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melancholy:

Member since 2001 · Posted 16 Mar 2002 · 6 comments

this lingering longing, clutches at me whole the ache of emptiness, gripping upon my soul those languid lazy days of frolick gone that wash of youth, no longer in my song

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mean 4.24 weighted 4.25 rank 13165 views 209 View voting details →

21 votes so far. Yours would make 22.21 votes so far

6 comments

[n/a] nentwined 16-Mar-02/1:21 AM Reply

pretty

[5] anonymous 4-Apr-02/1:09 PM Reply

There is a place for despair, I guess. But it stays only your despaire until you can learn get out of yourself and look around. Replace all your I's and Me's with she or you.

[5] anonymous 13-May-02/3:37 PM Reply

okay I had some advice but I'll just rewrite it how I'd do it:
Lingering and longing have now swallowed me whole./
The teeth of emptiness no longer press against my soul.
Our endless lazy days of frolick are gone/
With the pleasant haze of youth/
That was taken from my song.

By wash, did you mean watercolour or ink? If so it wasn't clear.

[7] horus8 18-Jul-02/2:30 AM Reply

I hate the airport, but the valium should start kickin in any time nowt

[2] deleted user 21-Aug-02/8:03 AM Reply

I like the "languid lazy days," but the poems rhyme, along with the other, weaker images (i.e. ache of emptiness, grip/soul) ultimately tie the poem down in cliche.

[9] tadpole 21-Mar-05/8:53 PM Reply

nice