poemranker ::Rooster Rape by Dovina

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Free verse № 153905

Rooster Rape

Member since 2004 · Posted 19 Sep 2007 · 11 comments

Our rooster owned the henhouse we never gave the house I closed the wire gate behind and entered his domain Shiny feathers ruffled cocky head raised tall cocked eye on the intruder pomp of sound and strut I went about the chores of mending fence and post The bird-eye never left me as if sizing up a threat I forgot him for a moment abandoned watchful glance He must have read my gender for my man, he never touched Without a vocal whisper I heard the rush of wings could have passed for angel’s gentle breeze around my ears He flew important mission not mild, but boldly militant as angels sometimes are planted talons in my back to which I swung around and meant to kill with hammer blow but he was gone by then his proud head standing tall Comes a moment in a story poem where news is done and culminates ends subtly, deft, or bluntly and a moral should appear A careful poet uses lighter fingers places ferns beneath coniferous trees understory to some curious acts of a raucous maddening cock applied to other kinds of life as poet changes modes: discovery by Copernicus to Galileo’s sense The mystery and the enterprise for which this rooster lives and why he fought a larger hen or did he want to mate

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11 comments

[8] richa 19-Sep-07/2:47 PM Reply
'understory to some curious acts/ of a raucous maddening cock' needs preserving in the annals of pr history.
[n/a] Dovina › richa 19-Sep-07/4:08 PM Reply
How could you extract a dignified remark from context and shove it into pr anals?
[8] Ranger › Dovina 20-Sep-07/1:50 AM Reply
Shove a maddening cock into pr anals? What has this place descended to in my absence?
[0] xxx › Ranger 20-Sep-07/8:17 AM Reply
Shocking!
[8] Ranger 20-Sep-07/1:51 AM Reply
Is line two missing something?
[n/a] Dovina › Ranger 20-Sep-07/2:26 PM Reply
heavens, I don't think so!
[8] INTRANSIT 26-Sep-07/2:20 PM Reply
Did you rape a truck driver, Dovina ? Shame on you.
I like this but it's too heavy. I'll get back to it though. first read/8
[n/a] Dovina › INTRANSIT 27-Sep-07/4:01 PM Reply
No, but it sounds interesting. Too heavy? How, please?
[8] INTRANSIT 29-Sep-07/9:22 AM Reply
Maybe it's not so heavy as clunky.
Shiney feathers, eye on intruder, pomp of sound and strut, Keep those. The house /henhouse thing is confusing. Forgot and abandoned are the same,I prefer abandoned. Read mmy gender for my man? Huh?
Boldly militant as angels- I prefer over mission.
The rest is just too wordy, I think. Keep the Copernicus stuff. I think it gives just the right amount of ambiguity. Not sure you need the last line.
I'm a little strained for time, sorry. Next time, when the rooster attacks, use a nine-iron. ;)
[n/a] Dovina › INTRANSIT 1-Oct-07/3:48 PM Reply
ok, “gender” is better than “sex” I’ll give you that. Wait, no I won’t.

How is the house/henhouse thing confusing? He owned the henhouse and would have owned the house too, if we had allowed it.

Wow, You won’t even allow me a bit of cadence with “I forgot him for a moment / abandoned watchful glance.” Too wordy? A hard taskmaster you. A rooster on my back.

I thought the last line was hilariously funny, and you simply frown – a comedian’s worst outcome.
[0] Engelbert Humpalot 8-Oct-07/6:55 AM Reply
Fabulous first couplet rhyme! Henhouse and house! Genius! The rest of it is rubbish. The funniest thing since 9/11.