Free verse № 93511
depressed
Depression is black, filling my head, dulling my sight
Feeling alone, tuning all out, sleeping all night
When you cant save yourself from the neverending black sea
Of thoughts that you wish would escape and just leave
You want your mind to recover, willing to die for this
I long for the thoughts, gone so long, i think i miss
Sometimes i know i want to feel sad, but not this bad
Not crying for no reason, just a little darkness and to be a little mad
I need to leave this phase, this darkness and stress
i need to think of myself, but i realize im too depressed
3 comments
[_] About romantic love
[_] About poetry-writing
[X] About suicide or self-mutilation
[_] Arbitrary indentation
[_] Arbitrary line breaks
[_] Autobiographical but in the third person
[X] Clerical errors
[X] Cliched imagery (staring out of window, pits of despair)
[X] Cliched rhymes (love/above etc.)
[X] Devoid of alliteration or any such linguistic embellishments
[_] Devoid of rhyme
[_] Devoid of simile, reification or any such literary devices
[X] Devoid of wond'rous or fantastical imagery
[_] Drug references
[_] Elves, unicorns, etc.
[_] Exclamation points used to mark 'the funny bits'
[_] Insipidly whimsical or zany
[_] Leaving rant
[_] Lower case only
[X] Melodramatic
[_] Naively religious or superstitious
[_] Obsessed with femininity
[_] Overabundance of ellipses
[X] Overuse of 'depression' words (putrid, wretched, darkness, etc)
[_] Pointedly unanswered questions
[_] Protagonist has a smug name
[_] Rage against the machine
[_] References to the author's 'social life'
[_] Repetition of a single word or phrase to the point of nausea
[_] Sanctimoniously moral
[X] Sentimental
[X] Self-pity
[_] Thesaurophilia
[_] Use of internet shorthand or emoticons
[_] Vicarious wish fulfilment
Mediocrity score: 11
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