Bankrupt_Word_Clerk
on some deleted poem
26 Jul 2005, 11:16 AM
beery bladder. tee hee.
I'm assuming lyra is your cat.
it seems romantic then goes all sexual but -rim shot- is a ?drum hit? here. i think.
Maybe too much time on the jeans. Just a little trim. No pun intended.
This suggests to me you are talking about a poetess at a reading you saw.
Ugh...I have a feeling you had something you really wanted to say with this...but it got lost in there somewhere...everywhere. An evolution genius> An evolutionary genius. I LIKE the thought that if a man fucks another he succeeds in only raping his own ego. It is a worthwhile thing to talk about...the middle stanza is all over the place...and the whole thing is unclear, throughout.
man! This actually got my attention, as I kept on reading, and then you dropped the ball! CHOP! END> Nothing...it fell on its face! finish the thought here...you were rambling on with a story, that must have been leading somewhere...finish it!
hmmm...kinda cool!
YESss! Woo-Hoo!!!!! Two thumbs up!
hmmm....cool...though you lost me on stanza 3.
I thought the use of 'upon the Moonbeam Starship Satellite" a little long-winded..and ? unclear...otherwise I like it. I was thinking...> upon the moonbeamed__________ (something).
Here, Here! What fun! Thanks for sharing!
Man...I am putting this on my fav list...what a wretchedly real piece...I smelled it, tasted it, saw it from my hiding place in the corner, watching it unfold...vile stuff and real stuff...and I rose with you when you came out the other side! Awesome, awesome job!
What a weird little bit of whimsy! The reference to beery bladder kinda grossed me out...uhm...this is the strangest thing I have read in a long time...hmmmm....I like the line "and revel buoyant", and the last stanza...cool rythm to it.
What?! I am speechless...how could you two give this an 8 and a 10?! What in the heck am I not seeing here?!...never mind...I totally disagree, for the record!
Dearest pinkbunnyofDOOM...just an observation...you start out saying you don't care...but the fact that you responded, and at length, contradicts that assertion. (Along with the fact that you find it disturbing, albiet, at the slightest.) I don't know the politics going on behind this post...and don't care to. I would share, however, that I find a strange sense of disturbing satisfaction at the thought that this site is set up to observe behaviour and writing, and perhaps writers...and if I were the observer, I would be quite amused....oh, wait, I AM an observer...and I am...(quite amused.)
LMAO...wow...what fun non-sense...can't give it a high score, though it was good for a chuckle. You have a strange sense of humor...one I see in more than a few unique friends of mine.
funny thing. your homepage says nothing about helping those in need. not your job eh?
God never made a sound, but you tell us not to underestimate God. The white veins were not God, nor were the fireflies? The laughing frogs and anguishing cicadas have it right. What are you, the observer, anguishing with, if not the sounds of God? Say what you mean, man! Or as CS Lewis said, the skill of writing is to know exactly what you want to say, and to say exactly that.