a nice poem ..

Parts of it don't scan as it is. Write it out purely as a monologue (which is what it is in essence) and then dismantle that on the page. Things I like: wailing walls and waifs of wood. Things I don't like: the bit about Eden, and surveying of stains (a bit of overkill). I'm not crazy about him seeing acceptingly that he's in denial either. And - I know I'm picking only the bits that I didn't like - referring to himself in the third person is a bit, well, pompous. Maybe other people will disagree with me. If it was my poem I'd look to scratch a few things and tighten it up here and there. That's my five minutes' worth of thought, anyway. Keep writing.

Perfect word choice, but it left me wanting something more. Do you use sat-nav in your cab?

Pretty.

Very strong, and I love the idea of awaking in tattoos. I just think you could get more effect by bringing in some sort of rhythm. I don't feel any in here.

The last 6 lines are the best I've seen on poemeranker in months. The grammar Gestapo are going to be calling round about a couple of those apostrophes though.

This is utterly wonderful. Why is it buried away?

Damn good. Just change "that is...pregnant" to "who is..." I don't think the narrator wants to objectify his wife in that way.

Lust, Gluttony, Greed, Sloth, Wrath, Envy, Pride - Yep, you've sinned them all and deserver hellfire without possibility of parole. That's what you deserve, but because of one who already paid, you get better than you deserve if you want it. However, the sins of "your still save with me", "that bad that", and "I haven't crave in such awhile" are simply unforgivable.

Lines 3 and 4 are good. The rest, well, a work in progress.

This is an excellent poeme. Unfortunately it makes me think that you don't really appreciate the true meaning of Christmas. You think it's all about getting presents, but it's not.

"Sighing profoundly she saunter" is a very haunting line to open with. Is that what you were aiming for?

Is this communist talk!? Get it off this site or I'll call the police.

Garbled nonsense. Throw it in the bin.

Dear Lees, A wonderful piece of sublime feelings with good rhyming. A good attempt .Keep romancing with your pen.

Good... but it isn't a haiku.

back savouring this again, it gets better each time i read it. Merry X.

geezer - Englands best export

Artic freeze so to speak. Dealing with Class I drivers I usually imagine what they get up to when they aint trunking. Cool poem, unlike your journeys - short.

great expression of how you feel about this person,I would tighten up the meter to improve the flow, a few typo's, and a few places the rhyme seemed forced, but cleverly written to portray the feelings and incorporate the 7 deadly sins, it was an enjoyable read.