Dovina
on The Soul by Bobjim
6 Dec 2004, 9:28 AM
Do not the "perverted thoughts, hurtful passions" originate in the "centre of the mind," the very place "incarcerated" that you want to protect from those things? That doesn't make sense.
Delightful.
A new game in which you still play for keeps. How is that new?
what r u talking about?
no one is on skates....only a skateboard
I think horus8 might be dead
Makes me want to stand up in a room full of poets and say, "Hi. My name is Dan. I'm a poem-holic."
At least age gives something in return for all that it takes. Not much, albeit. But something.
I'm not quite Conch-ious of the poem. Though I do like it.
photophobe-chuckle.
No amount of nonsensical smut -filled commenting could ever bring this poem down.
As always, razor sharp and clean. Amazing what stress does for the inspiration eh?
lacks chemistry, rhetoric
i wrote this when i was 12...lol
Wow. That's the most original Christmas thought ever. It's so important that we stop to think, at least once, about the true meaning of Christmas. Because in today's fast paced world of microwave dinners and plastic toys (as opposed to the more traditional woods), baby Jesus has been lost, only to be replaced by a giant Sony Dreamcast Cube (or whatever it is the little brats like to play with these days).
If someone threatened to blow up a school unless you thought perverted things and wrote them down, would those perverted thoughts corrupt your inner cavern?
"Oh lets rejoice that happy" ???
Your name affects your character, like a "Boy named Sue." And "clumsywords" is not helping yours.
"Instantly you are regretful" could be "instantly you regret" with no loss of rhythm. And how do you express an unknown love? Several lines need a closer look for clumsy words.
The rest of your poem is a rather good statement of a common female dilemma, clearly painted, and needing polish.
drench drizzle rain. all three?