
Well, I didn't catch the club-theme going on here, but I still think this is a good poem. I like the third line. The last line is very good, I can relate to that. All that said, you've done much better than this.
Re: Shy, quiet by Ranger	MacFrantic 172.190.96.251	4-Apr-06/11:50 PM
Wow, this is great, except for the way the first line is broken up. Would've done it differently. So, *9*
Re: Explorations Underground by ecargo	MacFrantic 172.190.96.251	4-Apr-06/11:40 PM
I love the last line, money. *9*
Re: Kristi's Quiescence by matt door	raven_the_poet 216.45.130.159	4-Apr-06/5:28 PM
very beautiful <3
Re: a comment on Pastoral Care (Psalm 23 revisited) by Dovina	Dovina 70.38.78.229	4-Apr-06/2:57 PM
A California escapee seeking refuge in the hills of Tennessee.
Re: a comment on Pastoral Care (Psalm 23 revisited) by Dovina	amanda_dcosta 203.145.159.44	4-Apr-06/10:51 AM
What is a female goatherd called?
Re: Pastoral Care (Psalm 23 revisited) by Dovina	amanda_dcosta 203.145.159.44	4-Apr-06/10:46 AM
Quite a realistic description to the psalm. It is the flow though that could be noted... a bit unbalanced. On the whole I like it.
Re: a comment on Because You Love Me by amanda_dcosta	amanda_dcosta 203.145.159.44	4-Apr-06/10:09 AM
Cadacus... thanks a ton for your vote and critique. I'm priveledged to have your vote on my page which I normally do not see around. As for wanting to know why I love him... I don't specify that, as what matters to me is the fact that I am loved no matter what. 'The road I take' means that however I live my life... good or bad, I'm still loved, irrespective of whether or how much I love him. That's the love of God. Even if I might not believe in Him, He still believes in me!
Re: Because You Love Me by amanda_dcosta	Caducus 86.141.200.191	4-Apr-06/8:43 AM
Because this read so heartfelt and genuine it seemed elevated from greeting card style poetry to something more and i find myself drawn to the simplicity of it. I guess I'm saying simplicity can work - i think the meter helps and it would be even better with a couple of killer lines (less basic). It needs a core, a heart. The end line normally would make you sound dependant on someone else to feel loved but it kind of works for me though why do you love him? give us a reason and make the love tangible and felt more. Pretty good, flawed yet lovely.
Re: Explorations Underground by ecargo	Caducus 86.141.200.191	4-Apr-06/8:37 AM
last 3 lines wrap it up a treat.
Re: Shy, quiet by Ranger	cyan9 217.40.63.105	4-Apr-06/7:45 AM
Didn't really get this, it was cool, and an enjoyeable ride, I think Im glad that I havn't got it in the end + it grows on me. After reading your ecplanation I geuss to clarify it without giving away what you are talking about you might consider using a few more cat like terms e.g. feline, and also references to looking at the women.
Re: The Unforgiven II by alvinb	cyan9 217.40.63.105	4-Apr-06/7:38 AM
The best thing Ive read on this site
Re: a comment on The Day After Next by cyan9	cyan9 217.40.63.105	4-Apr-06/7:30 AM
Thanks for the critique, Ive acted upon it somewhat and think its added to the piece. Will return the favour at some point.
Re: a comment on Pastoral Care (Psalm 23 revisited) by Dovina	ALChemy 24.74.100.11	4-Apr-06/7:25 AM
Oh, I could live with the Yoda talk if it fit with the poem and was consistant. It's just the first and best half doesn't use The Force so to speak and so it's better to stay consistant with the begining. Cute, your little Yoda rhyme is.
Re: a comment on Pastoral Care (Psalm 23 revisited) by Dovina	Dovina 70.38.78.229	3-Apr-06/5:12 PM
But doesn’t the homely “within” hark back simpler times. And doesn’t the final “almost” remind of having witnessed a tender scene and wishing it were yours to the extent that it almost is? And “’corn, a few’ Baaad girl”? – I am so naïve as be completely uninformed as to what you mean.
Re: a comment on Pastoral Care (Psalm 23 revisited) by Dovina	Dovina 70.38.78.229	3-Apr-06/4:19 PM
Yeah, Yoda-talking is getting passé in this age of the NOW. No decent poet would stoop thereto. “Name one poet who reverted to writing in a style from a previous era.” Well, Yoda, for one – he reverts to Wordsworth: “Away she goes, up hill and down, and to the wood, at length is come.” Suck, my rhymes may. In antiquity, my style lay. But under the sun, nothing new has come.
Re: a comment on Explorations Underground by ecargo	ALChemy 24.74.100.11	3-Apr-06/2:41 PM
I didn't really take "woad" literally anyway. Maybe "azure", "cerulean" or "Royal blue" or even just "a royal warrior".