Re: Altitude by half.italian	Prince of Void 80.71.124.166	1-May-07/1:59 PM
Poems are made by us One of us shall see What we paint Upon the blank page That depicts what shall be unseen In the heart of meanings When the heart is pathless When no poem shall go uncommented Where poems and oceans cross each other In the horizon of poets' dreams
Re: a comment on requiem for the dead generation by Prince of Void	Prince of Void 80.71.124.166	1-May-07/1:58 PM
Poems are made by us One of us shall see What we paint Upon the blank page That depicts what shall be unseen In the heart of meanings When the heart is pathless When no poem shall go uncommented Where poems and oceans cross each other In the horizon of poets' dreams
Re: a comment on requiem for the dead generation by Prince of Void	Prince of Void 80.71.124.166	1-May-07/1:46 PM
Here is a empty grave that I want to lie in The void where I want to fill by my own body Oh pains how can you leave me now? Remember all words I wrote about you I need you … How could you ignore me? When I need you Don’t leave me now Don’t run away You are the Life That’s running away from me Look how I’m dying And getting numb And how I can explain such death How can it treat me in that way? Don’t leave me now Know how I need you It’s too late for me I’m dead by now ohhhhhhhhhhh Dovina
Re: a comment on grim task by lmp	SupremeDreamer 130.65.109.104	1-May-07/1:35 PM
I was speaking to Edna.
Re: a comment on Worn Ruse by drnick	drnick 24.247.112.155	1-May-07/10:36 AM
She's in a worn ruse that is acted by his mind. He doesn't see through it because it is a psychological disorder of some sort. I realize that I need to develop that thought so as the reader has a better understanding. Thank you!
Re: requiem for the dead generation by Prince of Void	Dovina 75.82.86.162	1-May-07/9:51 AM
A strangely familiar feeling about the now-ended cold war with Russia. Or is it over? Look at my recent poem in your name.
Re: a comment on new clothes, same old story by nypoet22	nypoet22 70.146.88.117	30-Apr-07/5:55 PM
possibly passed by, on his way to stand on a chair and perform. possibly passed excrement and stood on that. possibly both at the same time, at least metaphorically.
Re: Evening by Enkidu	cheese.doodles 70.52.170.201	30-Apr-07/3:13 PM
It's cute! I like.
Re: a comment on The Editor by Dovina	Dovina 75.82.86.162	30-Apr-07/3:08 PM
Having caught the flavor of his writing, my tone (outlook) is changed, I begin setting his viewpoint to things in my life that he doesn't know about. I am influenced by him. Thanks.
Re: Worn Ruse by drnick	Dovina 75.82.86.162	30-Apr-07/3:03 PM
Is she "in" a worn ruse, or acting it? And if it's worn (as in seen by him before) why is he not seeing through it?
Re: The Editor by Dovina	drnick 24.247.112.155	30-Apr-07/3:01 PM
I didn't like the comparison in line 6, but after seeing how you developed it I changed my mind. This is very well written, but I'm not sure what you mean by "My tone is altered by such poems." How is your tone altered, and why? It just doesn't seem to fit right there. Anyways, great job!
Re: again it happnes by skaskowski	Dovina 75.82.86.162	30-Apr-07/2:59 PM
Clean up the first sentence. Quit a whimsy, dream or trip.
Re: Castle of Pandas IV by FreeFormFixation	Dovina 75.82.86.162	30-Apr-07/2:53 PM
"awaker" doesn't cut it. And the last two verses wander off somewhere. The first 4 verses are nice.
Re: The Sunnyside of David Uden by lukehanney	Dovina 75.82.86.162	30-Apr-07/2:49 PM
Please don't vote for yourself, especially with a 10; and do use apostrophes where grammar demands, not just where you want them. I'd give a 7, but 4 instead, to balance your 10.
Re: a comment on Worn Ruse by drnick	drnick 24.247.112.155	30-Apr-07/7:32 AM
I do see what you mean, thank you!
Re: Worn Ruse by drnick	richa 81.179.247.122	30-Apr-07/3:53 AM
I like the first verse. The second is rather overwrought fears, lies, depression etc. Try not no be so wise about the character. Let him act in the poem.
Re: The Emperor's new clothes by thetrev	richa 81.179.247.122	30-Apr-07/3:46 AM
How very intriguing.
Re: new clothes, same old story by nypoet22	richa 81.179.247.122	30-Apr-07/3:42 AM
Why 'passed'.
Re: Breath by thetrev	richa 81.179.247.122	30-Apr-07/3:38 AM
I don't know what the hell is going on here. The stuffy beige of what? How are windows unbuttoned, are they windows or shirts? How are voices sweaty? We still don't know where we are when you talk about big breaths bottles, lined up like a squadron. If the poem had a better sense of place the reader may be more inclined to explore these metaphors but as they stand they just look like gibberish. 'Their wrists are taut' the 'their' is meant to be about the students (I hope) but the students have not been mentioned since stanza 1. Verses 3-5 are a perfectly lucid poem in themself but verses 1+2 fail to impart much meaning.
Re: 1982 County Stadium by jessicazee	richa 81.179.247.122	30-Apr-07/3:07 AM
I like 'We might have tailgated but I thought that meant something like skitching'.