| Re: Deconstruction Of The Heart by impert&ent |
daniella 200.89.142.43 |
16-Jun-05/7:05 PM |
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you are a deconstructionist, in a twist of taking down all that has fallen apart.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
Dan garcia-Black 69.237.76.28 |
16-Jun-05/7:20 PM |
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My vote is that you meant shrubs (plants) not scrubs (Surgical garb). Perhaps, I just don't get it. Is this another Neverland ranch poem? -9-
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| Re: Students by Blue Magpie |
Dan garcia-Black 69.237.76.28 |
16-Jun-05/7:37 PM |
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I hear children's voices reading lines 12 through 14. I would hope that there are teachers in this country who might listen to their students as well as you seem to listen to yours. I admit that lines 7 through 11 are a bit off putting in that the images have already been overused in the daily media. But all in all, it seems to be an honest effort.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
xxx 68.166.37.185 |
16-Jun-05/7:42 PM |
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This is far to rough all over.
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| Re: Love by untamed_fierce |
lil_evil_boi 70.68.76.244 |
16-Jun-05/8:00 PM |
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True. But you can stop by hating someone.
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| Re: Naughty Poems (R) by untamed_fierce |
lil_evil_boi 70.68.76.244 |
16-Jun-05/8:01 PM |
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| Re: fire has its own logic by impert&ent |
daniella 200.89.142.43 |
16-Jun-05/8:20 PM |
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| Re: These are not just words by impert&ent |
daniella 200.89.142.43 |
16-Jun-05/8:23 PM |
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Words are not meant to persuade
But to convey... perfect synthesis.
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| Re: Wholes: the year in reflection by impert&ent |
daniella 200.89.142.43 |
16-Jun-05/8:25 PM |
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and i miss reading your heart
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| Re: the space between by impert&ent |
daniella 200.89.142.43 |
16-Jun-05/8:27 PM |
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there should be an inhalation at the end of these lines.
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| Re: Fourteen Years by impert&ent |
daniella 200.89.142.43 |
16-Jun-05/8:29 PM |
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as in bowls me over bowls
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| Re: Special Place by untamed_fierce |
lil_evil_boi 70.68.76.244 |
16-Jun-05/8:44 PM |
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Let me guess...a library?
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
lil_evil_boi 70.68.76.244 |
16-Jun-05/9:05 PM |
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I think it's actually quite enjoyable...good job.
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| Re: Love by untamed_fierce |
Bankrupt_Word_Clerk 69.231.18.186 |
17-Jun-05/12:46 AM |
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good start.. where are the other stanzas?
I'll vote when you're done.
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| Re: Naughty Poems (R) by untamed_fierce |
Dovina 69.175.32.185 |
17-Jun-05/10:25 AM |
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These are very funny! Did you write all of them; some seem familiar, but I'm not accusing you of anything, could be that they are just the kind of thing I've heard before.
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| Re: Special Place by untamed_fierce |
Dovina 69.175.32.185 |
17-Jun-05/10:27 AM |
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It has such a nice rhythm that the lines which don't really stand out.
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| Re: Love by untamed_fierce |
Dovina 69.175.32.185 |
17-Jun-05/10:29 AM |
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rockmage is worng. Nevertheless, this is a weak or incomplete poem.
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| Re: When the muse calls. by darby pyn |
Dovina 69.175.32.185 |
17-Jun-05/10:32 AM |
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Not a poem, but some good thoughts that could be made into a poem.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
Dovina 69.175.32.185 |
17-Jun-05/10:36 AM |
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Without your comments I would not have known what you meant. This has been true of several of your poems. For me, at least, more clarity and less poetic license would make a better poem.
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| Re: For the love of joey(revised) by mystic enoch |
Bankrupt_Word_Clerk 71.130.125.60 |
17-Jun-05/12:23 PM |
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"for the love of you" is just bad.
the genitive form of YOU is YOUR.
"for your love" is a song by a reggae band (King Konga) a Country Artist (Chris LeDoux), and a classic sixties rock song (yardbirds). I even think Stevie Wonder sang a song titled For your Love.
okay. bye.
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