regarding some deleted poem...	LilMsLadyPoet 64.12.116.135	13-Jul-05/2:42 PM
This started out pretty good, but then fell apart. Besides that...you really need to get help with punctuation! Not as good as the others I have read by you, (by far) Sorry. My favorite parts> magnificence, perfected, and purified... and... the incessant longing for the unnattainable, pure torture for the human soul. (to/for my human soul?)
regarding some deleted poem...	LilMsLadyPoet 64.12.116.135	13-Jul-05/2:49 PM
that burns brighter and dances at the sound of your name. I read it as> that burns brighter and dances to the sound of your name. I kinda prefer "to". Other than that..if you want a subjective opinion, which I gather you do, since you posted it...It just didn't grab me, or move me, or make me think. It was sweet, and I am sure your love at the time adored it, but to me, it was a little sappy. >perfection is shone.: didn't work well in the rythm...uhm...no...sorry...just not doing it for me.
Re: Why I Bother by empire942	LilMsLadyPoet 64.12.116.135	13-Jul-05/2:54 PM
Sorry...I wonder WHY you posted this without a simple edit job...man...spelling, periods wherever, and not an original thought in there...boring, and not saying much.
Re: Only I wish I could say.. by PunkyPanda	LilMsLadyPoet 64.12.116.135	13-Jul-05/3:03 PM
I am thinking you are young...keep writing, this is sweet and a look into young-ness. I give you credit for correct spelling...not one mistake! (which is more than I can say about a lot of people who post! (Other than> 'outwith'...but I figured a typo!) You got too wordy in places> 'before in my fears I drown.'& 'I, which you will ban'. My advise is to write as you speak, as you hear it said in your head...let it just flow as-is, then clean it up and work on anything that doesn't work.
regarding some deleted poem...	Blindpoetry 68.111.56.213	13-Jul-05/7:08 PM
It's kind[of] like all your posted poems formed into one and this was the end result. I might have liked this better without the first line. And a few others
regarding some deleted poem...	Blindpoetry 68.111.56.213	13-Jul-05/7:18 PM
Replace lies with lives and we'll talk.
regarding some deleted poem...	jessicazee 152.163.100.135	13-Jul-05/11:04 PM
I think you could omit the line "where one can find" to make the produce speak for itself. The last four lines are throwaways, I'm sure you know that. Love it anyway, kind of how I see a glimmer of good in Charles Manson. Fascinating and brilliant, but just a hair from a Pulitzer. Expand more about the intro - it has a slightly menacing, tragic feel. Just the kind of feel I lie about to my friends in the morning. 8.7
Re: When the World Forgets by TLRufener	jessicazee 152.163.100.135	13-Jul-05/11:06 PM
The sentiment deserves more. And Kansas deserves credit for your "dust in the wind." However, I think your form and rhythm are smart. For whatever you take my opinion for.
Re: Happy Charlene by Dovina	jessicazee 152.163.100.135	13-Jul-05/11:11 PM
Tell me why the clouds are "sensuous" without the word "fluffy" (which conjures kittens and toilet tissue). Maybe this is a free-form ode to a friend, or you read my brother's 1985 diary when he had a Charlene Tilton obsession? Either way, I want to meet her. She sounds awesome.
Re: Try Thinking Too by Bankrupt_Word_Clerk	edpeterson 68.79.22.28	14-Jul-05/7:43 AM
bullshit
Re: the smallest box will do by elderking	Blindpoetry 68.111.56.213	14-Jul-05/8:14 AM
I liked this one. Except, for being an ignorant 15yroldbrat, what's C.O.D.?
regarding some deleted poem...	Bankrupt_Word_Clerk 71.133.41.82	14-Jul-05/12:05 PM
bullshit
regarding some deleted poem...	Bankrupt_Word_Clerk 71.133.41.82	14-Jul-05/12:09 PM
I think it's crap. last three lines were okay though.
regarding some deleted poem...	Bankrupt_Word_Clerk 71.133.41.82	14-Jul-05/12:11 PM
meh
regarding some deleted poem...	Dental Panic 84.31.86.195	14-Jul-05/6:38 PM
I agree with jessicazee about the 'where one can find' line. You might even leave out the humming. The bitch will sound even more edible.
regarding some deleted poem...	Dovina 24.64.223.204	15-Jul-05/5:28 PM
Sensual!
Re: Inoculation by bamf909	http://bandgeek 216.195.164.111	15-Jul-05/7:58 PM
funny, you should do public health commercials
Re: Moving Up by jessicazee	http://bandgeek 216.195.164.111	15-Jul-05/8:01 PM
nice collage of details
regarding some deleted poem...	http://bandgeek 216.195.164.111	15-Jul-05/8:03 PM
all right!
regarding some deleted poem...	http://bandgeek 216.195.164.111	15-Jul-05/8:07 PM
I feel like I walked in on something I wasn't supposed to see.