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The Dream (Terza Rima) by x0lovelylarnx0
As I am awakening from a dream I begin to think I am In a different place The beautiful sun has been seen I'm searching for a mysterious face The face is like a shiny clear crystal It feels like a silky piece of lace The face is very oddly mystical I felt it again and it felt like sand I massaged his head it was predictable It was amazing he kissed my hand His lips were as soft as a bird feather He looked like a boy from a rock band He is as hot as warm summer weather But is so cold I could use a sweater

Up the ladder: Anti-Kinetic

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 GraphVotes
10  .. 22
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.. 10
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Arithmetic Mean: 4.3636365
Weighted score: 4.681818
Overall Rank: 12186
Posted: July 20, 2004 9:54 AM PDT; Last modified: July 20, 2004 9:54 AM PDT
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x0lovelylarnx0

Comments:
[n/a] x0lovelylarnx0 @ 205.188.116.141 | 20-Jul-04/11:54 AM | Reply
I hope that you like this poem!
[7] Prince of Void @ 217.218.131.140 | 21-Jul-04/3:53 AM | Reply
That was good
[0] Sasha @ 69.138.238.225 | 24-Jul-04/4:31 PM | Reply
This shows some grasp of imagery. The rhymes are once again forced though. When you have a word accented on the penultimate syllable ending a line, you should have 11 syllables in the line total.
[n/a] x0lovelylarnx0 @ 64.12.117.6 > Sasha | 25-Jul-04/4:06 PM | Reply
For one thing the Terza Rima are supposed to only have 10 syllables in each line.
[0] Sasha @ 69.138.238.225 > x0lovelylarnx0 | 1-Aug-04/10:42 PM | Reply
Not if they're hendecasyllabic. They're supposed to have five stressed syllables interspersed with 5 or 6 unstressed syllables.

STOP COUNTING SYLLABLES

Learn what iambic pentameter is before you initiate anymore verbal defication
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