Re: Rooster Rape by Dovina	richa 82.2.211.159	19-Sep-07/2:47 PM
'understory to some curious acts/ of a raucous maddening cock' needs preserving in the annals of pr history.
Re: Through the eyes by MacFrantic	richa 82.2.211.159	19-Sep-07/2:38 PM
I get to misanthrope and think wtf. Attributing human motivations to the world. There is a word for that kind of thing.
Re: Master by Dovina	some deleted user 63.127.193.79	16-Sep-07/10:21 AM
excellent--I love the cynicism.
Re: a comment on Between two Truths by Dovina	Dovina 71.138.165.108	15-Sep-07/4:57 PM
Spoken like a hemorrhoidal Philistine who has just entered the temple of Dagon and found the granite arms of his god broken off and all he can think to do is get rid of that dammed Ark.
Re: a comment on Between two Truths by Dovina	-=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. 79.65.186.161	15-Sep-07/2:50 AM
1 Samuel reads like the ramblings of a drugged horse.
Re: Bleeding in the American South by wilco	thetrev 81.248.169.44	14-Sep-07/3:10 PM
you have a well crafted western. doesn't really say anything new and i don't like the refrain, but still well done
Re: a comment on Between two Truths by Dovina	Dovina 71.138.165.108	14-Sep-07/2:12 PM
The book of I Samuel rings more like history than parable. I can’t imagine any theological value in these hemorrhoids. But it’s easy to imagine gut-wrenching laughter from Israelites when they received them. They must have at least grinned at the funny choice of shape for a gift of gold sent by those humiliated Philistines. And they must have grinned again at seeing their enemy recognize the fact that they, the Israelites, had won. Perhaps they also felt empathy, for they too had been humiliated in times past, akin to one who admits his mistake, an act of recognized imperfection in which the Lord is pleased.
Re: Plug my Phone In by jessicazee	some deleted user 63.127.193.79	14-Sep-07/3:45 AM
Very well done--and I agree with INTRANSIT about you being under appreciated. Keep up the good work.
Re: The rift by MacFrantic	some deleted user 63.127.193.79	14-Sep-07/3:38 AM
"relization is a cheap matinee." I like--good write.
Re: Pulling the hill (formerly-in response to) by INTRANSIT	some deleted user 63.127.193.79	14-Sep-07/3:33 AM
I like poems that tell a story and you do that to perfection in this piece. I see this as more of a prose poem, but how it's labeled really does'nt matter---it's good stuff.
Re: a comment on Between two Truths by Dovina	-=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. 87.84.68.242	13-Sep-07/3:18 AM
I'm extremely disappointed (and ashamed at having not read preceding verses) that it wasn't God who made them build the golden hemorrhoids. Chiefly because it's less funny now. But I am at least cheered by your apparent attempts at making excuses for Bible verses that are so obviously beyond Thunderdome. Just "a story, not the Gospel"... what are you implying? That the hemorrhoid plague verses aren't, from The Bible's point of view, meant to be taken literally? That they're just made up? Why include such a bizarre, sick story in the first place? I can understand using parables to teach subtle moral lessons (or whatever) but this is clearly not a parable. What can divine hemorrhoid plagues teach us about life? This is what I think: the normal, healthy reaction to a story like that is a mixture of revulsion and derision. That would probably be your reaction if you'd never heard of Christianity before. You can prove me wrong at once by stating unambiguously that you agree the hemorrhoid plague story is stupid and childish; that it was obviously made up by men, not God; and that it ought to constitute a serious stain on The Bible's reputation.
Re: a comment on Between two Truths by Dovina	Dovina 75.82.86.162	12-Sep-07/8:14 PM
I wish you would read the context of a verse before using it as basis for a sermon. The Lord did not demand a final act of spite from the Philistines. It was the priests of Dagon who suggested sending golden objects as gifts to appease the Israelites. I think it’s funny they chose hemorrhoids, but that’s part of a story, not the Gospel. And gold can be melted down. You can send it to me in any form you wish. Nice to find you reading the Word.
Re: a comment on Plug my Phone In by jessicazee	jessicazee 70.94.2.198	12-Sep-07/5:41 PM
thanks.
Re: a comment on Between two Truths by Dovina	-=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. 79.65.186.161	12-Sep-07/3:41 PM
This morning I entered my drawing room and saw that someone had left a Bible on the chaise longue. Trembling, I opened that Book at a random page, and was confronted by this: -------------------- [1 Samuel 5:6] The LORD's hand was heavy upon the people of Ashdod and its vicinity; he brought devastation upon them and afflicted them with tumors. [7] When the men of Ashdod saw what was happening, they said, "The ark of the god of Israel must not stay here with us, because his hand is heavy upon us and upon Dagon our god." [8] So they called together all the rulers of the Philistines and asked them, "What shall we do with the ark of the god of Israel?" They answered, "Have the ark of the god of Israel moved to Gath." So they moved the ark of the God of Israel. [9] But after they had moved it, the LORD's hand was against that city, throwing it into a great panic. He afflicted the people of the city, both young and old, with an outbreak of tumors. [10] So they sent the ark of God to Ekron. As the ark of God was entering Ekron, the people of Ekron cried out, "They have brought the ark of the god of Israel around to us to kill us and our people." [11] So they called together all the rulers of the Philistines and said, "Send the ark of the god of Israel away; let it go back to its own place, or it will kill us and our people." For death had filled the city with panic; God's hand was very heavy upon it. [12] Those who did not die were afflicted with tumors, and the outcry of the city went up to heaven. -------------------- That's the New International Version. Probably most amusing is the 21st Century King James version, which substitutes "hemorroids" for "tumors", and contains my favourite Bible quote of all time: [1 Samuel 5:9] And it was so that, after they had carried it about, the hand of the LORD was against the city with a very great destruction; and He smote the men of the city, both small and great, and they had hemorrhoids in their secret parts. As if hemorroids in their secret parts (as opposed to where, exactly?) wasn't punishment enough, in a final act of spite the Lord demands a guilt offering from the Philistines consisting of "Five golden hemorrhoids and five golden mice" (1 Samuel 6:4). Firstly, I can't think of anything worse to model out of Gold than a hemorrhoid (apart from a tumour, perhaps); and Secondly, how can anyone of non-demented moral intelligence read guff like that and call it gospel?
Re: He Became William Tristan a 9/11 story by sonawrote	INTRANSIT 69.23.157.197	12-Sep-07/2:21 PM
Sorry sona. Rhyming couplets does not a poem make. If you drop half these lines and throw the rhyme out, it would improve. Your choice.
Re: The rift by MacFrantic	INTRANSIT 69.23.157.197	12-Sep-07/2:13 PM
Starting at line 3: Whiplashed, convulsive, her eyes are a cheap matinee moans fall from her carpet tongue She arches; a rigid turnpike Playing magic on myself ? try tying it back to the polecat or the movie theatre. Still I likes.
Re: a comment on Pulling the hill (formerly-in response to) by INTRANSIT	INTRANSIT 65.29.52.204	11-Sep-07/6:06 PM
One oversized purple lego head in the galaxy and it's given to 'mage. Where's my ray gun.
Re: Pulling the hill (formerly-in response to) by INTRANSIT	SupremeDreamer 130.65.109.104	11-Sep-07/12:08 PM
I can sympathize in some respects, old friend. Eight. Oh, and don't mind the bearded orangutan; rockmage hasn't yet learned that throwing his feces about is considered uncouth in polite company.
Re: Plug my Phone In by jessicazee	INTRANSIT 65.29.52.204	11-Sep-07/6:53 AM
I also think you're under appreciated around here. I hope you are not relegating yourself to this site only.
Re: Plug my Phone In by jessicazee	INTRANSIT 65.29.52.204	11-Sep-07/6:47 AM
Possible changes : replace -chemistry- it's understood in the previous line. I think you can move -sacred- between ten and morning, and do no harm. the parking ticket is clunky BUT interesting. Odd is good. Can you soften it a little? The plug line bugs me. Too forward, I think. Overall, I really like what you've built.