Replying to a comment on:
melancholy:
(
Free verse
) by
Sapphire
this lingering longing, clutches at me whole the ache of emptiness, gripping upon my soul those languid lazy days of frolick gone that wash of youth, no longer in my song
babbit11
21-Aug-02/8:03 AM
I like the "languid lazy days," but the poems rhyme, along with the other, weaker images (i.e. ache of emptiness, grip/soul) ultimately tie the poem down in cliche.
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