Re: melancholy: by Sapphire	tadpole 24.55.116.186	21-Mar-05/8:53 PM
nice
regarding some deleted poem...	Dovina 12.72.7.171	21-Mar-05/9:03 PM
Spray ‘em black and send ‘em back.
Re: stab in the dark by not_a_philosopher	zodiac 212.118.19.211	21-Mar-05/10:48 PM
Probably because you spend too much time hanging out with those Baptist Student Union band-chicks.
Re: Reasonably Good by Dovina	zodiac 212.118.19.211	21-Mar-05/10:53 PM
Do you love Uranium 238? Why?
Re: That Moment by RION12	zodiac 212.118.19.211	21-Mar-05/10:58 PM
How dreadfully convenient your life must be. Which of the following do you think was your biggest mistake: a) knowing at that first moment that you were meant to be, b) doing "something very wrong", or c) knowing at the last moment you weren't meant to be?
regarding some deleted poem...	zodiac 212.118.19.211	21-Mar-05/11:04 PM
Um, shouldn't you be grown up by now? What are you, like 30?
Re: Crazy by the_poetess	zodiac 212.118.19.211	21-Mar-05/11:12 PM
You should be here. Talk about meanings having words or whatever, yesterday I watched a normal Arabic adult stare at a playground slide outside her classroom for 15 minutes while she tried to think of an Arabic word meaning "slide". Later, I saw another woman do the same thing thinking of the Arabic word for "calendar". Weird, huh?
Re: Reasonably Good by Dovina	Dan garcia-Black 66.218.59.165	22-Mar-05/7:55 AM
Let's not get personal here. I was born the year of the Rat. There is no year of the dove only the Cock. Which will you extol?
regarding some deleted poem...	thepinkbunnyofdoom 4.224.87.77	22-Mar-05/11:07 AM
Gone.
regarding some deleted poem...	durr_T_hip_E 68.254.156.173	22-Mar-05/11:38 AM
I find some broken/out of time rhythm inherent in the lines which I appreciate being able to ride as I read; however, the picture of the actual events as they really appear is fuzzy. Am I to interpret this as a story about you receiving flowers from a long lost sister ("when she abandoned us both") who found you through associated surnames and things of the like but mistook you for her lost father? or... am I to read this as some random women shooting for the bullseye and completely missing her mark but for finding you in a similar situation; in which case you're empathizing with the stranger in the last line... i understand the emotions and can relate on some level, yet, i cannot get a clear picture of what is really going on without some clarification... on the bright side, you have a great start, a good foundation of ebb and flow with which you could go back and elaborate if you wish to do so. Good luck and thanx for the post! Peace, Sean
Re: The Sidekick Retires From Fairview's Finest by luzrheroguy	oneglove 205.133.194.138	22-Mar-05/11:43 AM
at times very cliche but very smooth, i liked the line "And how hair could be the perfect accent to a face", the last two verses arent as strong as the rest of it. i think it would be even stronger if you just cut them out. overall good job *8*
Re: A good little poem by INTRANSIT	durr_T_hip_E 68.254.156.173	22-Mar-05/11:46 AM
I'm not sure what it is; unfortunately, the delusional worldly web in my mind simply doesn't like it. I like pickles so you got one point for that. And, I like rye bread, so you got another for that. But, all I see here is you telling me that when you think of bread and infomercials, you also think of pessimism and things that didn't work so that you may appreciate the fresh pickle in your mouth. If you wanted me to picture some random guy eating a pickle on rye, then good job. Peace, Sean
Re: Reasonably Good by Dovina	durr_T_hip_E 68.254.156.173	22-Mar-05/11:53 AM
Love the rhythm...like the word choice...and I may be misreading the message... am I to conclude (my first assumption) that you, like the symbollic God, KNOW the difference between good and bad/evil? If this is the case then your ideology is diametrically opposed to my whole entire worldview and I can't stand the message... however, it could, by some stretch of logic, be concluded that you have no clue what you're talking about and only the symbollic God could ever truly judge these things; in which case, i applaud your philosophy and the poem as a whole...for now you get your magnificent 7 to go with your magnificent ego. Good work overall as a poem...maybe add a dash of love to spice it up or something... Peace, Sean
Re: stab in the dark by not_a_philosopher	durr_T_hip_E 68.254.156.173	22-Mar-05/12:13 PM
I have at times considered myself atheist, at times catholic, at times a strongly NON catholic christian, and now I call myself agnostic out of submission to reason and logic...now onto your poem and some minor psychoanalysis: you're a narcissistic, self centered, drug addict; let me explain...the most frequently used word in your poem is (no surprise) "I" you used the word "I" six times in eleven lines which means that over fifty percent of your propositions were from YOUR perspective...not that we can ever truly get out of our own perspective...but, you make it glaringly apparent that the focus of this communication is YOU. you also use the word "my" twice bringing your total references to SELF up to eight out of a total of 60 words meaning that at least 12% of the symbols that leave your lips mean "you." that should cover the narcissistic self centered part of my analysis. now, you're a drug addict...religion truly is the opiate for the masses...it allows us, in our mind, to take our self out of the center of our universe and replace that center, usually, with a god who is now the one responsible for EVERYTHING from creation on...god loves us when all the world hates us...god explains when we can't...god gives us an image of perfection to strive for and forgives us when we don't hit the mark...blah blah blah...god gives us happiness... B.S. you are responsible for your choices you are responsible for the effect your behavior and words have upon others (for example, some atheist getting slightly upset because some christian claims that happiness cannot be found outside of god) happiness, i have found, is more about tolerance, acceptance, and forgiveness of others and their flaws....more about accepting the fact that bad things happen....about accepting the fact that YOU WILL DIE and making the most out of every moment you have with every emotion you create from your delusional little worldview (btw...all of our worldviews, especially mine, are delusional). But, in the end, whatever makes you happy; if you need to damn people like me to some symbollic hell in the back of your psyche, go nutz if that makes you happy, just don't ever try to take your self-righteous judgment public; i'd hate to see the people lieing bloody on the pavement just because some psycho christian believed they could tell the difference between true good and true evil. Peace, Sean
Re: THE BEST POEM EVER!!!!!! by ?-Dave_Mysterious-?	durr_T_hip_E 68.254.156.173	22-Mar-05/12:25 PM
LOL...as i see below...somewhere....under my nose...2 tens scored upon the board and a group of pedophiles in tow!!! This is hilarious...I love you... Peace, Sean P.S. Due to my interest in beautiful women and receiving head, you get a ten!
Re: The Populous by durr_T_hip_E	Dovina 12.72.5.2	22-Mar-05/12:38 PM
I’m following your butler of a title, and assuming this houseful of descriptions applies to the people as a whole. Frankly, I find that concept too broad for value. Still, the flow is good and the descriptions vaguely valid. I wish for greater definition, punctuation perhaps, and something personal.
Re: Tribulations of the ear and eye by oneglove	durr_T_hip_E 68.254.156.173	22-Mar-05/12:53 PM
Good...very good overall... nice approach; i like how you maintained mystery in meaning until the last few lines. i love the perspective, very creative, unique...and, i love the message. Here's why you got an 8 instead of a 10...you, are obviously a poet, and a decent one at that; yet, at least in this piece, your eyes and ears are not poets - the propositions within the quotes are the bulk of the foundation, yet, the things that break your rhythm as we read it...my only suggestion, if you were looking for any, would be to play with the things you have the eyes and ears saying to see if you can smooth them in with the rest of the vervish beat. peace, sean
Re: Tribulations of the ear and eye by oneglove	Dovina 12.72.5.2	22-Mar-05/1:08 PM
The eye and ear high-tail it, dissatisfied. Okay, but "atrophied"? maybe "starved.” The “greatest gift” of the heart seems left alone and undeveloped. Maybe it needs a tender helping hand.
Re: Paris 1941-63 by Mister Cakes	johnnyfontaine23 84.67.2.1	22-Mar-05/2:25 PM
A shoe-in for a poetry prize.
Re: Poems for devolution by richa	durr_T_hip_E 68.254.156.173	22-Mar-05/3:33 PM
You got the lucky 7 from me for creativity in word choice; I noticed when reading the comments that you wished to convey the idea of the narrator being involved in petty conflict - well done... your message is nearly crystal clear, and would be if it was known (from the poem) that you are British, otherwise it just seems like the narrator is some average joe who has beef with scotland for, of all reasons, climate and topography. good work peace, sean