it rhymes, so it must be true.

paradigm best explains you? A pattern or model best explains you? huh.. strange. then you say you are outside of the box. cognitively dissonant. hmm.

"impeccable mess" says a lot. The rest of the poem wanders.

Good!

This is awful Horus and you know it.

Brackets are irritating, last two lines are delightful.

>>I am, unique.<< Sigh. That's as far as I came. I really wonder why you bother with puncts and comma's and spaces.

By the way, you were outranked ages ago, by Popeye: I yam what I yam.

A performance piece. Should be read at 90 m.p.h. Reads like crap on the page. I think I would applaud it at a slam fest.

A bit o' depression, eh?

First off, as someone who is sitting in a cubicle at this very moment, I can tell you that the world is not, in fact, a cubicle. Also, the Earth is round and therefore by very definition cannot be a cubicle. So, that part doesn't make any sense. Second, you rant and rave and basically tell me that I'm an idiot and that you are the most advanced human being on the planet? That's an out of control ego right there, chief.

Frost in his belly fire in his heart

inhibitions instead of inabitions.. because inabitions is not a word. a great word instead of inabitions would be inanitions. inanitions means exhaustion, as from lack of nourishment or vitality. This would make the next line about starving flow.

eww

I'm sad I had to read the comments to understand this... but I can see it now.. with the prodding from nentwined.

The first verse makes a clever point, but could do so in half the words. Lines 3-5 are almost repeats. Verse 2 is good up to "tryingto" and "bitches (bitch's) brew"

I'm hoping I am not wrong in thinking the above comments have missed the good thing you mean by this. "Do not cry for these whores, for they have cast the first stone." Much of your poetry can go either way, and I'm giving you the benefit. Chas Lotter wrote: "Above me shines a Judas moon Its malevolent rays Poking through the fleshless arms of a burnout tree A soldier hates the swollen moon. He hates the open ground."

no welcome here

I have this giant black friend with a shlong like a python. He likes Perry Como music and (up)tight cunts, and wants to get in contact with you.

I see you trying to rise above the slovenly souls around you - the point is well made. If I didn't like the attempt, I'd say nothing and go on to the next poem. First, it's rather important to write accurately with respect to numbers. When you say,"turning their mind cold" it's like chalk screaching on the blackboard. When you say "Man strives to be best / They force each other down" that's disagreement in numbers, and it irritates. Next, there is disagreement in purpose. When you say "Mankind will not surpass itself / They will never be free" that kind of disagrees with your point, which is that at least one man, you, can and will. Finally, I'll point out arrogance. Yes, I know that hurts, but it's there. When you say, "Yet alone I remain standing tall" you say that there is nobody else as good as you, which I do not believe you believe. So, you've got potential, but some needed cleanup.