x0lovelylarnx0
on Heart Cancer by shit
21 Jul 2004, 4:48 PM
That was very touching.
A spherical towel?!
a bit much for me but good -8-
Nice emotion
I don't have these problems. I am a fence rider.
Opps I thought I checked over it!
I think the poem was nicely writen!
What/who did this to you? My god.
oi vey...such a chubby this gives me.
hey! and u say MY poems are depressing??? lol its a very good expression of w.e u are feeling! and heres a 9
Your complete lack of punctuation does you credit. And the lines "Your gentle hand / Is the only healing of this treasure" have stained my rosy cheeks with tears, not for sorrow, but of happiness beyond the imagination. Actually, the best part is where you talk about not having to see things with your eyes, because you have memorized them with your mind. Now I'm going to type something with my fingers, which I want you to look at with your eyes, then assimilate with your mind, then say with your mouth, and then hear with your ears:
-=AIDS=-
What? You weep with great sorrow for a crushed leaf? Good one. As useless as cracks in a stone? Are cracks in stones really that useless? Yes, yes I suppose they are. But no more useless than cracks in just about anything. Certainly not so useless that I would remark upon their uselessness in casual conversation, perhaps likening them, as you have done, to other useless objects. If you're going to say something is useless, you may as well liken it to something genuinely useless. Like your face.
Might want to scratch "Feeling Like" from the title.
"Iâm masquerading as someone who loves you." "Not technically lies." Good lines.
That is filthy Crystal - there isn't a single word listed which doesn't carry some overt sexual message.
My favourite words are wetter and choke and curd.
That was good
Interesting picture. Technically: Heavy/oppressive seems redundant and a little cliche. Drop the "but not exactly" again, redundnt against almost laughing.
Finally, -up in- upon may be better. Something about the storm and the village traders having a connection.
Eeees goot.
great screen name. i have no fucking clue about the poem.
The line 'the words he said next were awesomely new' and the spelling of mirical makes you appear a dunce. But credit for posting a terza rima, it seems to work and the lyrical/spherical rhyme is refreshingly unexpected.
Awesome Poem!
There wasn't enought syllables in each line . It supposed to be 10 in each. The scheme was wrong. It's ABA BCB CDC DED EE.