regarding some deleted poem...	malpaso 70.233.152.145	5-Jun-08/7:24 AM
I love the rhythm of this poem;it creates suspense. I would,however,use a different verb than 'fling'. Give more power to the co-subject of the poem with something like 'spring'. Other than that small nuance, the imagery is superbly emotive---I give you a 10!Keep writing!
Re: Over the Horizon by Miggy	Prince of Void 77.237.65.172	5-Jun-08/1:40 PM
Over the horizon still some hopes will be found but at the end of the horizon will sink in darkness until dawn over the horizon slowly breaking into the far distance it finds the way to lit my heart again fill me light but soon the light's getting dark it starts all over again ..this is transient hope over the horizon ..I see things in my own poin of view ...urs are good too I like it ...thanx dude
regarding some deleted poem...	impert&ent 82.46.129.169	6-Jun-08/2:52 AM
I'll give you a 10 for the use of tractor in your title. and a -9 for the rest of it.
Re: Taste Ghazni by eliastemplar	impert&ent 82.46.129.169	6-Jun-08/2:54 AM
in-sense?
regarding some deleted poem...	SupremeDreamer 76.254.25.244	6-Jun-08/12:59 PM
Nothing, it just confirms that you're a hillbilly dolt with loose bow'ls.
Re: my love life by mystic enoch	SupremeDreamer 76.254.25.244	6-Jun-08/1:28 PM
Stop whimpering and LIVE. Go manifest destiny motherfucker. Who knows, it might inspire you to write something other than this dribble. Zero.
Re: You say goodbye by winniss	SupremeDreamer 76.254.25.244	6-Jun-08/1:29 PM
What quotebook did you steal that from? Zero.
regarding some deleted poem...	SupremeDreamer 76.254.25.244	6-Jun-08/1:31 PM
Apparently no one shall, everyone knows what happened to Jesus when he did that. Nine.
Re: The Testimonial to my life by Prince of Void	SupremeDreamer 76.254.25.244	6-Jun-08/1:34 PM
Can you make all that interesting and cut the self-pity by 80%? If so, perhaps a decent poem coming out of this just might be possible. Zero.
regarding some deleted poem...	half.italian 76.172.228.248	8-Jun-08/5:20 PM
leaning in the circle of its yolk
Re: sperladnik by malpaso	malpaso 70.233.172.172	10-Jun-08/7:30 PM
no one dares comment on the dreaded sperladnik...like the Inquisition, no one expects it.....mmmmbwaaahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!
Re: Daddy works at the Bank by Skamper	malpaso 70.233.172.172	10-Jun-08/7:38 PM
man, that's gross....I love it!!!!!
Re: Fuck stupid chemistry labs by jauser	T. Jonathron Remp 70.253.91.255	20-Jun-08/11:11 AM
More like this
Re: love 2 by little_angel_maria	nentwined 98.148.150.246	24-Jun-08/12:03 PM
Adding one word to a poem is not a significant change. This is "Realizing Love" by Richard Sheak.
Re: boy girl by little_angel_maria	nentwined 98.148.150.246	24-Jun-08/12:08 PM
This anonymously authored poem appears to be older than this poster.
Re: If I Could by little_angel_maria	nentwined 98.148.150.246	24-Jun-08/12:09 PM
This is by Sandra Lewis Pringle.
regarding some deleted poem...	nentwined 98.148.150.246	26-Jun-08/8:22 PM
that's certainly long. good progression. very good progression, really, in terms of images/concepts. I don't think the words work very well for me, or the flow on the line/stanza level. Too much is told, for me.
Re: A rock by nisim2	nentwined 98.148.150.246	26-Jun-08/8:26 PM
The English of this piece is very awkward. Reads like a school assignment? Not sure you meant dolor or color (though both work about as well?) They end-rhymes (and near rhymes) feel very forced (and AABB tends to jump out as juvenile when reading something).
Re: I Got Mine Designed by Skamper	nentwined 98.148.150.246	26-Jun-08/8:27 PM
funny that. random with a hint of purpose (I smell porpoise). I'd like to know a little more about what you got designed... maybe. :) I'm possibly missing a lot, here.
Re: Killer Gap by T. Jonathron Remp	nentwined 98.148.150.246	26-Jun-08/8:29 PM
The first stanza and three quarters really work, though I wouldn't expect them too. You're losing it for me where you break from the form and rhythm you've set up ((any form is tenuous and has a lot to prove about itself... and when you drop it, if that's not intrinsically meaningful, ...)) Interesting, though.