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CommentsComments 1541–1560 back. Include replies to comments

Skamper on Stringed by thetrev 26 Nov 2007, 5:49 PM
OH! this is weird, I like what each line and verse is saying but find the overall connection escaping me.
Skamper on some deleted poem 26 Nov 2007, 5:56 PM
Agree with INTRANSIT...the first half needs trimming and shorter lines, defining breaks with lines rather than commas. I don't enjoy too many directions when I read, so it could just be me. :)
Skamper on Trapped in a horseshoe by INTRANSIT 26 Nov 2007, 6:10 PM
Nicely portrayed - the one-way relationship, never to be relayed any other way.
INTRANSIT on Missing - You by Skamper 26 Nov 2007, 6:17 PM
Line 9. sectet? dic.com couldn't find it.
Christof on Trapped in a horseshoe by INTRANSIT 27 Nov 2007, 6:18 AM
No smoothing! I like this with its internal rhymes, the tripping rhythm, the abrupt caesurae. Stops you getting too comfortable, just like the barmaid.
INTRANSIT on Before Dawn by Christof 27 Nov 2007, 9:33 AM
Klaxon. Great word. Could you say- boy or girl in roiling- ? Or is this a specific person. You?
malpaso on A-looky here. by malpaso 27 Nov 2007, 3:27 PM
pov stands for point of view, skamper.
Dovina on Missing - You by Skamper 27 Nov 2007, 8:43 PM
It has a good rhythm and a good subtle message. Would be nice if the Word 2 pattern continued: little, quiet, secret, . . . rain/sane rhyme seems a bit forced. Verse 2 is my favorite. The last line is disappointing and vague, seems unsupported.
Dovina on The Monogamous by Sasha 27 Nov 2007, 8:50 PM
I like it a lot. Would scratch the parentheses and the colon though.
Dovina on Again with the venting by hobojo 27 Nov 2007, 8:54 PM
The last verse is quite good I think. It's the summation of most complaints. But we all know that "just and even" never happens.
Dovina on Trapped in a horseshoe by INTRANSIT 27 Nov 2007, 8:58 PM
Scratch the "and" in Verse 1. I like "quarterback of the linear team." Space after the comma in Verse 3. Last line is provocative.
Skamper on Easter Egg Hunt by Dovina 29 Nov 2007, 3:32 AM
I wish I could understand this, but the language is out of my reach. :(
Dental Panic on In the berth by INTRANSIT 29 Nov 2007, 5:57 AM
the sound effects make it an infant thing - don't know if that's intentional. It's wasted on me, that's for sure. I like the cat though. prrrr prrrrrrrrrrr
Dental Panic on Easter Egg Hunt by Dovina 29 Nov 2007, 6:14 AM
While freestrolling through comments here and there, I read a line of yours, going something like: did I see you in Kansas, staring at daisies? Maybe you should try to write more by accident - this is one big deliberate bulk.
sliver on some deleted poem 29 Nov 2007, 8:17 PM
Again,I must say. Well done! This should be in the top ten
Dark Angle on Engine Braking by INTRANSIT 1 Dec 2007, 10:08 PM
Not bad, good imagery, puts me there in the conductor chair (?)... but leaves me a little confused about why I'm reading this.
Dark Angle on Uptown spell! by liya 1 Dec 2007, 10:18 PM
I'm sorry for the shabby rating but this poem is just not my thing
Dark Angle on A bereaved search by liya 1 Dec 2007, 10:20 PM
Good rhyming, and I guess form counts for something.
Dark Angle on Easter Egg Hunt by Dovina 1 Dec 2007, 10:26 PM
So what you're saying is that God looks down on the brightest of humans like we look down on rotary telephones?
Dark Angle on Over the Horizon by Miggy 1 Dec 2007, 10:27 PM
Sounds like a country song, I hate country songs.