Re: Controlled Euthanasia by Dovina	richa 81.179.135.216	28-Jan-07/1:46 PM
I read the gud one. The only bit I liked was the end when she found him with peanut butter and struggling with a loaf of bread. I'm not sure the poem makes any sense though.
Re: a comment on Body Worlds by Dental Panic	Dental Panic 84.27.81.27	28-Jan-07/1:17 PM
Thanks for your comment. Outcreeping the creep, that's the trick indeed.
Re: a comment on Molecules of Paint by Dovina	-=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. 70.198.23.179	28-Jan-07/12:26 PM
I've got diabetes.
Re: He's... by holliebollie_19	-=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. 75.192.64.249	28-Jan-07/12:20 PM
There's a mysterious quality to this poeme... something I can't quite pinpoint... I find it haunting... real... it's very powerful... do you often try to evoke such emotions in your work?
Re: a comment on Depature from Nam by AlexandraLeaving	-=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. 75.192.64.249	28-Jan-07/12:01 PM
Semicolons are the hallmark of the dunce.
Re: Stained by fadedlove	-=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. 75.192.213.24	28-Jan-07/10:55 AM
This so effortlessly achieves the vague air of guffing claptrap that wheezes out of all good poetry. Sublimely beautiful. A triumph. You have talent: use it.
Re: a comment on Controlled Euthanasia by Dovina	Dovina 208.127.72.100	26-Jan-07/11:15 AM
He got up from the sofa, syringe still in his shoulder where it flopped as he walked to the door, then fell on the floor. Your pun is good too; I hadn’t thought of it. Three times is good when killing a man, or writing poems. I might do that.
Re: Controlled Euthanasia by Dovina	Ranger 62.252.32.15	26-Jan-07/5:03 AM
The last stanza's great and the rhythm's good. It feels like it's missing a bit though; I tend to work in threes - you've given two punishments here, maybe a third would add to the effect? I've never seen a syringe flop, or is that line just innuendo?
Re: The Glass by dancin_n_da_moonlite	Ranger 62.252.32.15	26-Jan-07/4:59 AM
Keep playing around with this one, because it really has got some good ideas and potential.
Re: Controlled Euthanasia by Dovina	Dovina 208.127.72.149	25-Jan-07/1:47 PM
Dovina: Inspired by “One in Ten Thousand,” Athena Workman, GUD. Just click at your left.
Re: The Passing by Stephen Robins	ecargo 167.219.88.140	25-Jan-07/7:24 AM
Ace. "Ethnic splatter" . . . just ace.
Re: a comment on It was a dream within a dream by Prince of Void	Prince of Void 213.207.253.39	25-Jan-07/1:33 AM
if there is a secert im not aware of that i myself is inside mysteries
Re: It was a dream within a dream by Prince of Void	Dovina 75.82.85.162	23-Jan-07/7:17 PM
Am I dreaming or did you crash the wall, slither through the defenses, and post this twice, just nine minutes apart? Please tell me your secret.
Re: It was a dream within a dream by Prince of Void	Dovina 75.82.85.162	23-Jan-07/4:45 PM
Just checking; this really is another post.
Re: a voice poem by richa	Dovina 75.82.85.162	22-Jan-07/4:31 PM
I had to read it several times, where a few commas would have helped, and think such beginnings turn away readers, should it be one of the first of yours they read.
Re: a comment on Molecules of Paint by Dovina	Dovina 75.82.85.162	22-Jan-07/3:48 PM
I always consider an edit, and agree the linked list of colors and trees goes on a bit. I often edit the poems I post here, but I don’t always post the edits. I did repeat the mixing of paint on a palette at the end, hoping to bring home the idea of similar patterns in leaf veins and tree branches, and suggest a connection. Maybe it goes without saying. Thanks for the comments.
Re: a comment on Molecules of Paint by Dovina	Dovina 75.82.85.162	22-Jan-07/3:29 PM
Sorry, I got carried away in a cloud of extremities.
Re: a comment on Wreck of the Poor Anchor by Dovina	Dovina 75.82.85.162	22-Jan-07/3:24 PM
May I suggest that strong peripheral vision does not necessarily mean a lack of capacity for intense focus? Of course, it’s perfectly all right to hold a notion without logical basis. We women do it all the time. Just a peripheral notion, of course, and a bit snooty.
Re: Molecules of Paint by Dovina	richa 81.179.135.216	22-Jan-07/3:23 PM
If you are looking to edit it I would start by distilling the list of colours and trees into a couple of lines. And don't repeat yourself about the whole paint on a scene palette thing. I don't think the colours of leaves mix either.
Re: Body Worlds by Dental Panic	ecargo 167.219.88.140	22-Jan-07/2:31 PM
Love it. Great easy, loping rhymes throughout. Creepy as hell, unusual, intriguing, topical, personal. Really great. I saw the Bodies exhibit in New York, and THAT creeped me out. This outcreeps that, even.