Re: A love apple's just a tomato (edit of "Uprooting") by fevriere	INTRANSIT 204.110.228.254	21-Apr-05/3:23 PM
I like the spuds at the end. just potatoes/ just desserts. cool.
regarding some deleted poem...	edpeterson 68.79.19.7	21-Apr-05/7:00 PM
punctuation is fucked up. I know. I'm bad at punctuation.
Re: Baggage (3rd ending) by INTRANSIT	edpeterson 68.79.19.7	21-Apr-05/7:07 PM
I must assume that the misspellings are intentional? and the misplaced apostrophes? the final stanza (paragraph) is unwieldy, and the metaphor a bit cute, but I think it works okay, and the interior images (if that makes any fucking sense) are really good.
Re: standing outside the door by nentwined	edpeterson 68.79.19.7	21-Apr-05/7:11 PM
kinda funny. last line doesn't work on me.
regarding some deleted poem...	edpeterson 68.79.19.7	21-Apr-05/7:17 PM
why the word "yet" in line 2? laying, should be lying. "finding me" should be saved for later. or the title.
Re: A love apple's just a tomato (edit of "Uprooting") by fevriere	edpeterson 68.79.19.7	21-Apr-05/7:29 PM
i thought love was just sausages.
Re: Forbidden by Caducus	A. Nomaly 61.91.36.254	21-Apr-05/10:18 PM
I guess I've gone cynical but these (this one and the seashore one) make me wanna throw up. Keep up the good work. KC
regarding some deleted poem...	fevriere 62.254.128.4	22-Apr-05/1:37 AM
Hm, cheesy in parts, no? My favourite section was this: I speak of moments such as this one, in which the rain sparkles just right, catching the streetlights red handed in mid-fondle of night as it showed most originality, sense of humour.. I feel you could still edit this one more time.
Re: Gaping Hole by sonawrote	thepinkbunnyofdoom 4.224.24.70	22-Apr-05/1:47 AM
A touch repetive, but I easily connected with this.
regarding some deleted poem...	Christof 62.121.23.56	22-Apr-05/2:16 AM
This actually isn't too bad, but what exactly are you talking about in stanza 3. You imply that a cool mountain stream is the same as an angel reaching for Satan. Is this true?
regarding some deleted poem...	Christof 62.121.23.56	22-Apr-05/2:17 AM
Nauseating.
Re: Baggage (3rd ending) by INTRANSIT	Christof 62.121.23.56	22-Apr-05/2:19 AM
Really good stuff. I like the 'why chromosomes' pun. This short and sharp. Top marks, my friend.
Re: thoughts by not_a_philosopher	Christof 62.121.23.56	22-Apr-05/2:22 AM
Then why don't you write them down?
Re: Stop by [mojo]	zodiac 212.118.19.178	22-Apr-05/5:14 AM
Maybe you should post it on your own personal website closed off to other people instead of posting it on a public poetry-reading website, huh?
Re: Country Song by Caducus	Caducus 172.203.166.88	22-Apr-05/7:40 AM
if you play this backward sit has a happy ending.
Re: Country Song by Caducus	Dovina 204.250.12.246	22-Apr-05/9:51 AM
The irony of time - the order of things is wrong. Clean up a few grammar gaps.
Re: the solitary tree by bamf909	Dovina 204.250.12.246	22-Apr-05/10:01 AM
You tell us too much. Use fewer words and choose carefully. Avoid telling us things like "amber waves of grain display yellow cowardice." This has poetntial.
Re: A greater purpose? by Damien	Dovina 204.250.12.246	22-Apr-05/10:07 AM
This would be good if I found it scratched on a bar napkin. As a poem, it's a disjointed ramble. I think you should think about what you want to say before saying it. some good thoughts are scratched here.
regarding some deleted poem...	Dovina 204.250.12.246	22-Apr-05/10:11 AM
I'd comment on the poem, but, well, I know you too well.
Re: Panda Love by Semper Phildelis	bamf909 63.26.221.238	22-Apr-05/10:12 AM
this is kind of funny. i think "bang" is kind of harsh. i want to like the male panda, and that means he should be more sensitive to her needs. why odesnt he bring her a bouquet of bamboo shoots or something? (5)